Oct 30, 2020
Oct 21, 2020
Oct 12, 2020
Sep 17, 2020
When I hear Dan + Shay
"You heard that new FGL song? It's actually pretty good"
Yep, I've been listening to Lori McKenna again
When you detect shitty snapbeat country in your vicinity
Carrie Underwood & Thomas Rhett tied for ACM Entertainer of the Year???
When you had to watch the ACMs for blog content, but it's finally thankfully over
When the kid wants to hear some Kane Brown
♫ ♬ Write this down, take a little note ♫ ♬
Oh, you think I'm going to turn down the Waylon?
When just about any new male mainstream country singer meets another new male mainstream country singer
The ACM Awards were obviously a more serious and somber affair this year, so the hatin' wasn't as prevalent. That said, here are a few bits of insight and humor from last night's show.
I guess I’ll watch the ACMs. Probably won’t be a lot of hatin’ cause things are weird. As you may know.— Farce the Music (@Farcethemusic) September 17, 2020
Here’s some hatin’: Dan + Shay suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. #ACMawards— Farce the Music (@Farcethemusic) September 17, 2020
Dan + Shay rhymes with Maddie & Taye, the real duo of the year in my country music heart #ACMawards— Sarah Boesveld (@sarahboesveld) September 17, 2020
“One Margarita” was definitely written by an online hit summer country song generator. #ACMawards— Farce the Music (@Farcethemusic) September 17, 2020
I couldn’t tell you Dan from Shay though... and I thought Old Dominion was better when they were in the Sun Belt Conference.— Jay Cooper (@jayacoop) September 17, 2020
Carrie Underwood just covered Patsy Cline, Loretta Lynn, Barbara Mandrell, Dolly Parton, Reba McEntire, and Martina McBride on the ACM AWARDS. Carrie Underwood just had a "moment." She is what pop country should be. #ACMawards— Saving Country Music (@KyleCoroneos) September 17, 2020
I think Nashville needs an intervention about their drinking problem. (It’s worse than usual) #ACMawards— Farce the Music (@Farcethemusic) September 17, 2020
I had no clue the #ACMawards were on tonight.— NotKennyRogers (@NotKennyRogers) September 17, 2020
Then again, over half the nominees have no clue who Merle Haggard is so whatever.
I don’t think I’ve ever cared less about a celebrity couple than Blake and Gwen lol— Lorie Liebig (@lorieliebig) September 17, 2020
Fun fact: Luke Combs did a tune up on that truck before the commercial.— Farce the Music (@Farcethemusic) September 17, 2020
I always knew country music would eventually get so bad that nobody would show up at those award shows, but y’all didn’t believe me...— Kevin Moon (@_KevinMoon) September 17, 2020
We would have severe overpopulation and traffic problems if Riley Green’s song came true.— Farce the Music (@Farcethemusic) September 17, 2020
"Excuse me. Sir?? Can you tell me how to get to Copperhead Road?" "Yeah, uh, head down Copperhead road. Run right on Copperhead. Another left on Copperhead. Then boom. You're on Copperhead. "— Tyler Daniel (@TylerDaniel28) September 17, 2020
I like the idea of Luke Combs sitting in the Bluebird and occasionally having to get up and be like what again?— Elamin Abdelmahmoud (@elamin88) September 17, 2020
Play Mickey Guyton, country radio.— Farce the Music (@Farcethemusic) September 17, 2020
it’s a crime you all let Florida Georgia Line be as popular as they are— rach coop (@rec__22) September 17, 2020
A man can stumble out of the Gap Outlet at the Opryland Mall to pick up an Entertainer Of The Year trophy, apparently. #ACMs— Country Universe (@CountryUniverse) September 17, 2020
I don’t like the phrase “mediocre white male” because I am one, but Thomas Rhett is also one.— Farce the Music (@Farcethemusic) September 17, 2020
Sep 10, 2020
When you drive by somebody who's cranking Luke Bryan
Me picking a country cover song from 2020 to listen to
When she says that if you don't stop making fun of her obsession with Thomas Rhett's music, she'll leave
What it looks like at a Cole Swindell concert
Where I come from, it's cornbread and chicken
When somebody in the laundromat has a Rascal Flatts ringtone
When somebody across the bar plays Kane Brown on the jukebox
When she says she digs your taste in country music
That's the night that the lights went out in Georgia
Sep 3, 2020
*foul language warning obviously*
If I see Thomas Rhett, Luke Bryan, and FGL all together on the street
When you see that the best mainstream country song of the year, Caylee Hammack's "Small Town Hypocrite" bombed on the charts
The opposite of Vince Gill
Describe Keith Urban's last album
Did you hear about Kane Brown getting lost on his own land?
When your friends says "You're right, mainstream country is awful - give me Tyler Childers and Courtney Patton instead."
If 'that' is a boyfriend country song with snap beats:
When someone says they like Kelsea Ballerini better than Kelsey Waldon
and finally, to mainstream country radio...
Aug 18, 2020
Thanks for talking with us Sam. First of all, could you point to another Sam who's more country than you?
And who's another non-country singer who's still more country than you?
What's your advice to people who say that genre distinctions don't matter but still call you country?
And what should be done to your entire discography?
Most country stars say they're inspired by Strait or Dolly or Waylon or somebody like that. Who's your inspiration?
Were you better at football than you are at selling pop music as country music?
And finally, what state of mind would someone have to be in to think they truly understand the history of country music and yet still believe you're country?
Aug 13, 2020
Jul 31, 2020
Reports from every American man and woman, regardless of political belief or musical preference, on Friday said they do not give one solitary shit what famous country singers are doing to pass time during the COVID-19 quarantine.
Despite numerous attempts by Taste of Country and PopCulture.com, not a single story of singers drinking coffee and reading to their kids has piqued the interest of normal everyday citizens. While Americans realized the difficulty of finding interesting news during this difficult time, they were resolute in their belief that “this ain’t it, chief.”
“I’m only working 20 hours a week and the PPP and my stimulus check have run out so I’m worried about paying the mortgage,” said Rena Hopson of Kalamazoo, MI. “So no, I am not interested in how Luke Bryan is doing Tik Tok videos with his beautiful wife on their sprawling farm… call me cynical, I call me a realist.”
Even TMZ has taken to peeking in the windows of country stars like Jason Aldean and Thomas Rhett to see how they’re coping with the pandemic. “Aldean appeared to be fussing at his daughter for playing Animal Crossing when she was supposed to be taking out the trash.” said a breathless paparazzi reporter for the rag. Again, this did nothing to snatch the attention of any human being upon the earth, who were each dealing with their own issues at the present time.
“I understand that there’s nothing going on, so they have to get creative with their content,” laughed Azid Parah of Pensacola. “But I have kids to keep busy and bills to pay, so I do not give even one damn what kind of sourdough Kelsea Ballerini is baking this week.”
At press time, The Boot was interviewing Florida-Georgia Line about their favorite episode of Unsolved Mysteries.
Jul 30, 2020
Jul 29, 2020
Jul 24, 2020
Portland’s Portobello Records near Laurelhurst Park was ransacked and looted on Thursday night during the ongoing protests and unrest occurring in the city. The store was reported to be nearly a total loss.
Owner Jason Anderson reported damages in upwards of $67,000. Shelves were overturned, walls were vandalized, records were stolen, Five Finger Death Punch t-shirts were burned, and the cash register was emptied of its entire $1.45.
“They left every single CD and vinyl record of Luke Bryan untouched though,” laughed Anderson. “Usually we just sell those to tourists anyway, but he’s not thaaat bad, right?” He told us there was even a polite letter scrawled in blood on the Bryan records that said simply “No thanks.”
Besides the country hunk’s records, every other CD, cassette tape, vinyl, and even a few 8-tracks were stolen from Portobello. That includes Creed, Nickelback, Soulja Boy, Hoobastank, Lil Xan, LMFAO, 6ix9ine, Puddle of Mudd, and even Coldplay. “I could have resold a lot of leftovers on eBay or some other secondary market, but I mean, if they wouldn’t even steal Luke Bryan albums, I guess they’re worthless,” said Anderson, rummaging through the debris.
“Oh, actually here are a few other records they didn’t take,” said Anderson, finding a full crate under some rubble. “Florida-Georgia Line, Dustin Lynch, Thomas Rhett… weird.”
The looters, believed to be one group pretending to be Antifa and another group pretending to be right wingers, both intending to frame the other, were not identifiable in store security footage. If you have information that could lead to an arrest in the case, contact Portland Crimestoppers.