.99 Review - Jessica Harp

Jessica Harp - Boy Like Me

The People's Take

Boy Like Me (5 Stars) – SOOOOOO EXCITED to finally hear a Jessica Harp solo song!! The CD will absolutely be one of the best country radio has heard!! Can't wait for more to come!!
-#1Tay

(They're all like this)

My Take
Landing, sonically, in the exact center-point between Taylor Swift and Gretchen Wilson but more on the Gretchen side lyrically, the lesser known half of The Wreckers' first single is a surprisingly worthy affair. While not groundbreaking in its sound, the attitude displayed here is a little edgier than most of what you'll hear coming out of Nashville's fairer gender. Basically, she's not really a bad girl, just the kind that likes boys who chase girls like that... and if that makes her a bad girl, so be it. Got that? Good, neither do I, but it's a fun song and a welcome respite from all the goody goody Taylor and Martina in constant rotation. Soundwise, you might not know this was a country track if she didn't twang a few obvious words... drankin', for one.... This fits squarely into the current Clearchannel sound. It's one of the better of that genre, though. She's got a good voice and I got more than I expected here... perhaps Harp has a future in this biz. Her debut single is probably going to be a hit and I'll probably get utterly sick of it and knock a quarter off its value, but for now....
Total value: .74/.99
(back to the fun, negative .99 reviews next week!)

The Checklist
Church/God
Mama
Boots
Name Dropping
Dying Person
County Fair
Lost Love
Love
Hometown Pride
Kindly Advice
Truck
Whiskey
Beer (Drinking)
Life Affirmation
USA
Soldiers
Pop Sheen
Star Power

.99 Review - Keith Urban

This is a little late since this is knocking on the door of the top 10 and all, but here ya go...

Keith Urban - Sweet Thing

The People's Take
Keith's Sweet Thing (4 Stars) – Yes, girls keith was probably writing & singing about the newest sweet thing in his life. SUNDAY ROSE, his brand new daughter..... Oh well we can only wish that he is singing this great song to one of us girls....LOL
-bshimoura

Good but still not as good as pre-Pain, Love and the Whole Crazy thing. (3 Stars) – I like it but only about as good as Once in a Lifetime and could be so much more creative. The chorus is incredibly catchy and back to Urban's old country-self but the beginning is a complete ri-off.
A. Listen to the drum intro of "I Told you so", It is exactly the same as "Sweet Thing".
B. What is with the talking for everything but the chorus? I mean seriously you've been working on this for two years and you could only think of a melody for the chorus? I expected so much better. That is the reason it didn't get #1 on the charts.
Please somebody give me back the singer who used to sing amazing #1 hits like "Better Life" and "Tonight I wanna cry". I hear it in there it is just hiding.
-Ricky Suave

He is the sweetest thing from Georgia to Tennesee (5 Stars) – I think Keith and his music are the best thing in the whole world, he rocks so much!
Keep it up as the days go by.
-Duncan Kane


My Take
Welcome to Urban country. Rocking guitar, addictive hook, up-tempo tune, chick-friendly lyrics, a little plucking banjo so it qualifies as country. There you have it... the formula for a successful Keith Urban song. So do I like it? Well... yes. It's a great driving song and I found myself tapping my foot and singing along (making sure no one was looking - I don't live by the "dance like no one's watching" axiom) by the third play. I'm a snooty alt-country, traditional country and indie rock fan so I shouldn't like this (or admit it if I do)... but I dig it. It's completely unoriginal and it's perfect Clearchannel background music... but it's so well done. It's a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, but one made with fresh Sara Lee white bread, crunchy Jif, the sweetest grape jelly and served with a big glass of cold milk. The Checklist isn't really necessary this time - Keith songs are hits, period - but we'll use it anyway. Hey, my first "positive" Ninety-nine Cent Review!

Total value: .84/.99






















The Checklist
Church/God
Mama
Boots
Name Dropping
Dying Person
County Fair
Lost Love
Love
Hometown Pride
Kindly Advice
Truck
Whiskey
Beer
Life Affirmation
USA
Soldiers
Pop Sheen
Star Power

.99 Review - Eric Church

.99 Review
Eric Church - Love Your Love the Most

The People's Take
THIS SONG IS GREAT (5 Stars) – IF THIS SONG ISNT A HIT, THEN YOUR NOT COUNTRY
-M-88

I'd expect better from Eric (2 Stars) – As much as I love Eric Church's music and would recomend it to anyone, I hate this song. It's a copy of "I love my old bird dog (and I love you too)." Whoever thought a girl would like being told that "I love nascar, but I love you the most" would make a girl swoon was very wrong. I would certainly hope you love your girl more than you love nascar....
-Country Girl 93

My Take
Well, this is a kick in the balls. I was counting on Eric, whose debut album is one of my favorite commercial country releases in recent years, to be my first positive ".99 Review," but alas. Church is grinding hard for another hit, or at least some airplay, and it shows. Boy does it show. My stomach turned just three lines into the song as I realized Eric was listing, and I don't mean like a ship. Eric listed mama's cooking. Eric listed boots. Eric listed beer. Eric listed Nascar. I almost expected him to start listing his favorite list songs after a while. Now that's an idea for a song! The only redeeming factors in this tune are Eric's voice and the hope that maybe, just maybe, he is actually satirizing this type of song. Or maybe his mention of "Faulkner books" gave me a false impression of his intelligence. "Love Your Love the Most" rates an amazing 8 on "The Checklist," but only thirty-four cents on the value chart.

Total value: .34/.99























The Checklist

Church/God
Mama
Boots
Name Dropping
Dying Person
County Fair
Lost Love
Love
Hometown Pride
Kindly Advice
Truck
Whiskey
Beer
Life Affirmation
USA
Soldiers
Pop Sheen
Star Power

.99 Review - JR

To reiterate...This is a new feature...I'll buy a single from the featured/new section of the country genre on iTunes, post some select unedited "reviews" from iTunes buyers (The People's Take) then give my own quick, strange review (My Take) with a value rating (x/.99), plus an occasional Photocrapped single cover and a handy, dandy Hit Country Song Checklist.

.99 Review
John Rich - Another You

The People's Take
Not Hardly (3 Stars) – ok so i love Big n Rich but not just Rich...lost in this moment was good but when he is by himself there is no magic...sorry Rich
-BayBay2121

woahh (4 Stars) – his voice is ahhhmazing :D i lovee himm. this sonnng is greattt!
-Chels-E

?? (3 Stars) – where is the other guy
-musky81

STOP WHINING (4 Stars) – THIS SONG IS BOOTY BUT AS LONG AS OBAMA THINKS HE WILL BE BETTER THAN THE LAST GUY OLD WHATS HIS FACE...
-AZMAN2208

My Take
Like 90% of you, I'm not fond of the mustachioed, egotistical, bottle-wielding "genius," John Rich, but I must recognize the fact that he's written and co-written some of the best... errr, biggest hits Nashville's put out in recent years. Like Akon in hip hop music, John Rich is ubiquitous; you can't read The 9513 or Country California or flip on CMT without seeing that grinning mug or hearing about that almighty master of hype daily. He's done reality TV, he's done Big & Rich, he's done jailbait, he's done bar fights. Here, he steps away from the underachieving Big & Rich and does the first single from his second solo album. The verdict: stick to the ho's. John's thin voice can't begin to carry this country-pop power ballad that never really takes flight because of it. Keith Anderson has a similarly thin voice, but manages to pull off his ballads fairly well because his voice at least has some grit and personality to it. Without Big Kenny's contrasting deep drawl, John's just another singer and this is just another song. Oddly enough, this sounds like a tune Lonestar might have recorded... after John left the group (and just an album track at that). Perhaps in the hands of a singer with a more distinctive voice, this might be affecting. As it stands, it's a slightly below average performance of a song that is utterly unmemorable. An additional 5 cents are deducted for rhyming "world" and "girl."

Total value: .20/.99























The Checklist (w/two new categories)
(4 or more checks indicates a higher probability of this being a hit song)

Church/God
Mama
Boots
Name Dropping
Dying Person
County Fair
Lost Love
Love
Hometown Pride
Kindly Advice
Truck
Whiskey
Beer
Life Affirmation
USA
Soldiers
Pop Sheen
Star Power

.99 Review

This is a new feature Farce the Music will post 2-3 times a month. I'll buy a single from the featured/new section of the country genre on iTunes, post some select unedited "reviews" from iTunes buyers (The People's Take) then give my own quick, strange review (My Take) with a value rating (x/.99), plus an occasional Photocrapped single cover and a handy, dandy Hit Country Song Checklist. I suppose this will become the $1.29 Review in April when iTunes changes up their pricing, but .99 Review is catchier. Anyway, here's the first installment.

Jason Michael Carroll - Where I'm From

The People's Take
Amazing (5 Stars) - he has such a great voice and always makes the best muxic.
-twilightOBSESSED<3

Too bad for Patrick Davis (5 Stars) - Patrick Davis recorded a better version.
-J Poppadopolous

Original is better, but still solid (4 Stars) - This was originally written by a guy from South Carolina named Patrick Davis, his version is a little more raw, but has a better sound. Still a very solid song though.
-redsoxgamecock

Patrick Davis is one of the best song writers of our time (5 Stars) - ...Patrick is amazing guy and singer/songwriter. Id look for him more in the coming years...
-music madness

My Take
The performance and instrumentals are all good and well, but the lyrics... the lyrics. I very nearly yacked at least twice during this song: after the cancer revelation, my eyes watered for the wrong reason and at the bridge, I tasted ham and biscuit from breakfast. I suppose I appreciate the sentiment - I'm fond of the memories of my backwoods hometown too - but if I hear another "proud of my upbringing" song, my head may blow off. What a waste of 9.9% of my Christmas iTunes gift card. I know nothing's new under the CO2, but please. Did we need another of these? Survey says NO. At least, not when they're this cliche and contrived.

Value Rating: .28/.99






















Hit Country Song Checklist
(4 or more checks indicates a higher probability of this being a hit song)
Church
Mama
Boots
Name Dropping
Dying Person
County Fair
Lost Love
Love
Hometown Pride
Kindly Advice
Truck
Whiskey
Beer
Life Affirmation
USA
Soldiers