New Reba cover revealed!

Review Fail III

I like to review songs and album as much as the next blogger, but sometimes it's just more fun to sit back and let the (ir)regular music fans do it...

(Actual unedited (except for space on occasion) iTunes reviews)

ReviewFail

Jamey Johnson - Front Porch Swing Afternoon

horrible

(1 Star)

by Red DirTMUSIC

once again Jamey Johnson proved that he can not sing. but then again he does fit in with the rest of the singer/songwriters in nashville who have steadily butchered country music with thier flash and skinny jeans.

John Rich - Country Done Come to Town (video)

THE BEST VIDEO EVER SINCE ANOTHER YOU

(5 Stars)

by JOHN RICH'S BIGGEST FAN

I HAVE BEEN A JOHN RICH FAN SINCE H WAS IN LONESTAR,BUT NOW JOHN RICH HAS CHANGED COUNTRY MUSIC FOREVER.I LOVE THIS MUSIC AND I WILL ALWAYS BUT HIS MUSIC.ANOTHER YOU VIDEO AND THIS VIDEO ROCKS AND KICK COUNTRY BUTT.

Billy Currington - Pretty Good at Drinkin' Beer

Crap

(1 Star)

by sYn666

Another song about how he got AIDS from that h+mo Kenny chestnut-in-ur-butt......

Gucci Mane - Gucci Time (feat. Swizz Beatz)

classic song

(5 Stars)

by kinghatter

classic songs classic mixtapes gucci the greatest rapper of all time f what hatters think BURR BURR BURR

Trace Adkins - Cowboy's Back in Town

why!!

(1 Star)

by ShowChoirTenor

sing about roughing up a ladies slapping grandmas and hold my beer im drunk seriously!

Miley Cyrus - Can't Be Tamed

Whoaaaaaa

(1 Star)

by Bobolina4747

She went from to lik a kid artist to lik a mini britney

Jerrod Neimann - Judge Jerrod and the Hung Jury (I'd actually put this one in the win column if they knew how to spell)

Album cover...?

(1 Star)

by ajskdlfjasdklfjkl;sfasd

What is he looking at? Is he a ginacologist?

Laura Bell Bundy - Achin' & Shakin'

Listen

(5 Stars)

by Cowgirl4ever

I don't know who u think u r but u have no right to say that about LBB cuz she is a great artist! She may not be old country but she still is country! You try to sing as good as her! Ya that's what I thought.....

The Roots - How I Got Over

Are You Serious????

(1 Star)

by Supa Cool 808

Who do these people think they are exactly...the're definatly not a hip hop group...if these people think the're making hip hop music the're wrong. If u want some real hip hop go check out WEBBIE!!!

Lil Wayne - Right Above It (feat. Drake)

First I was the first person to listen to this

(5 Stars)

by Mondragon force

Man this song is old it got leaked long ago, free my boi wezzy ya heard the song is good not best but good, life is a bi@@ play in the sand hahahahaha

Jessie James - Boys in Summer

i like nickelback!!!

(1 Star)

by nickelback girl!!!

If you people want a good summer anthem, try Nickelback's "This Afternoon". It rox, this doesn't.

Chelsea Fields - Things I Should've Said

Chelsea is taking over!!!!

(5 Stars)

by jessakajar

Chelsea's song Things I Should've Said is amazing! It is so addicating!!! I can't stop listening to it. Also the dance version makes me happy on the dance floor! I can't wait to hear more. She will soon be up with artist like Faith Hill, Lady Antebellum, and many more... Watch out!!! Biggest Fan!!!!

Dane Cook - ISolated INcident (Deluxe Version)

Hysterical as always

(5 Stars)

by MW Chief

This is comedy at its purest! I'm a big DC fan and I've been listening to him for about 3 years now, and this stuff is hysterical. I couldnt breathe from laughter while listening to "Big Shot", I had to hold my ribs and everything to keep myself from dying of laughter, THATS how funny it was.

Top 10 Ways to Liven Up the Americana Music Awards

The Americana Music Awards show is this Thursday, and while I'm certain it will a fine event, FTM has a few suggestions to make the proceedings a little more exciting!

10. During Ray Wylie Hubbard's set - the return of Soy Bomb

09. New category: Best Thrash Americana Album

08. Only serve moonshine at the festivities

07. Let Billy Joe Shaver host the show ...without a script

06. Dress code: Affliction, True Religion and Ed Hardy apparel only

05. Those Darlins vs. The Be Good Tanyas in a mud wrestling match

04. Invite Jason Aldean, seat him between Drive-by Truckers and The Felice Brothers

03. AMA's Drinking Game - Take a shot every time someone sings something dry or melancholy.

02. Co-presenters: Jeff Tweedy - Jay Farrar

01. Shocking kiss between Lucinda Williams and Neko Case

Songs Illustrated #30

Texas Day 4

Thanks to uh... somebody (sorry, it's been so long I forgot who), for the idea for the Mark Chesnutt cover.

Next post is...

Texas Day 4 (17+ new Texas country parody album covers) featuring farces of Wade Bowen, Austin Collins, Drew Kennedy, Jason Boland, Lee Ann Womack, Steve Earle and more. Here's a small preview...

YouTube Gems: Cee-Lo Green

Warning! This has R-rated language... but it's soooooo good! Real R&B ...with a naughty tongue.

Songs Illustrated #29

Honest Jason Aldean DVD Cover

Free t-shirt design for up and coming Texas country artists

You're welcome!

Ryan Bingham for cheap!

The new Ryan Bingham album, Junky Star is only $3.99 this week at Amazon (mp3 download). I've listened to it twice so far and I'm fairly certain it will find a high ranking on my next top albums chart. Seems to be much better than Roadhouse Sun. Give it a shot. Can't go wrong at that price!

Sugarland Face Swap

Hope I didn't ruin anyone's dinner.

Best of 2010 So Far: 2/3 Report

Here are FTM's Top 25 favorite albums of 2010 so far with links to listen to/buy some of them:

1. Jamey Johnson - The Guitar Song

2. Trampled by Turtles - Palomino

3. Austin Collins - Wrong Control

4. Big Boi - Sir Luscious Left Foot: The Son of Chico Dusty

5. Joe Pug - Messenger

6. Kasey Anderson - Nowhere Nights

7. Truth & Salvage Co. - s/t

8. Rodney Hayden - Tavern of Poets

9. Sharon Jones and the Dap-Kings - I Learned the Hard Way

10. Dirty Sweet - American Spiritual

11. Paul Thorn - Pimps and Preachers

12. The Black Crowes - Croweology

13. Band of Horses - Infinite Arms

14. Drive-by Truckers - The Big To-Do

15. The Dillinger Escape Plan - Option Paralysis

16. Sean McConnell - Saints, Thieves & Liars

17. Hellbound Glory - Old Highs and New Lows

18. The Roots - How I Got Over

19. Reckless Kelly - Somewhere in Time

20. Lissie - Catching a Tiger

21. The Dirty Guv'nahs - Youth is in Our Blood

22. Randy Rogers Band - Burning the Day

23. High on Fire - Snakes for the Divine

24. Great American Taxi - Reckless Habits

25. Against Me! - White Crosses

Snap Judgments: Promo Only Country Radio September

A summary of this month's comp: the big stars generally disappointed with lackluster releases. There are a few gems from big names and a couple from the never-heard-of-ems. The rest is mostly middling. Click the links for a full listen or sample of the song.

Snap Judgments - Promo Only Country Radio September

Josh Gracin - Cover Girl

2010's version of Sammy Kershaw's "She Don't Know She's Beautiful," except minus the charm. Cliché by every measure. Soft rock with guitars. Josh: "shake what your mama gave you" "sundress" etc. Me: "puke"

F

James Wesley - Real

Timely, if only because reality shows are still inexplicably popular, "Real" contrasts television's version of reality to the average American's reality. Besides leaning a little too hard on the gimmick (mentioning shows by name), this is a catchy (if sounding like it came from the 90's), memorable song with some definite hit potential.

B-

Kenny Chesney - Boys of Fall

Scru u h8ers. Ur jus jelious. Seriously though, I like this song a lot, at risk of my snarky blogger and alt-country lover credibility.

B+

Craig Campbell - Family Man

Another tune reminiscent of 90's country, "Family Man" is either cloying or heartfelt, probably depending upon your experience with the subject matter of the song... and your level of cynicism I suppose. Surprisingly, this jackass jerk of a blogger likes it. Feels honest.

B

Mark Chesnutt - Lovin' Her Was Easier

Mark's Waylon (Bare) cover is warm, but fairly unremarkable. That said, an adequate Waylon cover by Mark Chesnutt is better than the best Taylor Swift tune.

B

Miranda Lambert - Only Prettier

Hard to give a snap judgment of a song I've been listening to for months. Miranda's latest single is snappy, witty and full of attitude. This should solidify her spot on Nashville's A-List without sacrificing any "real country" cred.

B+

Burns & Poe - How Long is Long Enough

This may mark the end of the Burns & Poe experiment. This is the musical equivalent of a sigh. Or a yawn.

D

Jessie James - Boys in the Summer

Kinda late, eh? This reminds me of Laura Bell Bundy's "Giddy On Up" from a few months back. Very catchy, danceable, not that country, and entirely girl-centric. As a pop song, I'd probably give this a B-. As a country release, it's a:

D+

Blake Wise - Cornfields

Wise has a good voice, but this is a pretty unremarkable song, especially for an introductory (?) single. It's basically "Small Town USA" relocated to Iowa... with a much droopier tune.

C-

Train - Hey, Soul Sister (Country version)

Hell no. Make it go away! I hated the pop version, so adding little steel or banjo is like putting a cowboy hat on a cow turd. You know, Train's debut CD was actually really good. Since then, it hasn't been all downhill, it's been all valley.

D-

Joe Nichols - The Shape I'm In

Another song I've heard before now and I was hoping he'd put out as a single. I <3>

A-

Williams Riley - Sweet September

It's rare, but sometimes a song can mix overdone lyrics and an "I've heard that somewhere before" melody with a little "it" factor and come out with something much better than the sum of its parts. This song is proof. I should hate this but...

B-

Johnny Bulford - Don't Make Me Love You

A fairly catchy country tune, but JB's voice just isn't built for radio stardom if this is his best effort.

D+

George Strait - The Breath You Take

I don't dislike this quite as much as most reviewers have, but it's far from up to par for King George. For me it boils down to: the melody of the verses sounds like a funeral dirge while the chorus is bumper-sticker inspiration nuggets with swelling lovey-doveyness. Somehow, the chorus I don't mind so much - the verses are awful. As a whole, it's a very difficult listen.

C-

Brantley Gilbert - My Kind of Crazy

Brantley doesn't have the most powerful set of pipes, but it's a likable rasp. My Kind of Crazy is not the most memorable of songs on the first couple listens but I could see it growing on me.

C

Chris Young - Voices

I liked it well enough the first time it was released as a single and still do. I think Chris needs to vary the subject matter of his future singles to show the less serious side of his persona, but this is good enough to get him another top 10.

B-

Darius Rucker - Come Back Song

Darius is going the opposite direction I'd hoped he would take. Resting on your laurels, Hootie? This tune is an earworm, but it's not something Darius should be proud to have his powerful instrument of a voice ever grace.

C-

Reba - Turn on the Radio

Child please. Reba Reba Reba... c'mon girl... you're better than this. This song will definitely cause me to do the opposite of your bidding. Wow, the superstars on this comp have really turned in some crap-nuggets.

D+

John Rich - Country Done Come to Town

Paging Big Kenneth. The other half of your duo needs your help ASAP. John's dishwater thin voice does nothing to elevate this cliché-ridden tune, which could stand a good shot of attitude to make it anywhere near hit-worthy.

D

Todd O'Neill - Somethin' With Some Attitude

In stark contrast to John Rich's trite number, Todd kicks this fairly "been there, heard that" song in the ass with his crackin' vocals. While I don't love the song, I'm looking forward to hearing more from this guy. Cool voice.

B-

John Rich's Songwriting Tips #44

You need to consider your demographic for the song you're writing. If you're writing one for the fellas, throw in a truck or a punch in the face or a Copenhagen ring, and you're in business. But since there are so many young female fans new to the genre, I try to get in the panties, errr, heads of these lasses to find out where they're coming from. Are they into partying, love, sex, drinking, philosophy, sex, cars, social networking or maybe even sex? Get close to them and find out. KNOW your audience. Words to live by pardner.

*Not actually written by John Rich

.99 Reviews - Rascal Flatts "Why Wait"

The People's Take:

Retro flatts? (3 Stars)

by GodBlessThe80s

This reminds me of something that would have been on the first or second album. Which is good, considering how lame "Unstoppable" was.

amazing (5 Stars)

by Shannabaker

I love this song...Rascal Flatts is an amazing group and I cannot wait for the new cd to come out in Nov!! I don't think he whines when he sings at all!!

wierd...(1 Star)

by Miley stinks!

This song is strange, and Rascal flats just doesn't have a good voice. Don't buy it, it is a waist of money.

My Take:

This is going to be a split personality review...half of me likes this song, but the other half of me hates it and hates the part of me that likes it.

Take 1

Sooo, I guess I can't rip this song to shreds since Rascal Flatts essentially did what I said they should in this edition of "Sackpunch." Country music's reigning boy band has gone back to their roots (lol), bringing us this sugary sweet nugget of pop music with a token fiddle dropping in now and then. The harmonies are as tight as ever, and Gary the Voice doesn't overreach as he too often does. The lyrics aren't gonna change your life, but they work well enough to propel this 3 minute positive, not too country, up tempo love song right along. My only real complaint is how on the nose the lyrics are. There's no wordplay and nothing whatsoever left to the imagination. Bottom line though, it's the best RF song in ages.

Total Value: .84

Take 2

It sucks and is representative of everything that is wrong with modern commercial country music. Gary LeVox's "vocals" are mostly studio magic. The lyrics are trite and sugary, the melody is pop. The production is slick and overwrought. The only thing country about this song is the token fiddle dropping in now and then. Bottom line: (insert country legend) is rolling over in his grave.

Total Value: .23

Average Total Value: .53 1/2

Well damn! I wanted the explicit versions!

Top 10 Songs That Didn't Quite Make the Cut for John Rich's Next Album

10. Jesus Loves Me (I'm Republican, You See)

09. She Said She Was Eighteen, Officer

08. I Done Been Country All My Life

07. Trucking Preacher Man

06. I'm Country and Your Not

05. Johnny Cash Would Buy This Song on iTunes

04. F*ck You, I'm Born Again

03. Beer is for P*ssies

02. Short Skirt High School Girl (I Think I Love You)

01. Country Preacher Trucker Man

Songs Illustrated #28

Country Doppelgängers 7

Rachel Reinert of Gloriana looks a little like Eva Mendes.

Jeff Bates w/soul patch looks a lot like Garth Bro... err, Chris Gaines.

Jeff w/o soul patch also looks like Matt Kennon or vice versa.

Uncle Kracker and Snow.

Sacrilege?