|Courtney Wilhelm, liar|
In pursuit of truth, Farce the Music reviewed every song (53,297) Wilhelm played on Spotify since that fateful tweet and discovered that she did not, in fact, listen to every other genre. Among the styles of music not represented in her listening habits were folktronica, hypnagogic pop, progressive sludge metal, crunkcore, aggrotech, deep psychobilly, unblack metal, and post-alt-country.
When confronted with her own lies, Wilhelm was shaken. “Who the hell are you and why do you care what I listen to? This is weird,” she tweeted back at us when I showed her the statistics. “Leave me alone, freak.”
According to our thorough research, Ms. Wilhelm’s musical tastes were almost entirely in the realms of commercial pop music with occasional forays into indie rock (she seemed to be engaged in an off and on relationship with a hipstery looking gentleman during these times, but we weren’t stalking her or anything). Nary a time did she sample any of the following genres: Simpsons hip-hop, Genericana, dark cabaret, intersex EDM, catstep, fishing metal, vegan straight edge, or harmonica drone. This perjury must not stand.
When asked again to explain herself regarding the 2017 tweet, Wilhelm blocked us, clearly feeling the guilt of her fraud. She also took her Spotify account entirely private, but not before we caught another misstep, a quick listen to Taylor Swift’s debut album. While we’d argue with you all day long about whether it’s real country or not, Swift’s first release was clearly marketed as ‘country.’ Another damn lie from Courtney; when will it end?
I used a burner Twitter account to further question her regarding this latest revelation and the growing mountain of untruths she was piling up. Her response? Reported and blocked. Also, a local police officer just called to ask that I refrain from contacting Ms. Wilhelm in any way, so it appears this rapscallion will not meet her comeuppance.
At press time, I was harassing a teenager who tweeted that he only likes new country and rappers who sing instead of rapping.