Showing posts with label Kenny Chesney. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Kenny Chesney. Show all posts

Jun 23, 2020

More Male Country Singers as Women

George Strait

Thomas Rhett

Jason Isbell

Tim McGraw

Kenny Chesney

George Jones 
Tyler Hubbard (FGL)

May 21, 2020

The Lion King Country Reaction Gifs

"Wanna hear some Avenue Beat?"

If you're surrounded by Kane Brown fans

Kenny Chesney's career since 2000

When Simba says Sam Hunt songs are great even if they aren't country 

 You'll have the same reaction to a Lori McKenna song as you do this scene

Florida-Georgia Line has a new EP coming out!

Hank 3? Jamey Johnson?

"Everywhere the light touches, Luke Bryan sucks"

Jan 21, 2020

Carl Outlaw, Real Country Fan, Reviews Tim McGraw’s “Way Down”




I don’t know what to say about this one. Mostly because I didn’t listen to it. The day I listen to a Tom McGraw song is the day I neuter myself with a spork. He’s pretty much Luke Bryan’s dad. Their’s no difference between them accept one of them is tan and skinny and the other one wears leggings. Or so I’ve heard - I never heard one note of a Luke Bryan song either.


Tom McGraw did a rap song with Nelly one time so you know he’s a wannabe loser. Country plus rap equals crap, in case you forgot. He also did a song about wearing buffalo underwear. What the f*** man? I don’t want to think about some dude in his underpants. The only good thing Tom McGraw ever did in his life is Faith Hill.


Now, this song. I read the lyrics and it’s pretty much just a geography lesson. He just says a state and then some crap that state is known for. Your and idiot if you learn anything from this song because its just stuff every body already knows. Impress me if your gonna list southern shit. Talk about Hot Stuff Eddie Gilbert and talk about Bucksnort, TN and talk about fried chicken gizzards. Nobody wants to here the four thousandth song with Big-D (I bet Tom likes [removed by editor]) and Ole Miss and grandma. 

Tom McGraw and his buddy Chesney are the god fathers of bro-country and this song just proves it. Just naming a bunch of country shit and having hip-hop beats. If this is a country song, Jeffrey Epstein killed himself. 


And don’t get me started on the chorus. Get this its just “way down.” That’s it but he sings it over and over until you want to drive to Tom’s house and slap him so hard that stupid shiny hat flies into his foyer. Their’s a rapper in this song to. It’s like McGraw thought to himself “what can I do to piss off Carl Outlaw so much he has to go back on blood pressure meds?” Well, good job Tom.

In closing, I’ll just say kiss every square inch of my ass, Tom McGraw, and you owe me 39 dollars for the Cardizem.


Oct 4, 2019

Tool Dresses as Kenny Chesney to Attend Kenny Chesney Concert

Local tool, in his usual attire
by Trailer - Originally posted on Country California April 09, 2009 - Idea by Mr. Wilcox
Local tool and fan of "whatever the country station is playing," Morty 'Mo' Haas, dressed up as Kenny Chesney to attend Friday's Kenny Chesney concert. The idea first came to Mo after a shower, as he stared through a heavy cloud of Axe at his image in the fogged mirror and realized just how much he looked like the superstar from east Tennessee. The male pattern baldness, the insane guns, the extraordinarily average visage, the 5 foot 5 stature... it all added up. 

Two hours later, Mo and his buddy Chaz Vance stepped into the Mohegan Sun Arena dressed to kill... margaritas. Mo was clad in a sleeveless Hooters t-shirt, a rumpled cowboy hat bought at a garage sale, tattered size 36 Rustler jeans that took 10 minutes to stretch over his meaty thighs and a pair of Corona flip flops. His buddy Chaz dressed as one of Kenny's guitar players, wearing jeans and a t-shirt of some indie rock band he'd never actually heard of (R.E.M.). All the fine ladies drooled and the guys mad-dogged as they strode into the arena, Mo later reported. 

When Kenny hit the stage, singing some song about feet or Yoohoos or something, most of the fans were staring at Mo, thinking he was actually Kenny singing from the audience, reported Chaz. 

"The resemblance was disturbing" says April Curtis, who was also at the concert on Friday. "I had seats near that guy, but me and my girlfriends moved down into some empty seats because his hairy gut kept popping out from under his too-tight shirt and bumping my elbow; I nearly mouth-vomited." 

By the midway point, Chaz and Mo were so deep into the $8 margaritas that arena security officials were watching them closely. "That tool in the stretch jeans kept telling girls he actually was Kenny and that his stunt double was filling in for him tonight so he could chill with all the sexy honeys," said Rufus Long, Mohegan Sun rent-a-cop director, "and the other sleazebag was 'screening' girls for him." 

Their conduct, although pathetic, never warranted an arrest during the show, but section FF was completely devoid of females by the encore. As he and Chaz stumbled out womanless, Mo bought a $35 t-shirt as a memento of the event and promptly ripped the sleeves off. 



Jan 16, 2019

The Next Smash for Jordan Lynch or Mitchell Davis or Whoever


If You Say I'm Not Country
©2019 FTM Lyrical Satirical

I like sugar in my unsweet tea
And my Texas chili full of beans
And I'll be on your ass like jeans
If you say I'm not country

I like to hunt a little snipe
And eat honeysuckle when it's ripe
And mister I might pull a knife
If you say I'm not country

Cause I'm from where they sing about
in songs from Kenny and Tim
Down there on that ol' rural route
Where I have definitely been
Church and mama and all that stuff
And girls sweet as Georgia plums
If you say I'm not, I'll call your bluff
I'm as country as they come

I love to crank those old outlaw songs
Turn up the Brantley and sing along
I'll throw hands and prove you wrong
If you say I'm not country

Cause I love me a Grizzly pouch
There's red on my neck skin
From working tater fields down south
Where I have definitely been
Shine and biscuits and all that stuff
And girls sweet as Georgia plums
If you say I'm not, I might get rough
I'm as country as they come

Bridge
You can say I use snap beats
You can say I'm auto-tuned
But you can't say I'm not country
Just look at my Aldean tattoo

Yeah I'm from where they sing about
in songs from Kenny and Tim
Down there on that ol' rural route
Where I have definitely been
Church and mama and all that stuff
And girls sweet as Georgia plums
If you say I'm not, I'll call your bluff

I'm as country as they come


Oct 26, 2018

3 Up 3 Down: Chris Young, Cody Johnson, Kenny Chesney, etc.



3 Up:

Luke Combs - She Got the Best of Me
Luke Combs is hope for the future on country radio. No, he's no country music savior. Nobody's gonna mistake him for the next Waylon. Still, he's a throwback - even if the era he's a throwback to is the 90s. There's twang, real instruments, and real emotion. "She Got the Best of Me" is a catchy power ballad that'll stick in your head after a few listens. The vocal performance is strong and the lyrics are solid - though one wonders if he's telling the audience they're just getting the leftovers.
B

Kenny Chesney ft. Mindy Smith - Better Boat
Travis Meadows gets another big single and that's enough reason to root for this song. On top of that, Mindy Smith gets her first top 40 song ever with this release. Kenny's performance lacks the passion of Meadow's lived-in delivery, but there's little to complain about here. It's a thoughtful, restrained song that stands out amongst a sea of same-sounding mid tempo thumpers. 
A-

Cody Johnson - On My Way to You
The Texas darling seems well on his way to national stardom and it's good to see that he hasn't compromised a thing to get there. "On My Way to You" is a more country and more detail-oriented take on Rascal Flatts' "God Blessed the Broken Road." What stands out to me about this song is how there's still a tear in Cody's voice despite the positive subject matter. That's important. Hope this one goes to #1.
B+


3 Down:

Chris Young - Hangin' On
It's depressing to see one of the potentially great voices of this generation wasted on such meh radio fodder as this. "Hangin' On" is like off-brand vanilla ice cream that kinda has that funny taste from being in the freezer too long and has those weird ice crystals in every bite. There's nothing too shameful about the lyrics and there's no hip-hop beat; this song just sucks. Hopefully, the success of Luke Combs and Cody Johnson will inspire Chris to go back to the sound that brought him to the dance.
D-

Dustin Lynch - Good Girl
It's depressing to see one of the potentially pretty good voices of this generation wast… oh, who am I kidding? Yeah, Dustin had a couple of good pop-country songs at first, but this is who he is now: a good looking fake cowboy who sings vapid songs for undiscerning mainstream "country" fans and their boyfriends. There's a lot shameful about the lyrics and there's a hip-hop beat and this song just sucks. I hold out no hope Dustin Lynch will ever put out another song I'm not embarrassed to hear.
F

Mitchell Tenpenny - Drunk Me
Please don't let this guy happen. Aside from the "Bitches" controversy, I CANNOT FREAKING STAND MITCHELL TENPENNY'S VOICE. He's just terrible to the point that I feel rage welling up in me when I hear it. There is literally not one even microscopic thread of country in this song. It's fake ass watered down white boy R&B with some rock guitars thrown in to make it acceptable to play on the country station. I suppose the chorus is fairly catchy but it doesn't redeem this absolute feckless turd. Could he just go away?
F



Oct 19, 2018

One-of-a-Kind New Country Singer Carves His Own Niche

by Trailer - Originally posted on Country California Wednesday, January 14, 2015 

Already named to The Boot's prestigious "Ones to Watch 2015" list, Brant Smith is poised for a breakthrough year and he wants you to know he's doing it his way. Our correspondent sat down with Bryant to find out what makes him stand out among this year's crop of stubble-chinned warblers. 

"Most debut artists don't get as much control over their music as Prestige Nashville has given me, but they saw something edgy and different in me and just handed over the reins," said Scott, molding a stray tuft of gelled hair back into the towering blond coiffure atop his head. Chris went on to explain how his first album will be a true portrait of his life and his completely distinctive upbringing. 

"Man, I grew up on a dirt road where there wasn't much to do, so me and my friends just kicked it the best way we knew how," explained Dylan. "I know this sounds crazy, but sometimes we'd just grab a few cold ones and some pretty girls and find a field to chill in. That's the kind of out-there stuff I want to bring to my music!" 

Chad's wildly idiosyncratic influences range anywhere from "good ol' country like Kenny and Trace" to Godsmack to Calvin Harris to Waka Flocka Flame. "Nobody out there's going to admit listening to all the crazy stuff I do, much less incorporate it into their country music," laughed Mark, pushing up the sleeves of his form-fitting grey henley. 

Steven, quite surprisingly a former high school quarterback, went on to say that he'd taken the unheard of step of co-writing the entire album with some of Nashville's lesser-known songwriters like Ashley Gorley, Josh Kear, and Kyle Jacobs. Jon expects to release an EP in early spring as he heads out in support of fellow maverick Chase Rice, with a full album to follow in the fall. 

Based on his nonconformist attitude and unusual backstory, we expect Lee to forge his own path outside the box on Music Row and become a force to reckon with on country radio. Listen to The Bobby Bones Show this Friday as Randy debuts his new single "Girl Let's Have a Good Time Tonight." 


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