Showing posts with label parody. Show all posts
Showing posts with label parody. Show all posts

May 2, 2016

"Infected," a Parody of FGL's "Confession"


Infected
(Lyric Parody of FGL's "Confession")

Blue ink barbed wire wraps these arms
Wallet chain but I drive a car
Friday night just fades into the rearview
Yeah I had a pretty good time
For the half hour she was mine
At first I thought I had the beer flu
But now I wish what she gave me would disappear too

Chorus
I go take a pee and feel it burn
It feels real bad where I got laid
Guess I should be more careful about fields I play
She was so hot it just ain't fair
Pray for it to feel better down there
She had nice headlights and looked my way
Now, dude in the mirror looking back looks scared as hell
Should stop thinking with my erection
I thought it was just a poke, I don't know
Whatever I got, it's infected

This waiting room is so slow
Ten more folks before me to go
I sit here worried bout my part that dangles
Hope the doctor gets the swelling down
A pill to kill this gift I've found
In the arms of a trashy angel

I go take a leak and feel it burn
My package is in disarray
Got bumps and warts and lots of bad things underway
She was so cute it just ain't fair
She did some good and bad things down there
Had real nice headlights there on display
Now, dude in the mirror looking back looks scared as hell
Should stop thinking with my erection
I thought it was just a poke, I don't know
My poor little guy is infected

I go take a pee and feel it burn
It feels real bad where I got laid
Guess I should be more careful about fields I play
She was so hot it just ain't fair
Pray for it to feel better down there
She had nice headlights and looked my way
Now, dude in the mirror looking back looks scared as hell
Should stop thinking with my erection
Think I need medical attention
I thought it was just a poke, I don't know
Whatever I got, it's infected

Feb 3, 2016

Real Men Love Beavis


Real Men Love Beavis

Real men love fartin'
Beer and Steve Martin
Cable shows about war
Tammy and Dolly Parton
Real men love grandpa 
Po-boys and cole slaw
And Shawshank makes 'em cry
And they like scratching balls

They like Saturday nights drunk on the couch
Chewing bubble gum from a pouch
And Chris Rock jokes always get them grinnin'
Cheap cigars and sneaking smokes
Hot girls in their yoga pants
Trying to do that dabbing dance
And they get blue
After football season

Real men love Beavis
And topless beaches
And talking like The Rock during Obama speeches
They drive too fast till they see blue lights
They laugh at the meme of Michael Jordan cryin'
They forget to zip their fly
Netflix and chill and the world's alright

They like Saturday nights drunk on the couch
Chewing bubble gum from a pouch
And Pryor jokes always get them grinnin'
Cheap cigars and sneaking smokes
Hot girls in their yoga pants
Trying to do that dabbing dance
And they get blue
After football season
Real men love Beavis

Real men love Beavis
Saturday morning sleepin'
Hair that's barely brushed
And standing outside leakin'

They like Saturday nights drunk on the couch
Chewing bubble gum from a pouch
And Hedberg jokes always get them grinnin'
Cheap cigars and sneaking smokes
Hot girls in their yoga pants
Trying to do that dabbing dance
I'm telling you
It ain't hard to please 'em
Real men love Beavis
Real men love Beavis

Dec 22, 2015

If _____ Wrote a Christmas Song: 2015

Cole Swindell
Hey Ms. Claus I wanna wish you well
Let me watch you shake that thang like a bell
Come and take a ride in my jacked up sleigh
One arm round you, one holding the reins
We'll jingle ling down a gravel road
Make a little joy, who cares if it's cold?

Jay-Z
I'm a gift in every sense of the word, grinch
Better trust and believe in
Santa Claus this evenin'
Spreadin' joy like what, gonna roast them chestnuts
HOV!

Old Dominion
Greetings girl, what's up?
It's a holiday, but I knew you'd pick it up
What you got on?
Are you wearing that mistletoe thong I bought ya
I know you've dialed "91_" on your land line, but I'm hopin' you don't call
I'm watching through your window, and I brought you some Christmas balls

Slayer
Holiday bell ensemble
Joyous to see
Reindeer flying through the night
But then strikes tragedy
Gunshots o'er Tennessee
Hunting season's siege
Santa's team falls under the blade
Venison sausage is made

Nicki Minaj
This dude named Kringle used to make me merriest
Sack bigger than a mountain, I ain't talking about Everest
Real jolly ass elf, let me drive his snow speeder
Cookies made his mouth water, now he calling me Keebler

Kacey Musgraves
Misspelled Christmas on the trailer deck
Cause there's rum in my cider glass
If you hear the neighbors gossiping
Tell 'em they can kiss my merry ass

Jul 23, 2015

Remember When: A Depressing Parody Lyric

 
 "Remember When"
(A depressing parody of Alan Jackson's "Remember When")

Remember when songs were sung with words so true
and steel guitars and fiddles were still cool
You could hurt with Patsy Cline
Thumb a ride with Charley Pride
Remember when

Remember when they called the cows
or honky tonked
Broke our hearts, closed the bars, living hard
Waylon and Merle, trains and spurs
Texas boys, Kentucky girls
Remember when

Remember when old ones died and new came on
The sound was changed, modernized, rearranged
But even though some shined like stars
They still had country heart
Remember when

Remember when the lure of fame and greed
made the music
Chase the trend of the week
Big pickup trucks, bass and lust
Stole the soul and broke our trust
Remember when

Remember when George Strait was always on
And there was still twang in country songs
But where we are,
From where we've been
Too far to go back again
Remember when

Remember when we knew it'd be okay
And the cycle would turn back someday
But that's all past, pour a glass
Put on some Johnny Cash
And just remember when

May 7, 2015

"Take Your Dime," a Sam Hunt Lyric Parody

 So, I took the parody from this meme and expanded it to the full song...


Take Your Dime
(Parody of Sam Hunt's "Take Your Time")

I'm pretty sure you were looking at me, I'm hot

Your boyfriend is only five foot nine

And I used to play some football but

Now I'm just writing lines

And looking fine

And you know my name

'Cause everybody on Tumblr knows my name

And you just listen to what's popular right now

So girl, just turn some Sam Hunt on

How can that be wrong

My eyes are so captivating

My cap is flat-billed but

It's just a fashion statement

No girl I'm not gonna twang it

I'm not country

Can't stand it, but I pretend to

Chorus
I don't wanna sing like Waylon
You won't hear a fiddle whine
I don't even sound like country
I just wanna take your dime

I would rather play some Kanye
Sure not into Patsy Cline
I don't care 'bout steel guitars
I just wanna steel your dime

And it starts on Vimeo

And the next thing you know you're checking Spotify

Then you're pretty much obsessed

Haters just chap your butt

Responding "jealous much?"

And I'm sure you've gotten into debates in the Twittersphere

'Cause you're defending my honor to bloggers

That talk too much noise about my pop songs

"But country is evolving" yeah, you know that line so well

Your boyfriend rolls his eyes

Cause you're under my spell

High school poetry

Brings you to tears

I sing like an auctioneer

Fake chivalry makes your heart glow

Chorus
I don't wanna sing like Waylon
You won't hear a fiddle whine
I don't even sound like country
I just wanna take your dime

I would rather play some Kanye
Hang with Florida-Georgia Line
I don't care 'bout steel guitars
I just wanna steel your dime

Woah, I don't wanna sing Jones to you

Woah, I just want ninety-nine cents from you

I don't wanna sing like Paycheck
You won't hear a tear-filled line
I don't even sound like country
I just wanna take your dime

I would rather play some Jay-Z
Sure not into Patsy Cline
I don't care 'bout old dive bars
I just wanna take your dime

No, You ain't gotta call me country

As long as all my checks are signed

I know the way to teen hearts

I just wanna take your dime, ooh

Dec 22, 2014

The 12 Bros of Christmas




The 12 Bros of Christmas

On the first day of Christmas
a dude bro sent to me:
A startling STD

On the second day of Christmas
a dude bro sent to me:
Two Jäger bombs
and a startling STD

On the third day of Christmas
a dude bro sent to me:
Three dick pics
Two Jäger bombs
and a startling STD

On the fourth day of Christmas
a dude bro sent to me:
Four V-neck shirts
Three dick pics
Two Jäger bombs
and a startling STD

On the fifth day of Christmas
a dude bro sent to me:
Five chromed-out things
Four v-neck shirts
Three dick pics
Two Jäger bombs
and a startling STD

On the sixth day of Christmas
a dude bro sent to me:
Six tans a spraying
Five chromed-out things
Four v-neck shirts
Three dick pics
Two Jäger bombs
and a startling STD

On the seventh day of Christmas
a dude bro sent to me:
Seven jeans so skinny
Six tans a spraying
Five chromed-out things
Four v-neck shirts
Three dick pics
Two Jäger bombs
and a startling STD

On the eighth day of Christmas
a dude bro sent to me:
Eight trucknuts swinging
Seven jeans so skinny
Six tans a spraying
Five chromed-out things
Four v-neck shirts
Three dick pics
Two Jäger bombs
and a startling STD

On the ninth day of Christmas
a dude bro sent to me:
Nine hoes a twerking
Eight trucknuts swinging
Seven jeans so skinny
Six tans a spraying
Five chromed-out things
Four v-neck shirts
Three dick pics
Two Jäger bombs
and a startling STD

On the tenth day of Christmas
a dude bro sent to me:
Ten Fords on Nittos
Nine hoes a twerking
Eight trucknuts swinging
Seven jeans so skinny
Six tans a spraying
Five chromed-out things
Four v-neck shirts
Three dick pics
Two Jäger bombs
and a startling STD

On the eleventh day of Christmas
a dude bro sent to me:
Eleven Swishers lighting
Ten Fords on Nittos
Nine hoes a twerking
Eight trucknuts swinging
Seven jeans so skinny
Six tans a spraying
Five chromed-out things
Four v-neck shirts
Three dick pics
Two Jäger bombs
and a startling STD

On the twelfth day of Christmas
a dude bro sent to me:
12” subs thumping
Eleven Swishers lighting
Ten Fords on Nittos
Nine hoes a twerking
Eight trucknuts swinging
Seven jeans so skinny
Six tans a spraying
Five chromed-out things
Four v-neck shirts
Three dick pics
Two Jäger bombs
and a startling STD

Nov 11, 2014

Lyric Parody of Scotty McCreery's "Feelin' It"


  Another potty-humor lyric parody from the mind of a perpetual 13-year-old.

"Flatulence"
(Lyric Parody of Scotty McCreery's "Feelin' It")

I'm flatulent

Black beans beanin'
Salsa saucin'
Tacos down the hatch
Cheese is cheesin'
Beef is beefin'
I should have skipped this snack
Flatulence

Beer is bubblin'
Tummy's troublin'
Pressure's building' up (uh)
On a third date
I shouldn't have ate
Somethin' that would struggle in my gut (flatulence)

And I pray, I pray I can hold on
Hope nothin', nothin' will go wrong
I don't wanna play a sphincter song
Must hold it in

Whoa, oh no
Ain't nothin' like feelin' that intestinal feelin'
Hunched up, pray for luck, God willin'
but it's flatulence, It's flatulence
Whoa, oh no
Ain't nothin' like grinnin' while tension climbs
Drop an SBD if I can
Hope it don't get out of hand
It's flatulence
Oh, It's flatulence

Please no rippin'
Nothing for whiffin'
Slip, slippin' holdin' on tight (man this sucks)
Date gets hotter
Don't drop a rotter
Keep organs in a vice (flatulence)

And I pray, I pray I can hold on
Hope nothin', nothin' will go wrong
I don't wanna play a sphincter song
Must hold it in (like this)

Whoa, oh no
Ain't nothin' like feelin' that intestinal feelin'
Hunched up, pray for luck, God willin'
but it's flatulence, It's flatulence
Whoa, oh no
Ain't nothin' like grinnin' while tension climbs
Drop an SBD if I can
Hope it don't get out of hand
It's flatulence
Oh, It's flatulence

Egg needs layin'
Donkey needs brayin'
But my girl wants a kiss
Red faced confession
Gaseous expression
Baby forgive me for this
(Flatulence)

Whoa, oh no
Ain't nothin' like feelin' that intestinal feelin'
Set free, full relief, expellin'
It's flatulence, It's flatulence
Whoa, oh no
Ain't nothin' like grinnin' when tension's gone
She just laughs as she holds my hand
She says she understands
It's flatulence
Oh, It's flatulence

We go parkin'
Kia's rockin'
Please no shartin'
Oh, I'm flatulent

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