These will make you feel old!
(all real tweets)
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| ON THE CLASSIC STATION??? |
Showing posts with label Taylor Swift. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Taylor Swift. Show all posts
Jun 2, 2022
Apr 29, 2022
Woman Who Says She Listens to Everything But Country and Rap a Damn Liar
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| Courtney Wilhelm, liar |
In pursuit of truth, Farce the Music reviewed every song (53,297) Wilhelm played on Spotify since that fateful tweet and discovered that she did not, in fact, listen to every other genre. Among the styles of music not represented in her listening habits were folktronica, hypnagogic pop, progressive sludge metal, crunkcore, aggrotech, deep psychobilly, unblack metal, and post-alt-country.
When confronted with her own lies, Wilhelm was shaken. “Who the hell are you and why do you care what I listen to? This is weird,” she tweeted back at us when I showed her the statistics. “Leave me alone, freak.”
According to our thorough research, Ms. Wilhelm’s musical tastes were almost entirely in the realms of commercial pop music with occasional forays into indie rock (she seemed to be engaged in an off and on relationship with a hipstery looking gentleman during these times, but we weren’t stalking her or anything). Nary a time did she sample any of the following genres: Simpsons hip-hop, Genericana, dark cabaret, intersex EDM, catstep, fishing metal, vegan straight edge, or harmonica drone. This perjury must not stand.
When asked again to explain herself regarding the 2017 tweet, Wilhelm blocked us, clearly feeling the guilt of her fraud. She also took her Spotify account entirely private, but not before we caught another misstep, a quick listen to Taylor Swift’s debut album. While we’d argue with you all day long about whether it’s real country or not, Swift’s first release was clearly marketed as ‘country.’ Another damn lie from Courtney; when will it end?
I used a burner Twitter account to further question her regarding this latest revelation and the growing mountain of untruths she was piling up. Her response? Reported and blocked. Also, a local police officer just called to ask that I refrain from contacting Ms. Wilhelm in any way, so it appears this rapscallion will not meet her comeuppance.
At press time, I was harassing a teenager who tweeted that he only likes new country and rappers who sing instead of rapping.
Mar 17, 2022
Top 10 Traits for Getting a Country Record Deal 2022
10. A built in audience of TikTok fans you duped into thinking you were talented
9. A gym membership
8. Generic, character-free male country voice
7. Willingness to be an opening act forever (females)
6. Willingness to be a headliner with your own bus right out of the gate (males)
5. Ability to politely say nothing with many words, when asked about a serious topic in an interview
4. Strong knowledge of hair care techniques, including advanced shampoo and condition, heat protection, volumizer, mousse, and shine serum
3. Have large or new family and only talk about them ever and nothing else
2. Musical inspirations must include at least 3 of the following: 21 Pilots, John Mayer, Lil Wayne, Drake, Ariana Grande, Sugar Ray, Kanye, Keith Urban, Imagine Dragons, Taylor Swift (pop era).
1. Be boring as dry dog shit
Dec 29, 2020
Dec 22, 2020
Farce the Music’s Top 30 Songs of 2020
1. Caylee Hammack - Small Town Hypocrite
This was my favorite song of the year wire-to-wire. I just couldn’t get it out of my head or heart, and didn’t want to. It’s personal and universal at once - the hallmark of a great song, in my book. The vocals, the lyrics, the instrumentation - flawless. A truly fantastic piece of art.
2. Waylon Payne - Shiver
3. Katie Pruitt - My Mind’s a Ship (That’s Going Down)
4. Arlo McKinley - Suicidal Saturday Night
5. Brandy Clark - I’ll Be the Sad Song
5. Flatland Cavalry - War With My Mind
6. Sarah Jarosz - Orange and Blue
7. Futurebirds - Trippin’
8. Taylor Swift ft. Bon Iver - Exile
9. Randy Travis - Fool’s Love Affair
10. The Wilder Blue - The Eagle
11. Rookie - I Can’t Have You But I Want You
12. Hailey Whitters - Janice at the Hotel Bar
13. Marcus King - Wildflowers & Wine
14. Joshua Ray Walker - Voices
15. Gabe Lee - Imogene
Oct 14, 2020
Aug 18, 2020
An Honest Visual Interview with Sam Hunt
Thanks for talking with us Sam. First of all, could you point to another Sam who's more country than you?
And who's another non-country singer who's still more country than you?
What's your advice to people who say that genre distinctions don't matter but still call you country?
And what should be done to your entire discography?
Most country stars say they're inspired by Strait or Dolly or Waylon or somebody like that. Who's your inspiration?
Were you better at football than you are at selling pop music as country music?
And finally, what state of mind would someone have to be in to think they truly understand the history of country music and yet still believe you're country?
May 28, 2020
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