Monday Morning Memes: ACMs, Chase Rice, Luke Bryan

Thanks to John Deery for this one!

ACMs 2014: Snarky Twitter Wrap-up

2014 ACMs in a nutshell: Justin Moore won an award he wasn't eligible for, Merle Haggard was honored, Florida-Georgia Line bro-ed it up and won Best Duo, King George won Entertainer of the Year, few females performed. Also, there were lots of great comments on Twitter:

Here's What Luke Bryan's Merch Manager Had to Say About Strait's EOY Win

Before he deleted the Tweet...

Update: Hunter Jobes has now deleted his account completely.

ACM Awards 2014 Drinking Game

Awkward Gary Levox Photo of the Week

Sunday Mornin' Music: DC Talk

Country Doppelgängers: Brantley Gilbert & Chase Rice

The resemblance is staggering.

Saturday Night Music: Allman Brothers

From the Archives: Top 10 Country Song Remixes That Will Never Happen

ORIGINALLY POSTED OCT 28, 2009

In light of Colt Ford's "Fat Shan Remix" of Joe Nichols' "Tequila Makes Her Clothes Fall Off," FTM takes a look at country song remixes/reworkings that will never see the light of day.

Top 10 Country Song Remixes That Will Never Happen

10. George Jones - "High Tech Redneck 2010" (ft. T-Pain)

09. Taylor Swift - "You Belong With Me" (Autotune Duet with Kanye West)

08. Hank Williams - "I'll Never Get Out of This World Alive" (EarlyGrave Remix w/Tupac)

07. Willie Nelson & Lil Wayne - "To All the Ho's I've Loved Before"

06. Drew Kennedy - "Good Things" (Phillies Suck Remix w/Colt Ford)

05. Dixie Chicks - "Cowboy Troy, Take Me Away" (w/Cowboy Troy)

04. Johnny Cash - "I Walk the Line" (featuring Snoop Dogg)

Say What? It did happen? Oh. :(

03. Eminem w/Carrie Underwood - "Stan, Don't Take the Wheel"

02. Rascal Flatts - "Bob That Head/Hey We Want Some -----" (w/2 Live Crew)

01. Waylon Jennings - "Are You Sure Hank Done It This Way" ("F It All" Swizz Beatz Remix)

YouTube Gems: The Wood Brothers - I Got Loaded

Brad Paisley's New Single Cover Revealed

So That's Sturgill Simpson's New Album Cover...

Thanks to @TheJackalopeTX for spurring the idea!

Sunday Night, You Have a Choice to Make

This Song Sucks: Jerrod Niemann - Drink to That All Night

Your Opinion is Bad and You Should Feel Bad

Actual reply from Facebook. Only the blur and red circle were added.

Somewhere In Nashville Right Now...

Somewhere In Nashville Right Now...

A songwriter is rewriting a verse so he can fit "my bae" into the song.

Looks are winning out over talent - @Mando_lines

A former folk band hopeful is shaving his beard into a douchebag goatee.

A Luke Bryan fan just hit puberty - ‏‪@redonkulousD‬

Keith Anderson is loading the UPS truck for his morning run.

Marilyn Manson is cutting his first country single, Tailgating in Hell.

Tim Mcgraw and Kenny Chesney are being classified as "Classic Country" - @pug6994

Scott Borchetta is signing the first "bro-grass" band.

Some dearly departed country legend actually digs the new Jerrod Niemann song

and is NOT rolling in his grave.

I'm eating a peanut butter sandwich - @ToddFarrellJr

Someone is writing one of the most beautiful and inspired country songs of all time (that will be never be heard on country radio).

Rhett Akins is writing a country-rap song about John Anderson.

A man is putting zebra striped spandex under ripped jeans looking himself

in the mirror and saying THAT'S COUNTRY right thar. - @xray_don66

A producer is trying to figure out where to put the bass drop in a hot new country band's debut song.

----------------

Thanks to Twitter pals for helping out!

New Video: Brandy Clark - Get High

Honest Radio Promo Ad: Tyler Farr is Redneck Crazier

Texas Regional Radio Report: March 2002

New Video: The Hold Steady - Spinners (Lyrics)

From their awesome new album Teeth Dreams, here's The Hold Steady with the lyric video for "Spinners." RIYL: Gaslight Anthem, Lucero, Titus Andronicus, etc.

Best Albums of 2014 So Far: 1/4 Report

Subject to change, one of these hasn't been released yet, blah blah disclaimers...

1. Lydia Loveless - Somewhere Else

2. Drive-by Truckers - English Oceans

3. Jimbo Mathus - Dark Night of the Soul

4. St. Paul and the Broken Bones - Half the City

5. Beck - Morning Phase

6. Jason Eady - Daylight and Dark

7. Josh Nolan - Fair City Lights

8. Whiskey Myers - Early Morning Shakes

9. Red Eye Gravy - Dust Bowl Hangover

10. Chad Sullins and the Last Call Coalition - Wicked Spell

11. Jeff Whitehead - Bloodhound Heart

12. The Bigsbys - Good Will Suitcase

13. Lake Street Dive - Bad Self Portraits

14. Those Crosstown Rivals - Hell and Back

15. Hard Working Americans - s/t

16. Rosanne Cash - The River & The Thread

17. Mat D and the Profane Saints - Holyoke

18. Water Liars - s/t

19. Robert Ellis - The Lights From the Chemical Plant

20. Sharon Jones and the Dap-Kings - Give the People What They Want

Lyrics Illustrated: Jerrod Niemann - Drink to That All Night

This Song Sucks: Cole Swindell - Chillin' It

Ain't Much Country (In That Town)

I wrote this lyric 12 years ago (!) but the complaints are still pretty much all the same now. 

Ain't Much Country (In That Town) I ran off to Nashville with a guitar and a smile Barlights in my eyes, I planned to pluck around awhile Folks back home all told me that I had that Nashville sound But soon as I hit Music Row, to my dismay I found Ain't much country in that town Ain’t much heart, it's all been sold Ain't no cowboys 'neath the hats And no true stories to be told It's love songs by the numbers With no twangin’ hangin’ round Ol' Hank's left the building Ain't much country in that town I played a writer’s night, chose a cheatin’ song or two A pretty boy pulled me aside, said ‘Boy what’s wrong with you?” Don’t you know they want to hear the happy side of things And you might wanna cut that accent next time that you sing I thought he was kidding, till I checked the radio All I heard were rock songs with some fiddles played real low Every song was happy, every singer was in love And suddenly I realized I wasn’t fake enough (Repeat Chorus) I came back from Nashville with a headache and a debt Feet back on the ground, I left that town with no regret Folks around all told me I should give it one more try But I just shook my head and laughed, and gladly told ‘em why (Repeat Chorus) Bridge A couple of George’s might drop by and Alan Jackson still lingers Takin’ up those token spots as the last real country singers (Repeat Chorus) ---------------- Optional last verse: I came back from Nashville with a habit and a frown Bottle in my hand, I planned to let it let me down Folks back home all told me that I had to try again I’d as soon bash in my head while pissin’ in the wind ‘Cause... (Chorus) ©2002 Corey Parkman