Great Quotes from Country Singers V: Hank Sr., Wynonna, Thomas Rhett

Little Known Facts: January '14

14 states have added Tim McGraw to their registered sex offender

list because of his song "Lookin' For That Girl".

The Reverend Horton Heat has never heard a who.

Luke Bryan named his penis "Mashed Potato."

Vanilla Ice stated in a recent interview that he thinks

"hick hop rappers are giving white rappers a bad name."

Every joke about Justin Moore that has been posted on FTM has gone over his head.

If you ask a Brantley Gilbert fan to show you their credentials, they will remove their teeth.

Wynonna recently auditioned for the role of Oompa Loompa Queen for Willie Wonka 2.

This "fact" is only here to improve FTM website traffic from 

bro-country listeners performing Google searches: Country haterz is loosers.

If the guys in Florida Georgia Line had an STD..... Never mind.

Clay Walker has decided to sell out to gain relevance; 

unfortunately the people he's trying to appeal to don't know what "relevance" means.

Cole Swindell learned all his best dance moves from Carlton on the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.

If you badmouth Shooter Jennings, he will kick your ass, 

unless you're over 5 foot tall then he'll probably kick your knee.

According to a 2013 Gary Levox arrest warrant, Golden Corral does not 

allow you to double dip chicken legs into the chocolate fountain.

---------

Most of these by Jeremy Harris.

It Was So Cold in Nashville Yesterday...

John Rich had to stay home and get plastered

158 hotties wearing cut-offs died of exposure

Luke Bryan had to pull out the skinny long-johns

Gary Levox had to have a gravy boat frozen to his tongue removed by the fire department

Wynonna turned bluish orange

Dallas Davidson wrote a song called "Ho on My Snowmobile"

Taylor Swift had to break up with boyfriends by text message

Brantley Gilbert fans had to warm themselves with meth lab burners

Justin Moore was lost in a 4" snow drift

Jamey Johnson slipped and shattered his beard

Country TwitterWINs: September '13

Fun With Google Searches: Randy Rogers, Luke Bryan, Wynonna, etc.

Once again... I didn't say it...

1 out of 4 ain't bad.

Yes, but he has to smile at the same time.

Monday Morning Memes: Wynonna, FGL, Joe Diffie, etc.

FTM Parade of Clichés

FTM has certain running jokes that have probably become annoying clichés to actual fans of said artists. That said, FTM will neither deny these jokes have been beaten like a dead horse, nor stop doing them. 

We choose to celebrate them!

Demotivational Posters: Chesney, Wynonna, Strait

Submitted by @pawnshopgold

Country Doppelgangers March 2013

It's been a year since FTM did a full edition of doppelgangers, so it's about time. Thanks to Jeremy Harris for sending the first two and sparking this new post!

Blake Shelton and Chaz Bono

Toby Keith and Leif Garrett.

Jeremiah Fraites of The Lumineers and Woody Harrelson

Kacey Musgraves and Lea Michele of Glee

Ryan Adams and Rick Moranis.

Tyler Hubbard of Florida-Georgia Line and
Jason Mewes of  the Jay and Silent Bob movies.

Hmmm.