Oct 27, 2023
Ranking Country Singers
Oct 20, 2023
Dan + Shay to Dress as Country Duo for Halloween
Pop duo Dan + Shay is looking for costumes for a Halloween party this weekend. They’ve already chosen the theme - country singers - but they’re now searching for the perfect homespun attire, visiting Goodwills and western wear outlets across Nashville.
The Dan + Shay wardrobe usually includes bright colors and stripes, tailored pants, and hip casual wear. The aesthetics of country music fashion are a world away from their typical flair, but they’re digging it. “Ha, they call this a nudist suit, I believe,” laughs Thomas, holding up a rhinestone and gold beaded purple jacket. “I think old country stars like Buck Owings and Hank Wilson [sic] used to wear these… they had so much drip!”
After a couple of hours, the two have narrowed their selections down to an all black Johnny Cash-inspired ensemble or a Brooks and Dunn combo. “How did Garth have time to be in a duo and have a solo career at the same time?” asks a confused Smyers.
Slowly coming to a consensus for the B&D garb at press time, Dan + Shay seem excited about the impact they’ll make when they step into the party as someone so different from themselves. “They won’t even recognize us in these fits.”
Oct 3, 2023
Brutally Honest Country Top 20
By Bobby Peacock.
(you can tell it's not me because I wouldn't admit a Dan + Shay song was good even if I liked it)
Sep 27, 2023
Sep 22, 2023
This Guy Rants About Country Music “Authenticity”
We’ve all seen the stories. We’ve all herd the new boring songs. Mainstream country music is evolving in front of are very eyes and I for one do not like it!
Nowadays when I drive my sidechick in my Raptor and turn on the radio, it’s Luke Combs crying about going somewhere in a fast car, or Ashly McBridde singing about her family or some shit. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Am I right??
And the Spotify country playlists ar just as bad. Who tf is Zach Bryan? Is that Luke’s more boring younger brother? I listened to him for 1 whole minute and he did not mention Fireball, pretty tan feet, or the summer moon even once. That ain’t country! And his songs don’t even make any cents. Keep it simple and keep the party going, Zach. Come on man!
I seen that ol’ Zach had the number one album and song in America, and I shed a tear. It feels like things are changing and I’m kinda scared because where else is there to listen to music I like but the radio? Singers are putting their flat brim caps and skinny jeans away, and getting out cowboy hats and work boots. It’s not okay.
John Party or Chris Stapleton were the ones who started this mess. With a name like Party, John should’ve been dropping the beat and lighting crates on fire for the hotties in every song, but nooooo he’s got to have old whiney instruments. And Chris Stapleton only wrote one good song in his life and that was Thomas Rhett’s “Crash and Burn!”
I look at the tragic break up of Florida-Georgia Line and just think, who’s gonna fill there square toe boots? I see Luke Bryan losing popularity and wonder who’ll tell the country girls to shake it anymore? I here people talk about Cody Johnson and Tyler Childers and weep for the future and all the trucks that won’t have nutz and the coal that won’t be rolled.
It’s a sad day in America when even Jason Aldean is singing about serious crap. I was going to put a hole in the drywall I’m so mad, but I’ve matured. So I’m just gonna go put on my Chase Rice album, vape some clouds, and pour out some White Claw for the better times.
Jul 25, 2023
Jun 8, 2023
Succession Country Reaction Gifs
Mar 31, 2023
The CMT Awards or Wrestlemania? A Viewer's Guide
Mar 23, 2023
Blaxploitation Film Country Reaction Gifs
Mar 10, 2023
Days Gone By
Mar 8, 2023
Bubba Shot the TouchTunes
Bubba Shot the TouchTunes
©2023 Farce the Music Parody
We were all down at O’Brady’s bar
Tellin' stories if we had one
Someone fired the new TouchTunes up
The song it sure was a bad one
A sweat drop rolled down Bubba's nose
From the cringe the song was inflictin'
And all at once he jumped to his feet
Yelled “You’ve got to be shittin’!”
Bubba shot the TouchTunes last night
Said it played a bad song that got him riled
Went to his truck and grabbed his Armalite
Bubba shot the TouchTunes last night
Bubba ain't never been a fan
Of pop songs with twangy singin’
And he did not care for Thomas Rhett
So he let the bullets go slinging
He bought a round 'til the cops showed up
Was the toast of Beef O’Brady’s
We told him, “You know that was pretty dumb”
But our ears did appreciate it
Bubba shot the TouchTunes last night
Said it played a bad song that got him riled
Went to his truck and grabbed his Armalite
Bubba shot the TouchTunes last night
When the sheriff arrived with his swat team crew
Lookin’ for our troublemaker
He shook his head and said
"Bubba boy, you was always a hater”
A reckless discharge of a gun
And putting the public in danger
Bubba hollered out danger hell
Been worse if Luke Bryan was playin’
Bubba shot the TouchTunes last night
Said it played a bad song that got him riled
Went to his truck and grabbed his Armalite
Well, he shot the TouchTunes
Stopped it with ten shots
Bubba shot the TouchTunes last night
Well, he gave not a single shit
As that song machine died
Wasn’t no Waylon on that list
So it’s premeditated homicide
Bubba shot the TouchTunes
Stopped it with ten shots
Bubba shot the TouchTunes last night
Feb 21, 2023
Elderly Country Songs: Aaron Lewis, Tyler Childers, Kelsea Ballerini, Thomas Rhett
Follow You to the Buffet
Creaker
82nd Winter
Bottles and Burials
Aaron Lewis
Am I The Only One Left
Sizzler Every Saturday Night
Kelsea Ballerini
I Quit Driving
Edema (ft The Chainsmokers)
If You Fall Down (And You Can’t Get Up)
I Hate Hippity Hop Songs
Thomas Rhett
Something to Do About My Hands
When We’re 90
Put Ice On It
Have to Pee