Showing posts with label Chuck Wicks. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Chuck Wicks. Show all posts

Sep 15, 2010

Little Known Facts IV

Emily West wants you to stop stalking her on Twitter.

Taylor Swift's main concern in her career is seeking the adulation and respect of bloggers.

Billy Joe Shaver can play ping-pong with one arm tied behind his back and the other holding a beer.

90s counry star Michael Peterson wonders if you'd like to try BK's new Steakhouse Burger today.

The name Lady Antebellum, loosely translated in latin, means "pretentiously random."

Tim McGraw was born in Delhi.

At least 29 different Georgia, Alabama and Tennessee residents listed "Zac Brown Band" as their employer on last year's tax returns.

Chuck Wicks once looked out over a long autograph line and remarked to his bassist "Do you think we'll get to meet Josh Turner by 3?"

Garth Brooks is frequently brought to tears when critics say he is the cause of country music straying from its roots. He is also brought to tears by carpet burns, Hallmark commercials and very special episodes of The Cosby Show.

Big Kenny is nice.

Faith Hill is a very hands-on mother, says Felicia Ortega, one of the McGraws' Monday nannies.

May 31, 2010

Country Doppelgangers 5

This one's weird admittedly, but one of those doppelganger matching programs found this likeness. Justin Moore and Claire Danes. The facial structure is definitely very similar.

Sonny James and the happy little trees guy, Bob Ross.

"Hold That Thought" crooner Chuck Wicks and that guy from Third Eye Blind. My wife disagrees but I've always seen it.

Lee Brice and Jeremy Piven of Entourage.

Craig Morgan and Howdy Doody.

May 9, 2010

Snap Judgments: Promo Only Country Radio June

Holy crap. I expect your deep and abiding gratitude for suffering through this edition of future country single releases so you don't have to (unless you bravely follow some of the YouTube links). It's the worst bunch of slop I've had to subject my ears to thus far. I was literally slack-jawed with dismay half way through the set of songs. For example, Chuck Wicks' new song was far from the worst tune on the comp. I'm gonna stay far away from country radio in June and I'd advise you to do the same!

Here's the rundown:

Zona Jones - Prove Me Right
Zona tackles the rare and difficult "listing song" with his treatise about what he believes and how his woman's love is going to show him to be correct. Boring, cliché and boring are the three words I'd use to describe this song. D

Chuck Wicks - Hold That Thought
Chucky's comeback song finds him stepping into the "getting it on" song territory of Josh Turner and Billy Currington with less satisfactory results. While it sounds perfect for a slow white-person dance on a hardwood floor, Chuck's voice doesn't have the come-hither appeal of the aforementioned singers to pull off this bedroom burner effectively. And the line "why don't you lay back and fantasize about me" comes off twice as pervy as any lecherous line Jeff Bates ever sang. C-

Savannah Jack - I Know
Restless Heart redux? This definitely sounds like a throwback to 70's/80's pop country vocal bands and while that's somewhat refreshing amidst all the samey sounding popstuff that is current country, it's not that great of a tune. Nothing new lyrically, but this band may be worth watching down the line. C+

Ryan Bingham - The Weary Kind
Alt-country singer Ryan Bingham's Oscar winning marquis song from the Oscar winning movie Crazy Heart, The Weary Kind is a simple and heartbreaking glance at a broken soul. While I'd love to see this find a home on country radio, I also wish blowing on dandelions could grant your fondest desire. A

Rodney Atkins - Farmer's Daughter
See this review. D

Gwen Sebastian - V.I.P. (Barefoot Girl)
Gwen's "Mississippi Girl" without the specific locale reference. Catchy and pretty fresh sounding, I hope this song gains some, uh, footing. B-

Zac Brown Band - Free
ZBB annoyingly stretches out their smash-hit major label debut for yet another single. That said, it's a great song, perfect for this time of year. The live version (on their live album Pass the Jar and their previous iTunes exclusive) that incorporates Van Morrison's "Into the Mystic" is even better. Now get back in the studio! B+

Jason Mitchell - Slow & Steady
Kill me kill me kill me. Sorry about that. Back to the review. Jason sounds like the best singer from your high school show choir singing a Conway Twitty song at karaoke night. Except, the muzak version of Conway Twitty. D

Locash Cowboys - Here Comes Summer
No. D-

David Bradley - Soak It Up
This is probably what the result would be if Bruce Hornsby was tasked to write a country summer song. This guy makes Chuck Wicks sound gangsta. When did the whole pop invasion of country music become an adult contemporary invasion? F

Easton Corbin - Roll With It
An easy rolling Strait-esque mid-tempo track. Nothing new, but he sounds damn good rehashing previous kick-back classics. B-

Nathan Lee Jackson - Inside
More easy listening. If his voice wasn't different, I'd swear this was cross-country trekker Jimmy Wayne. I wonder if Nathan makes sure his purse and shoes always match. F

Dierks Bentley - Up On The Ridge
See this review. B

Alan Jackson - Hard Hat and a Hammer
Alan's meat and potatoes is the simple man song and here he delivers yet again. AJ's chugging right along doing what he does best and it is what it is. Enough cliches for ya? AJ could sing that line and make it sound AWESOME. B

Fast Ryde - Top Down
It's come to this. Jay Z proclaimed the death of autotune in rap music last year, after so much overuse of the voice altering production software. That didn't stop Fast Ryde from introducing autotune to "country" music. Sure George Strait used a little of it in "Stars on the Water" as a novelty to spice things a little, but here Fast Ryde serves it up as the main dish. Seriously, that's all this song brings to the table. The chorus makes Bucky Covington working a sudoku look smart. People, I'm running out of ways to say stuff sucks. F

Randy Houser - I'm All About It
As shallow as this song is, the more I hear it, the more I like it. Randy is a true talent who self-admittedly has to send cloying stuff like this to radio to get anything played. Given the choice of his crappy song and some of the previous crappy songs on this list, I'm going with Mr. Houser. C+

Josh Turner - All Over Me
Whereas Locash Cowboys and Fast Ryde's songs on this compilation are stupid summer movies made by C-List actors with a low budget, this song is a stupid summer movie starring Will Smith with a hundred-million dollar budget. Make sense? B-

Colt Ford - Chicken & Biscuits
I really don't know what to say at this point besides I really need a drink. This song is more country than half the other songs I've reviewed here, but it's a friggin' rap song. Chicken & Biscuits doesn't qualify as a guilty pleasure... I don't like it. I don't hate it either. I'm just really glad this is all over. Please help me. C-

Feb 9, 2010

Suggested new logos for country artists

FTM is always there for country stars. Here are some suggested new logos for come country singers and bands that we feel better represent them than their current artwork. Free of're welcome guys/girls! Click for a closer view.

Feb 1, 2010

Top 10 Things That Won't Be on Chuck Wicks' Next Release

10. Dueling fiddles

09. A duet with Lucinda Williams

08. An un-retouched cover photo

07. A healthy dose of steel guitar

06. A Hank Williams cover

05. Masculinity

04. A song you will fondly remember in 2011

03. The words "cocaine" or "whore"

02. Something written by Fred Eaglesmith

01. My hands

Nov 8, 2009

A Closer Look: CMAs

With the 43rd annual CMAs coming up Wednesday, FTM takes a look back at one of the scenes from last year's festivities. Here's a shot of Jake Owen, Julianne Hough and Jimmy Wayne presenting an award at last year's show. Looks lovely enough huh?

But let's see what a closer look reveals! (click here for a closer view)

Sep 15, 2009

Relative Size Charts: 12 & 13

Okay, so I stood up for Ms. Swift. She's a nice, talented girl who didn't deserve being disrespected.... but that doesn't change anything at FTM. :)

Aug 11, 2009

Fantasy Football Teams of the Country Stars

Fantasy football seems to get more and more popular every year. With the NFL season just around the corner, even some country stars have gotten into the act. FTM got ahold of the team names and logos from several of Nashville's biggest acts. See if you can match up the fantasy football team logo/name on the left to the team's owner on the right. Click on this link for a better view. Check your answers here!


Jul 12, 2009

Consolation Prizes

For those who didn't win the contest, here are a couple of consolation prizes. Feel free to use these wonderful and expressive banners in your signature on your favorite message board or forum!

Click for a closer view.

May 5, 2009

Chuck Wicks Exclusive!

An anonymous source sent me the lyrics for the lead single on Chuck Wicks' second album, due in November. Enjoy!

©2009 (not actually written by) Jimmy Wayne and Jay DeMarcus

I was so lost
Until you came until my world
The waves, they tossed
Until you quieted the storm, girl
I was a fool
But then again I'm just a man
This is for you
So put out your sweet little hand

Here, take my balls
I don't need 'em anymore
Wrap them in silk and keep 'em in your dresser drawer
You saved my life
So it's the least that I can do
Yeah, take my balls and I'll always sing this sweet for you

I'll rub your feet
Unless you want me to fold clothes
Tell me your dreams
I'll flush mine down the commode
Girl, listen here
I'm done with sports and cigarettes
No drinkin' beer
Let's just hold hands, cause who needs sex?

(Repeat Chorus)

Your love is the greatest thing I have ever known
Steal away my heart and my testosterone

Oh take my balls
I don't need 'em anymore
No baby, I don't want to know the Dallas Cowboys score
You are my life
So I'll watch Lifetime shows with you
Yeah, take my balls and sure, I'd love to have more tofu

Fun With Charts & Graphs

Click for closer view.

Apr 28, 2009


Here's some Chuck Wicks Photocrap.  And I mean... really, really Photocrappy...


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