Showing posts with label Colt Ford. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Colt Ford. Show all posts

Jun 5, 2019

I'm Sorry... This Exists: June 2019


Weird, bad, or interesting country/music merchandise and other stuff.
These are not Photoshopped.


Colt Ford Onesie

George Jones High Tech Redneck pocket knife

This crazy dude is still at it...

Gross. I'm guessing this isn't approved by the estate.

Kane Brown kids' jersey.

Kane Brown tumbler

We've joked about Kelsea Ballerini being a Barbie doll for so long that we willed it into reality.

Old Dominion fidget spinner


Upchurch tattoo. Stands for Raise Hell Eat Cornbread. Yeehaw.

A metal cover of Luke Bryan’s “Kick the Dust Up”

Now, that's on brand!

Jul 6, 2018

Dogs & Babies: Country Reaction Gifs

When the radio plays Stapleton ...then Sam Hunt

When you took your dog along to the Willie Nelson show

When you've had a rough day dodging paparazzi

When you're walking along minding your own business
and hear FGL playing from a car nearby

Needs no explanation...

When you're excited about the party but they're playing Colt Ford

Listening to new Cody Jinks like...

This YouTube comment will have better grammar and spelling than the average Kane Brown fan's comment




Dec 19, 2017

If _____ Wrote a Christmas Song 2017


If Walker Hayes wrote a Christmas song

Need some joy in your stockin'? Well baby I gotcha
It's lit and it's bae and I ain't throwing shade
I Snapped you a clue, Word, hit me up too
We gone be totes chillin' this Christmas day



If Future wrote a Christmas song

You know it's enchanting baby, let it snow
Let it snow, let it snow
We here just waiting on santa, girl, so let it snow
Let it snow, let it snow



If Loretta Lynn wrote a Christmas song

Santa came home smelling like peppermint perfume
Lately he's been losing weight, doing Crossfit too
Heard he's got himself a little elf skank round the way
Well, Mrs. Santa's bout to bust that hussy in the face



If Mark Kozelek wrote a Christmas song

I watched a film about Venezuelan crop dusters
Under a chartreuse blanket on my veranda
Pondering what Belinda said last Christmas day



If Colt Ford wrote a Christmas song

Got that icy mud all up on my GMC
Alpines blasting Run DMC
Christmas in Hollis and Christmas in Macon
Woman at the crib got country ham bakin'



If Lemmy wrote a Christmas song

He's got a whip of leather
Skeleton reindeer crew
Snow or sunny weather
He's coming after you

Satan Clause, Satan Clause, 
Watch his black sleigh take flight
Satan Clause, Satan Clause,
Naughty or nice, you'll die tonight


Aug 21, 2017

Top 15 Things Rarer Than a Solar Eclipse in Nashville

 Top 15 Things Rarer Than a Solar Eclipse in Nashville

by Jeremy Harris and Trailer


15. An open mic night without "Wagon Wheel"


14. Shooter Jennings walking down Music Row in shorts

13. A Stanley Cup hockey championship


12. A country exec with any 2 of the following: brains, balls, integrity

11. Thomas Rhett singing in key


10. A Kane Brown fan who won't have retinal damage after today

9. 20 square feet of sidewalk without a douchebag on it


8. A local eating at FGL house


7. Colt Ford and Gary Levox eating salads

6. A sober bridesmaid

5. A songwriting session with less than 5 people in attendance


4. Luke Bryan shopping for relaxed fit jeans


3. An irreplaceable landmark some developer wouldn't happily bulldoze 
to put up another apartment building …or carwash


2. A woman on the country charts who isn't counted against the quota


1. A departed country legend not rolling in his/her grave daily

Aug 10, 2017

Super Troopers Country Reaction Gifs

When you hear what they're calling
country music these days

 Hey Pancho and Lefty...

 When Cody Jinks likes one of your tweets

When you overhear someone in the restaurant
talking shit about country music


How many female singers are in the country top 40 this week?

 Colt Ford fan out on a date

We can't arrest you for playing Florida-Georgia Line
but we do have something to show you

Jam bands wouldn't exist if people weren't...

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