Jan 7, 2020

When You Drop Her Off Early


  1. Ah, yes. "Chattahoochee" by the Alan Jackson AKA the Nickelback of country music. The same guy that invented bro-country and ushered in the various non-country sounds that traditionalists (like me) correctly criticize due to lack of similarity to traditional country music. And of course, Jackson's destruction of country music snowballed first into crap acts like Luke Bryan, Florida Georgia Line, Kane Brown, Sam Hunt, Thomas Rhett, and Dan + Shay, and then into those knuckleheads scoring extremely successful number one hits with non-country artists (more on that later). And in "Chattahoochee" (like with Jackson's other piece of shit hits like "Where I Come From", "Country Boy", and "Jim and Jack and Hank"), Jackson's bro-country tendencies are out in full force, with the song being cratered with bro-country cliches like moonlight, beer, hot girls, river banks, and house parties. And as is the par for Jackson and his bro-country cohorts, the song is barely country besides that token steel guitar, which adds only a thin countryish facade to an otherwise pop rock and hair metal influenced record. I would also like to note that it is very interesting that Jackson's face is pasted over that of Drake's, given that Jackson is heavily influenced by Drake's style of R&B and has also covered one of Drake's songs in concert ("Make Me Proud") along with several other hip-hop and R&B songs (alongside an ABBA song for whatever non-country reason), specifically
    * Akon - Don't Matter
    * Wiz Khalifa - We Dem Boyz ( video here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QFOtWpul3ZY )
    * Soulja Boy - Turn My Swag On
    * Future - Mask Off
    * Flo Rida - Whistle
    * T.I. - Whatever You Like
    * Big Sean ft. Nicki Minaj - Dance (A$$)
    * Lil Wayne - Love Me
    * Waka Flocka Flame - Hard in da Paint
    * Shaquille O'Neal - (I Know I Got) Skillz
    * ABBA - Super Trouper
    * Fetty Wap - Jugg
    Anyone who thinks that Alan Jackson is a traditional country artist is truly misinformed. Thanks to this "traditional country artist", bro-country still reigning on country radio (don't get me wrong, there are still good artists like Luke Combs, Jon Pardi, Eric Church, and Chris Stapleton) and even worse, various non-country artists who would otherwise have no respect for real country are gaining so much prominence within the genre. For example, bro-country act Florida Georgia Line was able to beat the record for the longest number one country song twice by collaborating with a non-country artist, first with rapper Nelly on a remix of their hit "Cruise" and then with pop singer Bebe Rexha for her song "Meant to Be", with the two songs setting a record for the longest running number one country song at 24 and 50 weeks, respectively. Similarly, at the moment, pop superstar Justin Bieber's collaboration bro-country act and Rascal Flatts knockoff Dan + Shay sits at the number one spot, which it has done so since the week of October 19th last year, making it likely that Bieber will top fellow pop singer Bebe Rexha's aforementioned record of 50 weeks. If this is the case, then this will mean that two bro-country acts, along with two pop stars, will hold the two longest running number one country songs. All the apocalyptic aftermath of what Alan Jackson (the Nickelback of country music) did to this genre.

  2. He didn't ruin country music you bozo