Farce the Music: Luke Bryan

Jun 11, 2025

The Current Poop of Mainstream Country Radio: June '25

A poop emoji is negative, a strike thru is positive, an asterisk denotes a song where the good attributes and the bad are dead even. An overall score and brief summary are below the chart.

The current Poop Rating of the Mediabase Top 20 is (-11) overall which is a 3 point drop from our last edition in March. My favorite of the bunch is Ella Langley's "Weren't For the Wind." Sam Hunt says 'don't call it a comeback' and gives us the garbage we expect from him with "Country House." Aside from Sam Hunt and Josh Ross, everything's mostly mid as hell, even the good songs.

May 29, 2025

Imagining the Conversation Going on Here

This is some AI slop fake news that I saw on Facebook. Judging by the number of cry face emoji responses, at least a few people took it at face value. I beg of you, get some social media literacy.

Anyway, I decided to imagine the conversation that would be going on in the pictured scenario.

Luke: Hey Mr. Jackson, I’m real sorry about your condition.

Alan: Why am I wearing a cowboy hat in my hospital bed?

Luke: I don’t know sir. But I been praying for you.

Alan: Luke, why did you change shirts three times during this visit?

Luke: Why did you change hospital gowns twice?

Alan: I guess we’ll never know. But you know why I’m here, right?

Luke: No sir.

Alan: Because of the shaking it for catfish and the diesel going knock knock knock for the beautiful people and the boots knocking and all the damn duck faces and booty shaking.

Luke: You mean I did this to you?

Alan: Yes, Luther. As a fellow Georgian, I expected better of you. And what's with your face? Did you finally lay off the White Claws? You're looking uncharacteristically unbloated.

Luke: I went gluten free. As far as the music goes, what can I do to make it up to you?

Alan: Tell me why the doctors in the background keep changing. Luke, WTF is going on here? And get out of my face with your pork rind breath. Ain’t you got a reality show to host?