Showing posts with label LOCASH. Show all posts
Showing posts with label LOCASH. Show all posts

Feb 1, 2019

Women Not Making Good Enough Songs, Explains Dumbass

Jaxon Ward, local tool
Local moron Jaxon Ward thinks women are themselves to blame for country radio not playing them in great number in recent years. "Their songs are terrible," said the shitbird, 23, taking a puff from his gun-shaped vape mod. "They don't even use snap beats that much."

Ward, a huge fan of male-sung songs with "girl" in the title, explained that women just aren't making good enough songs for radio these days. "Look, I'm all about equal sex or whatever, but how can these chicks compete with songs about hooking up with chicks?" he laughed vacantly. "I mean there was that lesbian song from Little Big Town a couple years ago but that was perverted." 

Based on which country chart you follow, solo women artists comprise between 5-10% of the total artists at any given time lately. There has been much discussion and consternation about this topic over the past couple years with little agreement on how to fix the problem or for some, if that even is a problem. 


"I could care less. When they start putting out kickass songs then we'll talk," brayed the jackass, completely unaware of the existence of Ashley McBryde and Kacey Musgraves. "The ones I've heard are all shrieking about an ex or being shrill about wanting to be able to vote or something; it's really cringy. Why can't they put out cool shit like "Feels Like a Party" or "Bitches?"" 

At press time, the "single but always slinging pipe" Ward, was blasting Moonshine Bandits from his jacked up truck at a stoplight while staring down the top of the mom in the car beside him.


Sep 21, 2017

Point Break Country Reaction Gifs

 If Warchild won't shut up about
the new Dustin Lynch album

When the flight you're on shows CMT
instead of an in-flight movie

When you and a friend get into
Jason Isbell at the same time

Can you believe Chris Stapleton has
sold nearly 3 million albums?

What would it be like to go to
a LOCASH concert?

How do you feel about The Steel Woods?

Would you break up with a girl
who was a huge Sam Hunt fan?

Would you rather learn Spanish from scratch
or go to a Florida-Georgia Line concert?

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