Larry Lee the Primitive Baptist Reviews Old Dominion's "Hotel Key"

It seems like I'm living a lie. I used to review country songs and pop-country songs for this here blog, but these days all Trailer has me listen to are pop and hippity hop and rocking roll songs that still have the gall to call themselves country. It's disheartening and I believe it to be sinful (the lie that they're country; not that I'm reviewing them). But anyway, here we go.

This is another song from Old Dominion, a sleazy looking bunch of boys who like to sing about stalking women and wearing stupid looking hats (according to their appearances, it is probably pulled from the sweat-soaked, smoky pages of their own lives; not that I would judge). Well, I guess that's one way to go about things. It's not a Godly or respectable way, but it's a way. 

"Hotel Key." From the very title, you are immediately aware that some untoward situations are probably about to be recounted. It's not like a song about my wife losing her hotel key at the Million Dollar Quartet show in Branson is good song material for popular radio, so it has to be about fornicating or whatnot.

Annnnnd it is. Oh, ye of the olde dominion, fornicators shall not inherit the Kingdom of God. Put your pecker away and save that thing for your betrothed wife. Sins of the flesh are sins against the body. Flee from doing the sideways shimmy! You'll have a solid 3-5 years of all that you want once you get married. 

Another evil spoken of here is the mary wanner. Don't think I don't know what they speak of here. I'm from the seventies! Your body is a temple! Do you want to bring something into the temple that makes you want to lay on the couch all day watching Life Below Zero and eating Doritos all day? Well, that's what my son-in-law does and he ain't worth a …. I mean, he is not living within the Word at this time.

There's also mention of drinking in this song and you can probably imagine how the Lord and I feel about that. We don't even have real wine at the Lord's Supper, so I sure don't approve of it in a Motel 6 with a floozie and a doobie.

In summary, this song is as wretched as most I've reviewed for Farce the Music and it is also pretty lame. I needed three hours of Gaithers on YouTube to scrub it from my ears. 

F