Satirical Lyrical: I Don't Like New Things

I Don't Like New Things

©2011 FTM Satire

I hate new fangled technology

Twitter is what blackbirds do in a tree

And Facebook is my church's directory

Don't need YouTube, I've got the cable TV

Chorus

The Google is what babies say

I don't buy on-line, I use layaway

VHS is best so screw Blu-Ray

Keep your videos of cats who sing

I don't like new things

Call me old fashioned if you will

My favorite handheld's from a whiskey still

And Blackberries grow on a sticker bush

And I buy Hustler to see naked tush

Oh, the Google is what babies say

And Tom-Tom don't tell me the way

I hand 'em cash if my pals need pay

It better be pong if you wanna ping

I don't like new things

Bridge

My phone's still got a curly cord

The post office is my message board

My silent dishwasher's also my wife

Don't need no Wi-fi in my life

Oh, the Google is what babies say

Got a Co-op, I don't need eBay

And iPad that sounds pretty strange

I don't buy shit from Beijing

I don't like new things