Showing posts with label bro country. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bro country. Show all posts
Mar 26, 2018
Monday Morning Memes: Evolution, Women on Country Radio
Labels:
bro country,
Country Radio,
Despicable Me,
memes,
Satire
Jan 25, 2018
Country 2013 vs Country 2018
Labels:
bro country,
Florida Georgia Line,
Jordan Davis,
Luke Bryan,
memes,
Old Dominion,
Sam Hunt,
Satire
Dec 11, 2017
Monday Morning Memes: Blake Shelton, Christmas, Willie, etc.
Labels:
Blake Shelton,
bro country,
Christmas,
memes,
Satire,
Walker Hayes,
Willie Nelson
Nov 2, 2017
Bro-Country Accused of Sexual Harassment
In a stunning and wide-reaching announcement yesterday, hundreds of thousands of young women accused bro-country of sexual harassment. The waning but still popular sub-genre of mainstream country music faces serious charges of using misogynistic language and requesting sexual favors from its female listeners from 2011 through this year.
"It was a couple of years ago, but it feels like yesterday," said a shaken Lizzie Harrison. "He told me to get my little fine ass on the step, and that's just not okay." She related to us how she went along with it at the time - pretending to like the song and its implications - but has come to realize bro-country's inappropriateness.
Another accuser, Madison White, said that bro-country announced its intentions to "set her up on the kitchen sink" and "stick the pink umbrella" in her drink. "I know what he was talking about now - I was innocent at the time and I just sang along, but now I see how damaging that sort of language is" she told us.
Other allegations against bro-country include ordering "country girls" to shake their backsides, making constant reference to women's derrieres and legs, and plying young girls with alcohol. The legal implications of this tidal wave of serious assertions is unknown at this time, but we at Farce the Music fully support a swift and punitive outcome.
At press time, one unverified claim had come in from a Sherrie Summers of West Memphis, AR. "Bro-country grabbed my ass" she told us. We'll update this important story as more information comes in.
*I hate small type and shouldn't even have to say this but: This piece is in no way to minimize or make light of sexual harassment. In fact, I feel like some of the language used in bro-country actually does contribute to the degradation of decency and interpersonal relationships in this regard.*
*I hate small type and shouldn't even have to say this but: This piece is in no way to minimize or make light of sexual harassment. In fact, I feel like some of the language used in bro-country actually does contribute to the degradation of decency and interpersonal relationships in this regard.*
Labels:
bro country,
Chase Rice,
Fake News,
Florida Georgia Line,
Luke Bryan,
Satire
Oct 24, 2017
Bro-flakes?
Labels:
bro country,
Florida Georgia Line,
memes,
Satire
May 31, 2017
A New Summer Smash Hit
Just Like We Did Last Summer
©2017 FTM Satire
©2017 FTM Satire
Baby here we go again
A summer song for your and your friends
June, July and August heat
It's the same damn song with a different beat
Ice cold beers and happy tears
Cause swimsuit styles show more ass this year
Pour up drinks till the world's a blur
And crank whatever rapper's popular
Just like we did last summer
Dumb ass music and weak rum runners
You got pirate booty and I wanna plunder
No it ain't legal, but you got my number
Beaches, buds, and backseat hummers
Just like we did last summer
Honey, here's where I hip-hop talk
Even though I'm as white as chalk
Let's skinny dip, get a tan
Then dance by some trucks the way you can
If booty's wrong I'm a sinner
So turn it around like a fidget spinner
Auto-tune this familiar line
Pass around a jar of store bought shine
Just like we did last summer
Pickup trucks, Jeeps, and Forerunners
Country boys booming that bass like thunder
If the cops show up it'll be a bummer
Beaches, buds, and backseat hummers
Just like we did last summer
Bridge
This part's where we slow it down and get a little romantic
Girl you save me from myself, moonlight, blah blah enchanted
You be the housewife, I'll be the plumber...
Just like we did last summer
Dumb ass music and weak rum runners
You got pirate booty and I wanna plunder
No it ain't legal, but you got my number
Beaches, buds, and backseat hummers
Just like we did last summer
Labels:
bro country,
Lyrical Satirical,
Original Lyrics,
Satire,
Summer,
Trucks
May 3, 2017
How to Create a Hit Country Song in 2017
Labels:
bro country,
Chase Rice,
Colt Ford,
Dylan Scott,
Joe Nichols,
Kelsea Ballerini,
Luke Bryan,
memes,
Satire
Apr 27, 2017
The Big Lebowski: Country Reaction Gifs
So what'd you think of my Luke Bryan cover?
When a pop song hits #1 on the country chart
Did you know Sam Hunt has great love for old country music?
When somebody says Sturgill is overrated
When Donny's a pop country fan and tries to discuss Waylon
Florida-Georgia Line in 20 years
When Mojo Nixon is going to be hosting
the awards show you're producing
How bro-country fans picture anybody who doesn't like it
Apr 24, 2017
If FGL Wrote "Up Against the Wall Redneck Mother"
Apr 4, 2017
Honest Billboard Song Feature: Cole Swindell & Kip Moore
Mar 30, 2017
The Walking Dead: Country Memes
The Walking Dead season 7 finale is this Sunday.... at the same time as the ACMs and Wrestlemania. Choose wisely. Anyway, here are some new TWD country memes.
Labels:
Billy Ray Cyrus,
bro country,
Luke Bryan,
memes,
Phish,
Satire,
The Walking Dead
Mar 14, 2017
Just Shut Up, Bro
Labels:
Brantley Gilbert,
bro country,
memes,
Satire,
Sturgill Simpson
Feb 24, 2017
If These Pop Hits Were Bro-Country
Ed Sheeran - Shape of You
Come over in that short skirt and holler at me
Those red cherry lips got me like wow
Take my hand, dance, to Luke Bryan on the jukebox
And then we go to the truck, and now I'm like what what
Come over in that short skirt and holler at me
Those red cherry lips got me like wow
Take my hand, dance, to Luke Bryan on the jukebox
And then we go to the truck, and now I'm like what what
Chainsmokers ft. Halsey - Closer
So, hey girl, pull me closer
In the back seat of my Raptor
Migos rattling my Ford
Tribal tattoo on my shoulder
So, hey girl, pull me closer
In the back seat of my Raptor
Migos rattling my Ford
Tribal tattoo on my shoulder
Migos - Bad and Boujee
Black top, truck stop (truck stop)
Turning in a field where the girls hot (hot hot)
Light up a bonfire, the party hop hop hop (hop)
Pass the Fireball, I want a shot (shot)
Black top, truck stop (truck stop)
Turning in a field where the girls hot (hot hot)
Light up a bonfire, the party hop hop hop (hop)
Pass the Fireball, I want a shot (shot)
Lady Gaga - Million Reasons
Country girl in my Chevy, got one hand on the wheel
If you could see it my way, You'd let me grab a feel
Girl your fresh produce is always in season
Country girl in my Chevy, got one hand on the wheel
If you could see it my way, You'd let me grab a feel
Girl your fresh produce is always in season
The Weeknd - Starboy
I'm tryna get you in the right mood, yep
Riding cleaner than some new boots, yep
Those tan lines and eyes of blue, yep
Got me wanting to go screw, yep
I'm tryna get you in the right mood, yep
Riding cleaner than some new boots, yep
Those tan lines and eyes of blue, yep
Got me wanting to go screw, yep
Sam Hunt - Body Like a Back Road
***no changes***
Got a girl from the south side, got braids in her hair
First time I seen her walk by, man I 'bout fell off my chair
Had to get her number, it took me like six weeks
Now me and her go way back like Cadillac seats
Got a girl from the south side, got braids in her hair
First time I seen her walk by, man I 'bout fell off my chair
Had to get her number, it took me like six weeks
Now me and her go way back like Cadillac seats
Labels:
bro country,
Chainsmokers,
Ed Sheeran,
Lady Gaga,
Migos,
parody,
Sam Hunt,
The Weeknd
Feb 16, 2017
Stupidity is More Than Skin Deep
Labels:
bro country,
memes,
Satire
Jan 25, 2017
Tom T. Hall Goes Bro-Country
I Love
(Parody of Tom T. Hall's "I Love")
I love Powerstrokin' trucks, Swingin' truck nutz
Wearin' camo tanks, and skanks
I love blinding LEDs, wearin' skinny jeans
Calling people gay, Axe spray
And I love big boobs
I love tatted up skin, Instagrammed rear ends
T-shirts of Merle, but not Merle
I love Fireball in a cup, getting turnt up
Miller in a glass, and ass
And I love big boobs
I love making bitches smile, rolling coal for miles
Watching fights on Vine and stuntin'
I love unprotected sex, not sending child support checks
Music when it's Drake and Plies
And I love sweet nudes
Wearin' camo tanks, and skanks
I love blinding LEDs, wearin' skinny jeans
Calling people gay, Axe spray
And I love big boobs
I love tatted up skin, Instagrammed rear ends
T-shirts of Merle, but not Merle
I love Fireball in a cup, getting turnt up
Miller in a glass, and ass
And I love big boobs
I love making bitches smile, rolling coal for miles
Watching fights on Vine and stuntin'
I love unprotected sex, not sending child support checks
Music when it's Drake and Plies
And I love sweet nudes
Labels:
bro country,
Drake,
Parody lyrics,
Plies,
Satire,
Tom T. Hall
Dec 13, 2016
Rockin' Around in Skinny Jeans
(I wrote a whole Christmas song parody around @fiveoletsgo 's title.)
Rocking Around in Skinny Jeans
(FTM Lyrical Satirical)
Rocking around in skinny jeans
at the Christmas party, brah
Some mistletoe hung where chicks can see
It's hanging above my crotch
Rocking around in skinny jeans
Rocking around in skinny jeans
Makes the chain on my wallet ring
Later we'll do some body shots
and auto-tuned caroling
You will feel just like a Yuletime baller
You will feel just like a Yuletime baller
When you hear, voices holler
"Let's be merry; Pour me some Goose and cranberry"
Rocking around in skinny jeans
Rocking around in skinny jeans
Have a lit ol' holiday
Everyone stumble drunkenly
Round a bonfire of stolen crates
You will feel a little something something
You will feel a little something something
When you see fists are pumping
"Crank some Future; pour a line of Fireball shooters"
Rocking around in skinny jeans
Rocking around in skinny jeans
Now it's time to spit some game
Take this ho ho ho dancing merrily
To my jacked up Christmas sleigh
Labels:
bro country,
Christmas,
Fireball,
Future,
Luke Bryan,
Lyrical Satirical,
Parody lyrics,
Satire
Nov 16, 2016
Who's Gonna Fill 'em?
I'm getting so (old and) forgetful, I wrote this without recalling we'd already posted something
similar in the past (as if we don't recycle jokes daily). Anyway, my version more closely fits
the real lyrics and contains current details, even if Marilyn Branson's is funnier and has the
benefit of a great tune and production (below my lyrics).
Who's Gonna Fill Their Shoes
(A parody of George Jones' "Who's Gonna Fill Their Shoes")
You know this old world is full of singers
But just a few are chosen
To get it crunk up when they sing
Imagine life without them
All your bro country heroes
Like the cornball that wears those skinny jeans
No, there will never be another
Fat-headed Jason
Face painted black and fist bumping dudes
The dopey Voice host Okie
No what up darlin'
Lord I wonder, who's gonna fill their shoes
[Chorus:]
Who's gonna fill their shoes
Who's gonna yell yeehaw!
Who's gonna sing of hotties
And drinking sweet Fireball
Who's gonna show us how they roll
And sound so auto-tuned
Lord I wonder, who's gonna fill their shoes
God bless the boy from Georgia
Grinding with his pelvis
Singing about shaking it and beers
He sure rocks those skinnies
And really crashed the party
And "That's My Kind of Night" brings me to tears
You know the heart of bro country music
Still beats in Brantley Gilbert
Echoes cross that Florida-Georgia Line
Ol' Hubbard and Brian Kelley
Why I can feel them right here with me
In this chromed out Raptor rolling through the night
[Chorus:]
Who's gonna fill their shoes
Who's gonna yell yeehaw!
Who's gonna sing of hotties
And drinking sweet Fireball
Who's gonna show us how they roll
And take us on a cruise
Lord I wonder, who's gonna fill their shoes
Yes I wonder, who's gonna be a douche?
You know this old world is full of singers
But just a few are chosen
To get it crunk up when they sing
Imagine life without them
All your bro country heroes
Like the cornball that wears those skinny jeans
No, there will never be another
Fat-headed Jason
Face painted black and fist bumping dudes
The dopey Voice host Okie
No what up darlin'
Lord I wonder, who's gonna fill their shoes
[Chorus:]
Who's gonna fill their shoes
Who's gonna yell yeehaw!
Who's gonna sing of hotties
And drinking sweet Fireball
Who's gonna show us how they roll
And sound so auto-tuned
Lord I wonder, who's gonna fill their shoes
God bless the boy from Georgia
Grinding with his pelvis
Singing about shaking it and beers
He sure rocks those skinnies
And really crashed the party
And "That's My Kind of Night" brings me to tears
You know the heart of bro country music
Still beats in Brantley Gilbert
Echoes cross that Florida-Georgia Line
Ol' Hubbard and Brian Kelley
Why I can feel them right here with me
In this chromed out Raptor rolling through the night
[Chorus:]
Who's gonna fill their shoes
Who's gonna yell yeehaw!
Who's gonna sing of hotties
And drinking sweet Fireball
Who's gonna show us how they roll
And take us on a cruise
Lord I wonder, who's gonna fill their shoes
Yes I wonder, who's gonna be a douche?
Oct 6, 2016
Top 10 Conspiracies Shooter Jennings Can Cover Next
To celebrate the release of the Black Ribbons Ultimate Edition, Shooter Jennings has been running a podcast recently called Beyond the Black. In it he discusses the conspiracy-minded topics covered on that dystopian album. Jeremy counted down the best topics Shooter can cover on future episodes!
(and it's a top 11)
Top 11 Upcoming Topics For
Shooter Jennings' Beyond The Black Podcasts
11. David Allan Coe was never picked up by the ghost of Hank Williams.
10. All Colt Ford songs are secretly written about independent wrestler Die Hard Tom McClane.
9. Bambi's mom was an inside job.
8. Earl Thomas Conley schedules his tour dates around the Seattle Seahawks schedule. Coincidence?
7. 'Walking Dead' scenes that show destroyed urban areas are actually drone footage from outdoor bro-country concerts.
6. The earth is a simulation created by Richard Garriott.
5. Randy Quaid and Gary Levox have never been seen together. Tune in to find out why.
4. Proof that Sturgill Simpson is actually a reptile alien made of light.
3. Detroit was booming until Kid Rock went country. The connection is there!
2. Two members of Jackson Taylor's band are NOT sinners.
1. Billy
Ray Cyrus died in a rollerblading accident and was saved when doctors
working as consultants on the show 'Doc' stole Elvis' brain and
implanted it into his head. The show was cancelled shortly after because
he constantly wanted to sing 'Love Me Tender' during every episode.
(This title may need to be shortened before airing the show)
-by Jeremy Harris
Oct 4, 2016
Sep 12, 2016
Monday Morning Memes: Angry Aldean Edition
Labels:
bro country,
Florida Georgia Line,
Jason Aldean,
Luke Bryan,
memes,
Satire,
Whitey Morgan
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)