Showing posts with label Luke Bryan. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Luke Bryan. Show all posts

Oct 17, 2019

Oct 15, 2019

Top 10 Things Overheard at Luke Bryan’s Farm Tour 2019



10. This cow shit better come off! I paid 400 dollars for these cowboy boots.

9. Kaiyleighe, ever since he quit wearing skinny jeans, 
his music is a little worse to me for some reason.

8. I'm only here to see if he falls again again.

7. Even I know this Mitchell Tenpenny dude ain’t country, 
and I’m an absolute dumbass.

6. Is it just me, or has Luke’s pelvic thrust lost a little propulsion?

5. (People taking off their boots to “knock” them together over their heads 
during “Knockin’ Boots” because they have no idea what Luke’s outdated reference means)

4. I’m an Instagram Influencer! Let me pet the sheep or I’ll have this place cancelled!

3. I hope Luke covers some classics from the greats that influenced him 
like Jason Derulo and Colt Ford. 

2. As much as Luke is paying this farmer, 
you’d think he could afford to get a sexier tractor.

1. Are you going to the concession stand? See if there are any older dudes around 
who will buy us some White Claw.


Oct 10, 2019

Zombieland Country Reaction Gifs

If there's a classic country station in your town

When you're playing originals 
and somebody requests "Wagon Wheel"

When a kid says Willie Nelson sucks

When a modern country singer thinks he's outlaw because of a weed charge
  
 Do you wanna listen to Kane Brown?

New Cody Jinks. Tomorrow.

When you were joking about liking Luke Bryan to your aunt and she bought you his discography

"How about we listen to the new Zac Brown Band?"

Sep 20, 2019

3 Up, 3 Down


3 Up

Jon Pardi - Heartache Medication
It’s hard to believe a song that starts out with a fiddle is actually a hit in this day and age. Pardi’s country, this song is country, what more do you need to know? It’s not exactly groundbreaking in the lyrical department, but it’s well written and at least copies all the good stuff. I’m really looking forward to his new album. Aside from “Heartache on the Dance Floor,” I’ve liked all Jon’s songs so far.
B+

Runaway June - Buy My Own Drinks
What’s this? Women with a top 10 song? I’m sure some IHeartRadio analyst somewhere is counting this as 3 songs by women for their stats, since Runaway June has 3 members. The song: it’s propulsive, confident, and catchy. It’s also timely. I hope radio will give this group a fair shake on future singles as well; their underrated Blue Roses album has quite a few that deserve airplay. 
B+

Lady Antebellum - What If I Never Get Over You
Shut up. I know it’s not very country, and Lady Antebellum is usually reality-show scripted kiss background music at best, but this is pretty good …so leave me alone. It calls back to their early swoony ballads, and for me that’s not a bad thing. Lady A got off the rails a few years ago with unmemorable …uh, songs… I don’t even recall any of them enough to give a fair description, but this seems to be a pointed turn back to what they do best. And it’s a sad song! And there are real instruments! The bar is low these days, what can I say? The harmonies are beautiful though.
B


3 Down

Chris Lane - I Don’t Know About You
It starts out bad and gets indescribably worse almost immediately. Heavy beats, R&B copycat vocal style, modern slang-y lyrics …but this is (air quotes) country y’all. While I listened to this to write a few words about it, I kept checking over my should to make sure nobody thought I was listening for my enjoyment. The chorus has lyrics nearly identical to several other pop-country songs, as I illustrated in a meme last month. Come to think of it, “country” songs are basically just memes now. Take a format and make slight changes to it and pass it around. As Public Enemy once poignantly asked “Who stole the soul?”
F

Jimmie Allen - Make Me Want To
Jimmie has some talent, and at least a smidgen of promise. However, this song fulfills no promise whatsoever. It employs snap-beats and paint-by-numbers lyrics for typical 2019 mainstream country radio fodder. It’s background music. The chorus has lyrics nearly identical to several other pop-country songs (including the one above), as I illustrated in a meme last month. Come to think of it, “country” songs are basically just memes now. Take a format and make slight changes to it and pass it around. As Public Enemy once poignantly asked “Who stole the soul?” This one’s catchier than Chris Lane’s nearly identical song and Jimmie has a better voice, so I’ll give it a
D

Luke Bryan - Knockin’ Boots
The good: Simple instrumentation, no clutter. The bad: Everything else. Who thought it was a good idea to bring back a bit of 90s slang that only stuck around for 3-4 years and a couple of hit songs from Candyman and H-Town, anyway? That’s wack yo. Circling back around to the simplicity of this song - the lyrics are also simple, but the definition of ‘simple’ that means stupid. I can’t stand repetitive nonsense… boots need knockin’, knockin’ boots… I feel stupid typing that, imagine singing it, imagine enjoying someone singing it. 
F

Sep 13, 2019

The Four


*Considering the thousands of memes created and eleven years FTM has been around, 
I've probably made this exact meme before somewhere along the way. Don't care.*

Sep 12, 2019

Titanic Country Reaction Gifs

When he says he's going to Cody Jinks with his friends and not taking you

How long since you've heard a country song on country radio?

When Jack's been listening to Kane Brown

What's it like to listen to the new Jason Aldean song?

When your mother says new country is better because her era was all twangy and sad.

She's cranking up "Huntin', Fishin', and Lovin' Every Day" but

When Stapleton then Strait or Reba play in a row on the CMA Awards and you feel like the king of the world, but
there's a Florida-Georgia Line iceberg on the way

There's some kind of metaphor for country radio here

Sep 6, 2019

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