Feb 21, 2011

.99 Review: Colt Ford - Country Thang

Colt Ford - Country Thang

The Peoples' Take:

Haters gonna hate (5 Stars)

by Forrest Latta

Another killer track… Colt's here to stay.

why??????????? (1 Star)

by zooladd

all you idiots that like this bigger idiot singing make real country people sick.. go back to your damn suburbs and cities and leave us real country people alone.. and colt needs to have a heart attack so we can be done with this bulls**t he calls music!

yea, i like colt (5 Stars)

by Garth-101

more country than Kieth Urban…

My Take:

Colt Ford is to rapping as Dane Cook is to comedy. Actually, that's not fair to Dane. At least Mr. Cook has told a joke or two that made the corners of my mouth turn upwards in mild amusement. Colt Ford has never uttered a single line or verse that made me think he had a shred of talent that might manifest itself as a worthy hip-hop or hick hop song. Despite the glee I get out of slagging bands and singers on this blog, I'm not a hateful person and I don't begrudge anyone doing what they think they were put on the planet to do; I'm just here to speak truth. Truth is, Colt Ford has likely NOT found his life's calling just yet. I get it - everybody has to grind the gears a little before they get it rolling.

This song is the sound of Colt missing third gear. Chgggg chgggg chggggaaahhhhhh!

"Country Thang" is YET ANOTHER listing song about, well, country thangs. And among thangs that Ford would like you to know are fixtures for the rural set are misspelelingllings (see song title) and uncorrect grammar, because "that's how we does it" down here! We also does it barefoot and crazy while the tin roof sings. We live in the pines in a shotgun shack with a high-priced huntin' dog baying around back. I bet you'll never guess what our women-folk wear. Yep, cutoff jeans. Apparently, in some necks of the south, women's clothing stores sell ONLY cutoffs, tight jeans, bikinis and short skirts. I wish.

You get the gist of the song already. You don't even have to hear it yourself, unless you really want to subject yourself to the undynamic flow of Jason Farris Brown (Ford's real name). There's nothing unique about "Country Thang," and even less interesting.

Somebody out there enjoys this music enough to keep Colt Ford playing clubs and low rent festivals year-round, so I guess there's that. He has a cult following and he's an underdog, I suppose… but one I can't get behind.

This song likely won't get Ford above that #50 on the charts ceiling he keeps headbutting, and doubtfully will get him out of that shotgun shack on an unpaved road (he told the courthouse "hell no" when the county tried to blacktop it) anytime soon.

Hey Colt, you sure you weren't better at golf?

Total Value: .09/.99

The Checklist:




Name Dropping

Dying Person

County Fair

Lost Love



Hometown/Country Pride

Kindly Advice




Life Affirmation



Pop Sheen

Star Power


  1. Apparently, in some necks of the south, women's clothing stores sell ONLY cutoffs, tight jeans, bikinis and short skirts. I wish.

    No, you don't. 'Cause then the female version of Colt Ford would have to shop there too. Haven't you seen People of Wal-Mart?

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