From the Archives: My Hometown Sucks

FROM MAY 28, 2009

My Hometown Sucks

(Lyrical Satirical)

Went back to visit for a few days

Where I’m from, smalltown USA

I pulled in as that big ol’ warm sun fell

Felt a feeling coming over me

Not quite sentimentality

My stomach turned from that old familiar smell

My hometown sucks

My hometown sucks

I miss it like a kick in the nuts

My hometown sucks

My hometown sucks

It's a charming mix of hicks in trucks

So much for nostalgia

I don’t know about ya

But my hometown sucks

Every corner you can cash a check

The potholed streets will make you wreck

And Walmart's the only store that's left in town

The kids cook meth on Saturday nights

The quickstop just sells Natty Light

And the homecoming queen, she weighs three hundred pounds

My hometown sucks

My hometown sucks

Drive down mainstreet, you might get mugged

My hometown sucks

My hometown sucks

If you say hoedown, the girls all duck

So much for nostalgia

I don’t know about ya

But my hometown sucks

Bridge

Sure the pace of life is slower

But so is the pace of mind

It's no wonder we always used to drink ourselves blind

Cause my hometown sucks

My hometown sucks

The mayor's a lush, the council's corrupt

My hometown sucks

My hometown sucks

It's a charming mix of hicks in trucks

So much for nostalgia

I don’t know about ya

But my hometown sucks

©2009 FTM Satires

(for the record, my hometown actually holds a nice place in my memory and is a lovely locale with all the bingo hall fights and check cashing establishments you could ever ask for)