Farce the Music: LOCASH

Showing posts with label LOCASH. Show all posts

Mar 30, 2020

Country Singers as Tiger King Characters

Idea and the first 5 of these by Hippies & Cowboys. Make sure to check out their podcast!

Mar 11, 2020

3 Up 3 Down: Chase Rice, Ingrid Andress, Midland, etc.

3 Up

Carly Pearce & Lee Brice “Hope You’re Happy Now”

No snap beats, no slang, real instruments. Lee and Carly’s hit is a pop-country duet full of heartache and harmonies. Their voices sound great together. It’s one of those sad songs that makes you feel good. Well done.

B+

Midland “Cheatin’ Songs”

We’re over their back story now - you either like their music or don’t. I do. This is a slice of 70s Bellamy Bros-esque goodness with steel guitar and modern slickness. The low key harmonies create just the right mood and there’s even a little self-awareness mixed into the lyrics. Midland is consistently one of the best mainstream artists out there and “Cheatin’ Songs” is another gem.

Ingrid Andress “More Hearts Than Mine”

Ain’t a whole lot country about this, but it’s a well-written and gets a lot more personal than most radio fare, bringing a fairly unique angle to relationship tunes. Andress’ delivery occasional veers toward that indie-pop style I hate so much, but never quite goes there and her conversational tone works well for the subject matter. Glad to see this song hit the top 10.

B+

3 Down

Jordan Davis “Slow Dance in a Parking Lot”

Standard issue dude pop-country, typical mid-tempo blah-ness, electronically affected vocals. This is pure boyfriend country. At least bro-country was loud and proud with its crappiness. This is dull and forgettable just like Jordan Davis would be without the beard.

Locash “One Big Country Song”

At least it doesn’t have snap beats? That’s a positive I suppose. Locash doesn’t sound particularly inspired …ever… but particularly on this anthem about the shared experiences and values of country fans. “Everybody knows the words to ‘Mama Tried’” is an actual lyric of this song and I guarantee you that 80%+ of Locash fans do not in fact know those words. Honestly, there are several songs much worse than this in the top 40 right now - I was just trying to avoid the usual suspects - but this is nothing you haven’t heard before.

C-

Chase Rice “Lonely if You Are”

Snap beats, typical bouncy R&B lite delivery. This is pretty much a Sam Hunt rip-off without Sam’s lyrical ability and likability (and I don’t care for any Sam Hunt songs, so that’s pretty rough). It’s a booty call song that somehow comes off both sleazy and sleepy. There are a few early Chase Rice songs that show some promise, before he was asking fine ass girls to slide on over or whatever, so one would hope he’d eventually dig a little deeper in his subject matter, but nah. Once a bro, always a bro.

Oct 30, 2019

Country Halloween Costumes

Aug 8, 2019

Where Y'all Sitting?

Jul 15, 2019

Monday Morning Memes: Thomas Rhett, Keanu, Dwight Yoakam

Jun 11, 2019

6 New Parody Album Covers: Riggs, Locash, Rhett, Conway, etc.

Apr 1, 2019

More Monday Memes: FGL, Lil Nas X, Locash, etc.

Feb 1, 2019

Women Not Making Good Enough Songs, Explains Dumbass

Jaxon Ward, local tool

Local moron Jaxon Ward thinks women are themselves to blame for country radio not playing them in great number in recent years. "Their songs are terrible," said the shitbird, 23, taking a puff from his gun-shaped vape mod. "They don't even use snap beats that much."

Ward, a huge fan of male-sung songs with "girl" in the title, explained that women just aren't making good enough songs for radio these days. "Look, I'm all about equal sex or whatever, but how can these chicks compete with songs about hooking up with chicks?" he laughed vacantly. "I mean there was that lesbian song from Little Big Town a couple years ago but that was perverted."

Based on which country chart you follow, solo women artists comprise between 5-10% of the total artists at any given time lately. There has been much discussion and consternation about this topic over the past couple years with little agreement on how to fix the problem or for some, if that even is a problem.

"I could care less. When they start putting out kickass songs then we'll talk," brayed the jackass, completely unaware of the existence of Ashley McBryde and Kacey Musgraves. "The ones I've heard are all shrieking about an ex or being shrill about wanting to be able to vote or something; it's really cringy. Why can't they put out cool shit like "Feels Like a Party" or "Bitches?""

At press time, the "single but always slinging pipe" Ward, was blasting Moonshine Bandits from his jacked up truck at a stoplight while staring down the top of the mom in the car beside him.