Oct 11, 2010
Oct 10, 2010
A Closer Look: Taylor Swift
Top 10 Benefits of "Next-Gen" Country Stations
American Twang recently reported on a new country station in St. Louis, MO playing a "Next-Gen" country format. Supposedly they're not playing such "old" stalwarts as George Strait and Reba and sticking to artists south of 50 during prime hours. While that sounds a like one of the final signs of the coming Apocalypse to FTM, we can actually see a few positives to this next gen approach (note: a couple of these actually are good things).
10. Opportunity to understand the genius of Uncle Kracker on a deeper level
09. Don't have to hear George Strait's new song "The Breath You Take"
08. No pesky emotions or originality to deal with
07. Easier to remember the 12 songs they play
06. You'll be able to relate to your kids' autotune-riddled music. Thanks Tim! (or is he too old for Next Gen?)
05. Don't have to hear the "character" (cracks, straining to reach high notes they used to hit with ease) in voices of decrepit singers
04. Brad Paisley will finally get his due as the elder statesman of country music
03. You'll always know what beer or truck brand is the most popular!
02. Recurrent Taylor Swift will desensitize your ears to high-pitched noises
01. Don't have to hear Reba's new song "Turn on the Radio"
Oct 9, 2010
YouTube Gems: Cee-Lo covers Band of Horses
From his forthcoming album Lady Killer, here's a (PG-13 NSFW) video for Cee-Lo Green's cover of Band of Horses' "No One's Gonna Love You." Pretty cool!
Oct 8, 2010
YouTube Gems: Delta Spirit
From their 2010 album History From Below, here's rootsy indie-rock band Delta Spirit with "Devil Knows You're Dead."
Oct 7, 2010
Oct 6, 2010
Oct 5, 2010
This Party in the Country Rocks (a satire lyric)
This Party in the Country Rocks
Field full of rednecks, check
Girls in cut offs, yep
A big ol' bonfire... what you expect?
Oh, we're way out
on the rural route
Predictably raisin' heck!!
Chorus
This party in the country rocks
Raise up your cups and shout it
You know this party in the country rocks
Because I'm singing about it
Got Coke in our whiskey, man
Got ladies with full body tans
Muddy pickups that cost thirty grand
Don't tell your maw
And here's a yeehaw
Let's build a cliche out of cans
This party in the country rocks
Turn up Bocephus louder
This party in the country rocks
Because I'm singing about it
Bridge
It's like every party you've been to, except cooler, ya know
Cause I'm sponsored by Bud and I'm on your radio
This party in the country rocks
Raise up your cups and shout it
This party in the country rocks
Kick your ass if you doubt it
This party in the country rocks
Because I'm singing about it
Yes I am
©2010 Corey Parkman
Oct 4, 2010
Best of 2010 So Far: The 3/4 Report
Top 30 Albums of 2010 as of October 3
01. Jamey Johnson - The Guitar Song
02. Trampled by Turtles - Palomino
03. Austin Collins - Wrong Control
04. Big Boi - Sir Luscious Left Foot: The Son of Chico Dusty
05. Joe Pug - Messenger
06. Kasey Anderson - Nowhere Nights
07. Two Cow Garage - Sweet Saint Me (likely moving up soon)
08. Truth & Salvage Co. - s/t
09. Rodney Hayden - Tavern of Poets
10. Sharon Jones and the Dap-Kings - I Learned the Hard Way
11. Dirty Sweet - American Spiritual
12. Paul Thorn - Pimps and Preachers
13. The Black Crowes - Croweology
14. Band of Horses - Infinite Arms
15. Drive-by Truckers - The Big To-Do
16. The Dillinger Escape Plan - Option Paralysis
17. Sean McConnell - Saints, Thieves & Liars
18. Hellbound Glory - Old Highs and New Lows
19. The Roots - How I Got Over
20. Reckless Kelly - Somewhere in Time
21. Lissie - Catching a Tiger
22. Zac Brown Band - You Get What You Give
23. The Dirty Guv'nahs - Youth is in Our Blood
24. Randy Rogers Band - Burning the Day
25. High on Fire - Snakes for the Divine
26. John Moreland and the Black Gold Band - Things I Can't Control
27. Great American Taxi - Reckless Habits
28. The Fox Hunt - Long Way to Go
29. Delta Spirit - History From Below
30. Against Me! - White Crosses
Oct 3, 2010
Top 10 Things You Can Expect To Hear On Country Radio This Fall
10. Weight loss/debt consolidation commercials
08. More dudes with facial hair than you can shake a Bic razor at
07. Guitars so loud you'll have to check to make sure you didn't switch to DoucheRock 104
06. No John Rich songs
05. Darius Rucker sandbagging
04. Creepy Pepsi Max commercials
03. Reba McEntire embarrassing herself
02. Taylor Swift singing about boys
01. Kenny Chesney singing about boys
Oct 1, 2010
Sep 30, 2010
Grandaddy’s Advice (a satire lyric)
Here's a silly little satire of all those "dad's/granny's/grandaddy's" advice country songs.
Grandaddy’s Advice
v.1
I remember when I was five
Playin’ in my grandparent’s drive
I fell off my scooter and skinned my knee
Grandaddy helped me clean my cuts
He whisked the gravel off my butt
Then he smiled and gave this advice to me
c.1
Old Milwaukee makes me sick
Run go check yourself for ticks
Y’know that youngest Golden Girl sure looked nice
Then with a tear in his eye
he said I love me some squirrel pie
That’s why I never took Grandaddy’s advice
v.2
I remember in seventh grade
Ridin’ in grandaddy’s Chevrolet
He pulled over and said it was my turn
As I slipped into the driver’s seat
and felt the pedals under my feet
Grandaddy smiled and said “It’s time you learned...”
c.2
Look both ways before you leap
Damn my drawers are startin’ to creep
How do they make them Crispies out of rice?
Then with a somber voice
He said urine cures hemorrhoids
Thank goodness I never took Grandaddy’s advice
v.3
Ten years later I heard the news
Grandaddy’d flown his earthly coop
Died in his sleep with a big grin on his face
At his service I said a piece
Told some advice he’d given me
And I could almost hear his voice say...
c.3
Don’t pee on an electric fence
Look I just found thirty cents
Pour me some V-8 and vodka over ice
The Lord knows I loved that man
but I’m sure you all understand
That’s why I never took Grandaddy’s advice
(tag: in a sad voice with minimal music backing)
Old Milwaukee makes me sick
Run go check yourself for ticks
Y’know that youngest Golden Girl sure looked nice
Then with a tear in his eye
he said I love me some squirrel pie
Now I sure do miss Grandaddy’s advice
©2003 Corey Parkman
John Rich's Songwriting Tips #45
When I'm not busy writing modern country classics like "Country Done Come to Town" and "Country Trucker Preacher Man," I'm either drinking myself into a higher state of consciousness or filling up the tank another way. What way, you ask? You see son, artists are like rivers running through the woods. As long as good clean water is flowing in, the river flows smoothly and is perfect for taking a couple of lady friends to play "sink the bobber," errr, I mean go fishing. However, if things get constipated upstream, the river becomes stagnant and smells like ass and taco vomit. In other words, keep your mind active... read books (I like to go with Juggs or Glenn Beck's latest tome), watch movies (Transformers and Sex Toy Story 3 were my latest) and listen to music (CBT, CDB). Good input = staying regular and putting out some gooood shit! That's how the master does it. I'm out.*Not actually written by John Rich.
Sep 29, 2010
Sep 28, 2010
RGR: Two Cow Garage - Sweet Saint Me
Two Cow Garage's new album Sweet Saint Me hits digital outlets and cooler music stores October 26th (I'll remind you!!) and, to use a sports cliche, it's a beast. 2CG is a loud, sweaty, snarling alt-country outfit who blend punk, country, pop and bar rock in with some of the catchiest melodies and smartest lyrics you'll ever hear out a band of this ilk. With Sweet Saint Me, the boys play us (thankfully) more of the same, though brought into greater clarity with more songwriting prowess than they've exhibited on records past. The hooks are sharper, the themes more focused and there just seems to be a greater heft to the work this time around.
There's not an insignificant track to be found, so I'll just point out my early favorites (which will likely change because Sweet Saint Me is a big-time grower). The first single, however, is far from a grower. Lydia (official video here) grabs you immediately with its its insanely memorable chorus and its knife edge lyrics about an intergenerational romance:
"Lydia, you're much too young
to have your teeth on the tip of my tongue
If just your lips were a little bit older"
The very next song, Jackson, Don't You Worry, is a loving note to a bandmate's son about the difficulties of being a dad whose occupation keeps him on the road 200+ days a year. It's reassuring but heartbreaking and completely real. I dare you not to be moved.
My Great Gatsby is a treatise on the state of our culture and music in particular. Touching on great works of song and literature, it's an unflinching look at the demise of art in a day of greed.
"DJs are making records, could you please just be ashamed
of your raping and your pillaging of this thing we love?"
I'm not sure if (main lead singer) Micah here boldly proclaims this album "my Great Gatsby" but I won't say he'd necessarily be wrong.
Sweet Saint Me is a special album, long on emotion and absent of pretense; it sounds like they buzzed on inspiration and burned from labor to show us who they are. If Two Cow Garage doesn't break as big as an indie-rock/alt-country band can possibly break with this kickass album, it won't be for lack of giving us all they've got.
RIYL: Bruce Springsteen, The Replacements, Lucero, Drive-by Truckers, The Gaslight Anthem, The Hold Steady, Uncle Tupelo, Drag the River, Javi Garcia.
Free download of opening song "Sally I've Been Shot" here.
Larry Lee the Primitive Baptist Reviews
Hello there, readers of this vulgar and infernal blog. I have been invited by Trailer to give my perspective on some secular country music songs. I prayed long and hard about putting my name alongside posts that mention "douchebagging" and use the s-word and the b-word. For shame! These are affronts to the very spirit of holiness. Still, I feel as though I might provide a healthy look at this vile form of music and lead some of you to the light. While my church does not use musical instruments, in my free time I do listen to music with instruments, such as gospel, southern gospel, country gospel and gospel bluegrass. Let's us see how these two songs stack up!
Hank Williams Jr. - Family Tradition
I hate to even dignify this vile trash with a summary. Obviously the nut does not fall far from the rotten hickory tree. In this case, the vulgar drunkard was begat by a vulgar philandering drunkard. "Bocephus" as he is known by his "rowdy friends," tells us of his unseemly lifestyle of a'drinkin', a'druggin', a'screwin' everything that walks. His justification? These "virtues" were passed down to him from his dope fiend father. I believe this to be an excuse. I also reckon that the lack of a male parent, after Hank Sr.'s shameful death, left a void in his life that Bocephus believed could only be filled by narcotics, non-marital vagina and the Devil's liquor. I have not heard of this much lechery since my third son, Larry Jay's bachelor party, for which is still disallowed from Turnage family reunions. Hank Jr. needs the Lord Jesus Christ in his soul, not some hoochie coo on his lap and a mary wanna in his hand. I implore you to avoid this evil, evil "song" and instead seek out the new cassette tape from the Gospel Fire of Purity Echos entitled "This Day I Shall Turn From Sin." Praise the Lord!
F
Lady Antebellum - Hello World
This hit threesome's new song would seem to most to be a quiet reflection on faith and man's difficulty keeping his bearings in an unforgiving world. Most would be dead wrong. This, my friends, is a demon in sheep's clothing, a viper in the rose bush. The lines "talk to God like He is there" reveal the writer's true hellish intentions. Nevermind that Charles Kelley says "I know He's there" a line later, the previous confession is enough for me to know that this song is part of the liberal left's agenda to rid America of any and all belief in the one true savior Jesus Christ so that Allah might sit at the head of the table. The Obama administration's fingerprints are all over this song! They can't just come out and say "There is no God but Allah" because there would be chaos in the streets of Jackson, TN... no, they have to be subtle about their hate of the God of Israel, chipping away at our resolve until we are bowing to Mecca and covering up Aunt Linda with a veil (though the latter might be a good thing). The fact that the singer knows he should stop at the church with "white crosses...in the yard" but doesn't is symbolic of this once great nation's descent into worldliness and sin. We know we should return to the teachings of our fathers, but we choose discord, we choose Muslimness. I pray for Lady Antebellum and hope that they will repent and use their talents for Jesus!
F
Sep 27, 2010
Country Doppelgängers 8
It has often been said that James Otto looks like a Geico Caveman. Here's proof. (Note: Rita had this one last week, but I already this doppler created so... great minds think alike)
Pat Green and Troy Aikman. That's pretty eerie. Thanks Nashville Gab!
Steve Azar, singer of "I Don't Have to Be Me (Til Monday)" and the current hit "Sunshine," looks a helluva lot like Thaao Phenghlis, who is probably best remembered as Tony DiMera from Days of Our Lives.
Josh Turner and James Marsden.
Emily West, (or is that Sarah Buxton???) in this particular instance, looks a lot like Twisted Sister lead singer & Gone Country contestant, Dee Snider.
Sorry Aaron, but yeah... it's the Village People construction worker for you.
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