Farce the Music: Oliver Anthony

Dec 29, 2023

Predicting Mainstream Country in 2024

By Bobby Peacock

* Caught up in his trend to collaborate with everyone, Riley Green includes 19 artists on his next single... then forgets to include himself

* Entire Billboard Hot Country Songs chart occupied by Zach Bryan songs for five weeks straight; new rule enacted the next week to counter this results in chart occupied entirely by Morgan Wallen songs

* Oliver Anthony Music banned from Dollar General in Farmville, Virginia for vandalizing a display of Fudge Rounds

* Latest Cole Swindell single proven to be both written and produced by AI; results inconclusive on whether Cole himself is an AI

* Several casual Randy Travis fans experience shock upon hearing "Whisper My Name" for the first time

* Disturbance at Woodlawn Memorial Park in Nashville discovered to be Dobie Gray rolling in his grave after the release of Dustin Lynch's "Chevrolet"

* "You Can't Hide Beautiful" by Aaron Lines officially recognized as the first "boyfriend country" song

* Oliver Anthony Music denies allegations that he is related to Lorenzo Music, the former voice actor for Garfield

* For the first time, Luke Combs gets a single all the way to #1 before it even has a Wikipedia article

* Jason Aldean releases new single "But Some of My Best Friends Are Black"... alongside a cover of Cledus T. Judd's "Illegals"

* Bobby continues to be the only Farce the Music regular who refuses to make jokes about Kane Brown or Maren Morris

* Due to an overflow error, Zach Bryan's next album listed on Spotify as having -27 songs on it

* After the success of "Watermelon Moonshine", Lainey Wilson releases "We Danced Regardless", all the while denying allegations that she is just going to keep copying Deana Carter

* Blake Shelton continues his slide into irrelevance by collaborating with Pitbull... oh wait, he already did that

* At last, the long-awaited return of the Smokin' Armadillos