Sep 7, 2011

99 Cent Reviews: Chris Cagle - Got My Country On

Chris Cagle - Got My Country On


The People's Take:


Finally! (5 Stars)

by MrsDaniLz

It's nice to have him back and making music again. Really hope radio picks it up and supports him because he is a true artist.


Confused (1 Star)

by ASClark84

i got this song confused with every other song that is currently on country radio…


(Editor's note: Review WIN!)



My Take:

If Chris Cagle has listened to the radio in his time away from the charts, surely he's noticed by now. If he's read Chet Flippo's CMT.com articles, Saving Country Music's rants, Country California's fake news or quotes, Farce the Music's anything (unlikely), or even a few random newspaper articles (even less likely), he must have recognized the trend.


I know you're familiar with the trend. Not only is it cliché; even mentioning it is cliché. I'm speaking of the "how country I am" songs in constant spin mode on your local country station since 2003. Complaining about them is almost as common as the songs themselves.


Based on his new single, Chris Cagle is either incredibly (almost willfully) ignorant, terribly stupid or does not give one single shit about the over-saturation of the subject matter. I'm going with a mixture of stupidity and not giving a shit – you couldn't not notice (could you?).


I guess Cagle and his management/record company figure that this type of song has basically become its own sub-genre in which at least 50% of the singles of that ilk find their way into the top half of the charts. It's like shooting fish in a barrel almost, so maybe it's not stupidity, on second thought.


Whether or not it's a good business decision to follow the canyon-sized ruts in this road is not my concern. My problem is with the bull-headed resistance to originality in today's country music scene. I'm not asking for a new political bent or even a change of scenery… but surely there are stories lived on these standard-issue backroads that could provide a much more interesting and personal connection between artist and fan. Country radio has truly become McDonald's. You always know what you're going to get, no matter if you drop in tomorrow or next November. While it's expected and guiltily appreciated from a fast food restaurant, standardization is tiresome and lazy when it comes to what is supposed to be an art-form.


There's little need to critique the actual sound of this song. It's what you're accustomed to from an upbeat country song these days. Loud guitars with a rock riff, ample drums, charging vocals. Jason Aldean is the standard-bearer for the modern country male, and Cagle does little to differentiate himself from that style.


Don't even get me started about this whole "get/got my _____ on" phrase. Unless I get a letter in the mail that says "You just got your million dollars on," I don't want to read or hear it.


This song reeks of desperation. Cagle's long absence from country radio's heavy rotation has led him to be a mere follower to artists who came after him in hopes of a return to commercial success. That resumed success is certainly possible, but suck-cess is guaranteed.


Total Value: .10/.99


The Checklist:

Check mark symbolHard Work

Check mark symbolChurch/God

Mama

Boots

Check mark symbolName Dropping

Dying Person

County Fair

Lost Love

Dog

Check mark symbolLove/Sex

Check mark symbolHometown/Country Pride

Kindly Advice

Check mark symbolTruck

Whiskey

Beer

Check mark symbolLife Affirmation

USA

Soldiers

Pop Sheen

Star Power


Aug 30, 2011

Larry Lee the Primitive Baptist Reviews: Brantley Gilbert

Brantley Gilbert - Hell on an Angel


I was appalled by the title of this song from the start. Why do so many country singers feel the need to promote that dark realm in their songs? Also, I'm no scholar but the frequent usage of "hell" in country songs as a noun, verb, adjective, adverb, interjection, dangling participle and whatever else can't be correct. Can I get a Amen!?


I have another question. Why is this song labeled as "country?" It is clearly a southern rock song like that infernal Lynyrd Skynryd and dirty rednecks like that. Brantley Gilbert looks way more like a biker man than a good old Christian country boy. You don't see me going around calling myself Larry Lee the United Methodist, do you? That would be ridiculous ...because I'm not a drunk.


Anyway, the song… It actually had potential and I thought it was a song of spiritual redemption until he called God "baby." I was all like WTF (Why the falsehood)? And then I was like "oh no he didn't." I'm sorry for all the slang, I've been filling in some at the South Holcomb Missionary Baptist Church while the Right Reverend Percival G. Sparks recovers from shingles and I picked up a little of that yang, homeys.


This song worships the false idols of love and females. This man was a sinner and claims to have been redeemed by the fairer se… uh, a woman. Not only is this false teaching, it goes against human nature as well. Women have more evil in one brain cell than a man has in his entire body (not counting the no-no place below his abdomen). Also, Eve was the first sinner. That's good enough for me to know that no salvation ever came at the hands of a female and that a man should always lead the way. Don't tell my wife I said that though.


I believe this Brantley Gilbert only changed his ways for the promise of sexual favors, not true love. There is only one true love and that is with da big poppa in da sky. Believe dat, gee!


You might have guessed that this song has earned the following grade:

F

Aug 29, 2011

Fantasy Football Teams of the Country Stars III

Fantasy football seems to get more and more popular every year and most FF leagues are drafting over the next few days (if they haven't already). It's become such a favorite pastime that even some country stars have gotten into the act ...and FTM has gotten hold of some more of the team names and logos from several of Nashville's biggest acts.











Eric Church












Kellie Pickler












Brantley Gilbert













Dave Haywood (of Lady Antebellum)













Wynonna













Darryl Worley












Toby Keith

Aug 28, 2011

Awkward Gary Levox Photo of the Week








Satirical Lyrical: It's Sad When People Die

It's Sad When People Die
©2011 Farce Satires

Mama said "Your aunt wants to see you"
"She's only got a little while"
So I shuffled up to her bedside
Doing my best to smile
My aunt said "Boy, you're growing tall"
"Son here's some advice of mine
The secret to a happy life…."
And that's when she flatlined

It's sad when people die
Listen to this song and cry
Remember those who aren't alive
Rolled out of here like tears from your eyes
It's so sad
So sad when people die

Granddaddy was older than Cain
I was helping him in the yard
We had a few laughs raking the leaves
And washing his old car
When we were done we shared some Cokes
And he poured in a little Beam
He said "Someday, son, I won't be here"
Then he slumped over on the swing

It's sad when people die
Listen to this song and cry
Remember those who aren't alive
Saying goodbye with one last sigh
It's so sad
So sad when people die

Bridge
I came home from college 'cause dad was sick
And you just can't get time back
Pulled in the drive in Granddad's old car
And ran over my dog Jack

It's sad when doggies die
Listen to this song and cry
Remember those up in the sky
Gone from this place like your face's smile
It's so sad
So sad when people and doggies die

Still, iTunes... still? Let the man move on...

(Click for closer view)











Aug 26, 2011

YouTube Gems: Muppets!

From Muppets: The Green Album, a collection of Muppet favorites covered by contemporary rock and alternative acts, here's OK Go and a bunch of Jim Henson creations with the Muppet Show Theme Song.

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