Paul Simon Parody

50 Ways to Leave Your Cousin
(Parody of Paul Simon’s “50 Ways to Leave Your Lover”)

I reckon it’s all in your damn head, she said so sweet
The answer ain’t crap if you’re thinkin’ logic’ly
I’m gonna hook you up in your journey to get free
You know there’s 50 ways to leave your cousin

She said you know my habit is menthol Kools
But I ain’t blowin’ smoke up your butt when I whisper to you
I’ma say it again, Jasper you ain’t no fool
Yeah boy, there’s 50 ways to leave your cousin

Skip the doublewide, Clyde
Get a new girl, Earl
Gonna be okay, Ray
I’m tellin’ the truth
Crank up the truck, Buck
Don’t need to say bye, Ty
Ya’ heard what I said, Jed
Go bust yerself loose

She said it rurns my day to hear you bitch and complain
Said she could do that thing with her tongue to make me smile again
I said I’d be obliged
And baby, please tell me ‘bout them 50 ways

She said, why don’t we just get tore down tonight
You’ll figure it out by the mornin’ when we watch Price is Right
Then she dropped her spandex drawers, lit a Kool and I saw the light
There must be 50 ways to leave your cousin
50 ways to leave your cousin

Just run out the shack, Jack
Through the kudzu, Lou
Don’t need to think twice, Mike
I wouldn’t lie to you
Jump in the creek, Zeke
She’s too close of kin, Lynn
So whatever it takes, Jake
Go bust yerself loose