Read no further if you have a sense of humor that doesn't include Jr. High flatulence jokes.
(parody of Jason Aldean's "My Kinda Party")
Yeah I ate old beets
Cold cuts, beans, nuts and cheese plate
Headed out to the club, can't be late
Fire it up and let my Hyundai sing
I'm feelin' kinda mean
I'm gonna ruin the Friday scene
Cause last week they cut off my drinks
Barkeep why don't you get me some Natty Light?
I know I'll never be invited to parties
After my revenge that's so vile
Kick the tires and light the fires
It's about time...
Oh baby what's behind me
I'm about to open up Hell's gate
Shittin’ sound creepin' out my blue jeans
Gettin' out would be the smart play
Cause I’ll find peace.
When my bottom lets out a real big stink
Fillin' up the barroom like my gas tank
Now the girls have departed
Cause I kinda farted
Ah hell, these cramps are peaking
And the owner is straight up freaking
I soiled my Lees
While I sit here watching the paint peel
Here's another one louder than all the other ones
Just now the bar band quit playin' Sweet Home Alabam'
Swinging door flapping like a fan
Maybe my revenge is a little too elementary
But I'm leaving a complaint they won't forget
From my alimentary
Oh baby what's behind me
Yeah, I had to open up Hell's gate
Shittin’ sound creepin' out my blue jeans
Gettin' out would be the smart play
Cause I’ll find peace.
When my bottom lets out a real big stink
Fillin' up the barroom like my gas tank
Even the drunks have departed
Cause I kinda farted
Yeah, I found peace
When all this flatulence was released
But it's still a party till the winds cease
Even the manager's departed
Cause I kinda farted
Where ya’ll goin’?
Ain't nobody left breathin’
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