Showing posts with label Satire. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Satire. Show all posts

May 17, 2019

Carl Outlaw, Real Country Fan, Reviews Tyler Childers’ “House Fire”

Unlike most songs Trailer sends me to review, I actually listened to this one, called "House Fire." I thought it was pretty good. Then I read that Tyler Childs has signed a deal with a major record label. So I listened too the song again and realized it wasn’t very good at all! Its weird how your taste can change from one minute to the next.

This song says something about “honey jump on my train.” I seem to remember some bro-country bro singing about a chick sliding her fine ass into his truck a few years ago. Or one dude singing about sticking his umbrella in a woman’s sink?!? Sounds like Tyler Childers has gone the same damn way! That’s to perverted for me! 


And don’t get me started about the production of this song! It’s all sparkles and shine and listen! You can actually hear every word and it sounds like they want everybody too like the song! What the hell?? Tyler is supposed to sing to 14 people and a chicken in a water district office parking lot for the rest of his days, not get popular! 


Why make it sound so pretty? I want it too sound like he’s singing through a shoe. I want the guitars to sound like all the strings are about to break and the guitarist doesn’t really know what he’s doing. I want there to be a cloud of dust come out of my speakers when I listen too the song. Their shouldn’t even be a drummer. And Tyler should forget some of the words and have to restart a verse, and they should leave that in the damn mix!! That’s country! Not this overproduced bullshit that Sturgill Simpson (that sellout) screwed up! 



Luke Bryan? Never heard of her! But from what I’ve heard about her, I imagine Tyler Childress will soon be on that same path. He’ll be shaking his butt in tight blue jeans and making preteen girls squeal and singing about how country his truck is or some shit. Its sad when you’re favorite artists get popular and change from what you liked about them. I hope he enjoys the money, but he won’t get another .00005 cents from me on Spotify!! I’m done.

Top Gun Country Reaction Gifs

Florida-Georgia Line? I stopped to pee there one time...

When you overhear somebody actually say out loud that Kane Brown is their favorite country singer

Country music has to evolve?

When you're confident in your sexuality and bond with your homie over Kacey Musgraves' music

Why do you love bluegrass so much?

♫ I'm leaving on a jet plane 
  
When she hears that you're a Bucky Covington fan

New Tyler Childers album on the way???

♫ I ain't no holy roller so I just use a bong 

Top 10 Signs You’re a Basic A** Country Girl

10. The bartender at a Nashville pedal tavern has cut you off before

9. You don’t remember what songs Kane Brown sang in concert, but he’s your favorite singer because he’s “sooo hot!”

8. You own more pairs of cut-offs than there are Presidents you can name

7. You missed work/class to cry and drink wine the day you found out Dustin Lynch has a girlfriend

6. The above concoction seems like the best thing ever

5. You’ve ever said “Y’all I’m literally dead”

4. There’s just something about a community college dropout in a lifted Raptor running a stoplight while cranking Florida-Georgia Line that makes you fall in love every time

3. You own 3 pair of boots with crosses on them and ain’t been to church in years

2. Your Jeep with a Yeti sticker and a deer decal has never left the pavement of Davidson county


1. You will gladly stand in line upwards of 3 hours to have your photo taken in front of some wings painted on a wall


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Inspired by this tweet from Country Hodge Podge:


May 16, 2019

Do You Have Any Last Words?




Why 1989 Was Better Than 2019

Country mullet 1989

Country mullet 2019

Kane 1989

Kane 2019

Fad 1989

Fad 2019

Social media 1989

Social media 2019


Keith Urban 1989

Keith Urban 2019

Country duo 1989

"Country" duo 2019

Lifted truck 1989

Lifted truck 2019

2Pac 1989

2Pac 2019


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