Mar 17, 2022

Top 10 Traits for Getting a Country Record Deal 2022


10. A built in audience of TikTok fans you duped into thinking you were talented


9. A gym membership


8. Generic, character-free male country voice


7. Willingness to be an opening act forever (females)


6. Willingness to be a headliner with your own bus right out of the gate (males)


5. Ability to politely say nothing with many words, when asked about a serious topic in an interview


4. Strong knowledge of hair care techniques, including advanced shampoo and condition, heat protection, volumizer, mousse, and shine serum


3. Have large or new family and only talk about them ever and nothing else


2. Musical inspirations must include at least 3 of the following: 21 Pilots, John Mayer, Lil Wayne, Drake, Ariana Grande, Sugar Ray, Kanye, Keith Urban, Imagine Dragons, Taylor Swift (pop era).


1. Be boring as dry dog shit


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