Originally Posted Aug 16, 2012
OMG Reviews: Taylor Swift - We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together
by Brittany Fant, 14-year-old aspiring reviewer
I had like
honestly been getting sick of Taylor Swift lately. Her song on The
Hunger Games was sooo, um, old-timey sounding. Ugh. This is more like it
girl!!!!!! For y'all that don't know, I'm single again and this is my
song! The chorus has the best lyrics EVARRRRR. And it doesn't sound like
crappy old person music. Bravo, Ms. Swift! Or should I say, Mrs.
Kennedy? lolz That would be so awesome. Then she could be vice
president! I'm a Swiftie again, I admit it. It's like she read my mind
or something for this song. And that album cover - she. looks. hot. It's
like a Revlon commercial or something. She broke up with a dude who
listens to indie music. Good for her!!!! The only people who listen to
music that isn't on the radio are losers who are jealous of real talent.
This makes me so glad to be flying solo again! Boys always say they'll
change but they never do. All they want is one thing!!! That one thing
is to play video games with their friends and that's lame. Anyway,
Hunter Hayes, I'm on the market again baby!!!!!!!!! Call me! This song
rulezzzz.
5 Heart Hands!
Larry Lee the Primitive Baptist Reviews: Taylor Swift - We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together
What is this?
Is this a Hip-Hoppin' song? I don't know what's going on. It sounds like
one of the young girls in my church's youth group singing in one of our
(non-dancing) musicals. Except those girls sound better. And they don't
"rap" (rap is an abomination to the ears of God). And they glorify the
Lord with their gifts.
All this Taylor
Swift girl is doing is whining about some puppy love affair that broke
up. Children should not be able to date until they are 18 anyway, so
this seems right on the border of sinfulness that she was being courted
by a young fellow anyway. What if they had necked and fallen short of
the Lord's grace?
The young man
who dumped Ms. Swift is to be applauded for his actions. Proverbs 31:3
says not to give your strength to women. Anyone who "went out" with this
girl would certainly be at the mercy of her money and career and we all
know that the man is to rule the roost. My wife knows I wear the
polyester slacks in this house, even if she does have to match my shirts
and ties for me. I have astigmatism.
I see no real
perversions or slights against the heavenly Father in this "song" but
the song itself does not glorify Him. It sounds like she sang into an
empty can of succotash on her porch while one of them cars with the
"booming" speakers rode by. How is this considered music? And anyone who
spends his or her $1.29 on this drivel should fall upon their knees and
repent that they did not give their money to a more worthy cause, such
as the pastor's residence fund at my church. I really need me one of
them aluminum roofs.
For its assault upon my auditory system alone, this song gets an:
F!
Bring Brittany and her OMG reviews back, please!! She's so hilarious.
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