From the Archives: "Ball Peen Hammer" (Aldean Parody)

ORIGINALLY POSTED AUG 30, 2009

Jason Aldean Lyric Parody

Ball-Peen Hammer

(Parody of Jason Aldean's "Big Green Tractor")

Was out shopping with my wife one Saturday,

The country station on in our Chevrolet

The girls were all shrieking, cutesy and pop,

And the dudes were slangin', brangin' the rock,

They played a Reba song, and it sounded "Strange"

But the straw that broke the camel's back was "That Thang"

When shoppin' was done, we'd planned to see a show

But I said "I'd rather go to Home Depot"

Gonna hit myself hard with a ball-peen hammer

Hell, my IQ can't drop any faster,

These tunes are crappy as turds in the pasture,

To radio execs, it really don't matter,

Long as they sell ads and please soccer moms too

They don't care bout the hell country's gone to

I think those idjits should be put in the slammer

Or I'll hit myself hard with a ball-peen hammer

Said Waylon's cold in his grave but he's rolling around,

This bling and auto-tuner's got him down,

Folks try to stay hip, but these days hip-hop sucks,

It's so two-thousand late to be singin' about butts

Gonna hit myself hard with a ball-peen hammer

Hell, my IQ can't drop any faster,

These tunes are crappy as turds in the pasture,

To radio execs, it really don't matter,

Long as they sell ads and please Nascar dads too

They don't care bout the hell country's gone to

I think those jerkoffs should be put in the slammer

Or I'll hit myself hard with a ball-peen hammer

Dance remixes and sappy teens,

Hank would be thankful he didn't live to see,

This day,

Long as they sell ads and please soccer moms too

They don't care bout the hell country's gone to

I think those morons should be put in the slammer

Or I'll hit myself hard with a ball-peen hammer

Oh no no,

Please just turn it down,

Or I'll put an end to this frown,

With a ball-peen hammer.