Sep 18, 2012
Sep 17, 2012
Lyrical Satirical: Jesus in My Truck
Jesus in My Truck
©2012 FTM Lyrics
If Jesus showed up at my house
And wanted to go ridin' round
I'd tell him hop on in
My Chevy with the big ol' tires
Man, it couldn't ride much higher
I'd play some Cash for Him
Chorus
And we'd roll with the windows down
Them gravel roads outside of town
Then throw a line and catch some bream
And He could feed all of my friends
And turn water to Miller Lite
Nobody'd be in the mood to fight
And my pickup would never get stuck
With Jesus in my truck
I'd introduce Him to my girl
Thank Him for cut off jeans and squirrels
And Skoal and camoflauge
We'd watch the Ole Miss Rebels play
And maybe once they'd win a game
Then we'd go haul some logs
And we'd roll with the windows down
Them red dirt roads outside of town
Then throw a line and catch some bream
And He could feed all of my friends
And turn water to Miller Lite
Nobody'd be in the mood to fight
And my pickup would never get stuck
With Jesus in my truck
Bridge
He wouldn't pick no city boy
No hipster with no Prius car
Cause Jesus likes to keep it real
In a full-size with a chrome roll bar
And we'd roll with the windows down
Them gravel roads outside of town
Then throw a line and catch some bream
And He could feed all of my friends
Then we'd go out and meet my folks
Maybe He'd bring back my ol' dog, Smoke
Man I tell you it wouldn't suck
Truck no, it would never get stuck
With Jesus in my truck
Sep 16, 2012
Sep 14, 2012
YouTube Gems: The Pollies
From their forthcoming album, Where the Lies Begin, here are The Pollies with their absurd new video for "Something New."
Sep 13, 2012
Phoenix Stone: A Guy You'll Want to Punch in the Gonads
Just look at this turd.
Don't you already want to punch him in his goofy-ass smile for no real reason?
Well, that's Phoenix Stone, one of the founding members of the Backstreet Boys. I guess he had too much artistic integrity and quit or something. I really don't care enough to do any proper research. Anyway, here's his debut solo album.
Don't you just want to tell Jon "Bones" Jones that Phoenix just told a racist joke and toss them into a locked cage together?
So, why am I mentioning this guy? I don't usually give much coverage to pop music.
Well.... guess. Just guess. That didn't take you long.
OF COURSE HE'S GONE COUNTRY!
Look at this tool now.
Suddenly he's got tattoos, a cowboy hat, shades and a guitar. Oh, and notice that lovely lens flare.
F this guy.
Do I even need to farce the cover of his new single? Okay, I will, but it's not like there's much left to do. Have I listened to any of his music? Nope. I don't even have to. I know it sucks. Is there any question? He looks like a Bachelor reject and his tattoo also pulls double-duty as his logo. Somebody punch this wanker.
Oh, and Nashville..... MAKE IT STOP!!!
Best Albums of 2012 So Far: September
New to the chart this month: The Pollies, Chris Knight, Uncle Lucius and the John D. Hale Band.
1. Lee Bains III & The Glory Fires - There is a Bomb in Gilead
2. Marty Stuart - Nashville, Vol. 1 Tear The Woodpile Down
3. The Pollies - Where the Lies Begin (Release Date: Oct. 2)
5. Turnpike Troubadours - Goodbye Normal Street
7. Arliss Nancy - Simple Machines
9. Killer Mike - R.A.P. Music
10. Shooter Jennings - Family Man
11. Blackberry Smoke - The Whippoorwill
12. Darrell Scott - Long Ride Home
13. John D. Hale Band - More Than I Can Handle (Release Date: Sept. 25)
14. Jason Eady - AM Country Heaven
15. Kellie Pickler - 100 Proof
Sep 12, 2012
Album Review: Chris Knight - Little Victories
If you're already a Chris Knight fan (and you should be), you've come to expect certain things from one of his albums. Gritty honesty. Earle-meets-Mellencamp country tinged roots-rock. Melodies that stick in your head for weeks. A focus on rural hardship. Lots of murder. Well, Little Victories has all of those things minus one. Going on 15 listens, I don't believe I've noticed more than one loss of life.
Don't worry, Chris is good enough that he doesn't have to let the lead fly every time out to deliver a satisfying collection of songs. While previous releases have seen foiled robberies, abusive jerks gone missing and bodies dumped in the river, the central bloodshed on Little Victories is the steady trickle of dead Presidents from your wallet. The commercial music world is keeping things typically light with trucks and girls and beer, but Knight sets his sights squarely on the difficulties of life in an endless damned recession.
"In the Mean Time" leads off the album with a treatise on self-reliance. Knight warns that as bad as it is, you should prepare for worse. "You might have to go out and shoot something and drag it home" and that might not be the only reason you need a shotgun.
Later, one of my favorites on the album, "Nothing On Me" chronicles the scars of a man and his dog who've already been made ready for hard times by hard living. A sawing fiddle and ringing guitar accompany Knight as he puts a more personal spin on the message of the album opener.
The title track sees Knight trade verses with John Prine in a song that celebrates the small successes that help get a person through struggles. Deer in the freezer and a baloney sandwich for lunch might not sound like much, but sometimes that's all it takes to keep the dark clouds at bay.
"You Can't Trust No One" is the darkly humorous flip-side of so many 60s love and peace anthems. Knight confronts the well-meaning ideals of community with the reality that some people are always ready to take advantage of such trust. "Everybody pack your picnic lunch and everybody pack your gun" is the hard truth he bears.
Little Victories isn't a concept album by any means, so there are plenty of Knight's trademark stories, drifter anthems and lost love laments. "Low Down Ramblin' Blues" is a catchy mid-tempo ode to never letting your hat hang in one place for long. Long-time fans will recognize "Hard Edges" from the Trailer Tapes collection. This time it's a fleshed out, full-band effort that while still more than solid, loses a bit of its raw impact.
So, how does Little Victories rank among Knight's stellar string of releases? Honestly, I don't know. He hasn't put out a single album I'd take a pass on yet, so if this one's in right there in the pack, it's in excellent company. Consistency is one of Chris' strengths and this is an album any Knight fan will love. It's also just as good a place to start as anything else he's put out, if you've never heard his music. Knight is one of America's greatest living singer-songwriters and Little Victories only adds to his legacy …even without the high body-count.
A-
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Little Victories is available on iTunes, Amazon, Lone Star Music and other outlets.
Sep 11, 2012
Top 10 Ways Brantley Gilbert Fans Celebrated His CMA Best New Artist Nomination
10. Increased gauge size on earrings
09. Bought this for their bondo colored, big-ass truck
08. Oxycontin party
07. Drove into town - beat up city slicker
06. Popped open 10-year-old bottle of MGD
05. Fired guns and sprayed Axe into the air
04. Splurged for Bumpers burgers
03. Had celebratory sex with girlfriend/sister
02. Cooked up "special edition" batch of meth
01. High-fived cellmate
Feel Bad For You Mixtape: September 2012
You know the deal by now. FBFY is a monthly mixtape put together by like-minded bloggers, music fans and miscreants. This month's edition includes songs from Ricky Skaggs & Tony Rice, Chris Knight, Corb Lund, The Sex Pistols and Chris Bell. Download the mixtape or leave a comment here. Stream it below.
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