Jun 9, 2015

Best of the Worst: Florida-Georgia Line

This begins a new series where we'll count down the 5 best songs from FTM's least favorite artists. This serves the dual purpose of once again illustrating that we're not completely biased (because the song is still the most important thing in country music), while still giving us a soapbox for talking trash in wondering why these artists can't be this good all the time (or anymore, as the case may be). First worst artist: Florida-Georgia Line.

 Florida-Georgia Line

1. Dirt
I've already spoken of my love of this song in this review. I went back and listened to it again today, wondering if I'd had some sort of rogue state that made me believe and speak nonsense when this song came out. But no, I still like the tune. Sure, there's a sliding scale these days and my standards for mainstream country are much, much lower than they were say 15 years ago, but "Dirt" just feels like the one time real emotion and honest story-telling burst forth from a couple of rubes who'd rather stick to the tropes of bro-topia. "Drift a cloud" sounds ridiculous in the context, because nothing else in the song is so poetic, but there's little to complain about with this song. Brian Kelley's lone moment in the sun singing the second verse is even a positive here. It's just a good song, no asterisk needed. Was it a fluke? Will they ever create something even adequate again? Time will tell.

2. Headphones
Pure guilty pleasure. This song contains all the things that make me hate 98% of Tyler and Brian's other songs, and it's in no way country, but for some reason I can't help but dig it. Maybe it's the fairly simple back-beat and easy going demeanor, the nearly-clever theme, or some unexplainable "it" factor, but this is a catchy tune I just can't hate. The likeliest reason for my enjoyment of this random bonus tune from the expanded edition of FGL's first album, Here's to the Good Times, is that the sun shines on a dog's balls once in a while.

3. I suppose I'd slot "Stay" at this number since it's a nearly tolerable cover of a band I like, but to be perfectly honest - and I don't say this for effect or to maintain some level of music snob cred (hell, I like hair metal and Hootie so my indie cred is questionable at best) - I truly don't enjoy any other songs Florida-Georgia Line has recorded or released to this point, besides those first two I mentioned. "Dirt" shows they can appeal to me at a very real level. "Headphones" proves they can do "guilty pleasure," but nothing else they've been a part of is even remotely interesting to me. They are as vapid and predictable as the Kardashians. Do better, Brian and Tyler.

4. n/a

5. n/a


  1. For me, "Tip It Back" is a guilty pleasure. I know there's a ton of dumb tropes they use in the song, but there's just something endearing, to me, about the "blow off some steam from a long work week" song.

  2. This is a great idea. I agree with this list, and I'd add "Confession" (guilty pleasure) and "Black Tears" from their first EP (the vocals aren't great, but overall it's a good song IMO).

  3. "Confession" would rate as my #2. I actually think despite the cluttered production in the chorus, it has a decent enough idea going in the verses and the lyrics also have some picturesque imagery. I wouldn't mind if that is ultimately a single.

    I'll also say "Tip It Back" and "Hell Raisin' Heat of the Summer" were two tracks off their debut LP that show when they temper the obnoxious volume down, their party songs can be enjoyable enough. The former has a nice melody and plenty of energy despite the cliches, and the latter may have some lousy production but I can respect their attempt at a more sentimental/semi-melancholic tinged youth anthem.

    Have to disagree with you entirely on "Stay", however. That was the worst single from their debut LP, in my opinion, because of the terribly hilarious lyricism.

  4. Well, "Stay" is only half-heartedly penciled in as my #3. It does have awful lyrics and I'd only go so far as to say I wouldn't turn it if it came on the radio. Black Stone Cherry's original at least gave it more urgency with the heavier rock sound, but FGL's version is still fairly tolerable for me.

  5. Church Pews or Barstools by Aldean is a decent cut.



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