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He sees you there at your table with your girlfriend, Mr. Authentic Country, and despite Brad’s creative shortcomings, he knows your story. You got dragged out to drink $18 cocktails and listen to music you consider beneath you by your attractive but basic love interest, but hey, you don’t have to take it out on him. He doesn’t come to your haberdashery or horse barn or whatever and talk shit about your work.
Brad just wants to play Thomas Rhett and Cole Swindell and Russell Tenpenny.. hell, he gets them mixed up too, but anyway, just let him and his band play selections from the 50 popular songs they know in peace and chill out, dude. Zach Bryan? Do you mean Luke? And who the hell is Colter Wall? You’re just making stuff up now.
You in your vintage Waylon Jennings t-shirt sitting there all high and mighty, drinking a Pabst. What did you expect? That they were going to crank out some Highway Troubadours, or Colby Jinks, or whatever depressing stuff you listen to? Get real man, Dem Broadway Boyz are here to sell beer, Fireball, and overpriced chicken tenders. For the love of God, no they won’t play “Feathered Indians.”
Brad leans over to his bassist during a rendition of Sam Hunt’s “Body Like a Back Road” and whispers “watch this guy, be ready to take him down” as you saunter to the side stage with a smirk on your face.
At press time, Brad was singing lyrics read off his phone as the band worked through a poor version of “Whiskey River” after you tipped them $30 to play it. But he’s still pissed.
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Apr 15, 2022
According to several walkouts, Sam began the show by saying “We’re gonna play y’all some country music tonight!” The venue roared with their appreciation, confident in their 2022 radio-defined understanding of ‘country music,’ but many were soon left scratching their heads, and yes, leaving the arena over what transpired.
“When they played “House Party” in that old timey style, I just thought he was doing something a little different to open the show,” said an exasperated Tawny London of Mobile. “But then there was this person playing a violin or something on the next song too, and Sam wasn’t rapping, and I don’t know what the hell was going on.” London said she stayed for a couple more songs until it was clear the whole set would be played in this “redneck old cheugy people music” style.
“There was this guy on stage who was sitting at a table with strings on it or something and these sad, weird sounds were coming out of it,” said an also upset Chad Davis of Biloxi. “It was like a dying guitar and the squeals coming out of it made me feel emotions and I didn’t like it. If I wanted to see a good ol' classic country concert, I'd go see Luke Bryan.”
Hunt, for his part, sang the usually spoken or rapped parts of his hit songs. Around 30 minutes into his hour and 45 minute set, the exodus began, leaving The Wharf half empty by the encore. Hunt never said anything about the departures or the scattered boos, only plowing through the songs with cheerful aplomb and occasionally mentioning the origins of the songs between selections.
“There wasn’t no dancers, there wasn’t no outfit changes,” said a crying Ginger Lee of Auburn. “He ain’t even tell us to throw our hands in the air and wave em all around like we just don’t care. What kind of country concert was this supposed to be??”
At press time, Sam Hunt had not responded to our requests for an interview and had recently hired Dave Cobb to produce his next record.
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A poop emoji is negative, a strike thru is positive. Total score below the chart.
The current Poop Rating of the Mediabase Top 20 is (-8) overall which is an 8 point drop from January (the previous time we did this chart). The best song is Carly Pearce/Ashley McBryde’s “Never Wanted to Be That Girl.” The worst is Walker Hayes’ “AA” (big surprise, huh?). The songs are getting dumber as summer nears, like they usually do.
Chart info from Mediabase/Country Aircheck.