Showing posts with label Satire. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Satire. Show all posts

Jul 23, 2021

Important Legal Help Available!


Hank Jr. is Basically a Hip-Hop Artist


Brad Paisley Fan Purchases Larger Shirt from Merch Stand to Hide Swampass

Brad Paisley fan Jerry Potenza just returned to the merchandise stand for a second Brad Paisley t-shirt. “It’s to hide the swamp ass,” laughed Potenza, happily shelling out another $38 for a 3 XL black shirt with our country guitar hero shredding on the front and tour dates on the back. His wife was in possession of his other identical but size large t-shirt as well as a yard tall margarita.

After purchasing the second overpriced shirt, Potenza slipped into the bathroom and changed into it from his too-short-to-hide-the-expanding-sweat-pool-on-the-ass-of-his-cargo-shorts Columbia fishing shirt. “Ah that’s better,” he exhaled. “Why they chose to have a concert outdoors in Mississippi in July is beyond me.” 


With the thermometer still in the 80s and the humidity at 95% even at almost 9 PM, Potenza’s nether regions became a sauna and then a kiddie pool and then a reservoir of perspiration as he sat through openers Kameron Marlowe and Jimmie Allen. Now that he’s ready to stand up and shout along to songs like “I’m Gonna Miss Her” and “Online,” Jerry needs to be presentable to the people in the row behind him. 


“I don’t know them from Adam… well, that lady may go to my church but anyway, I may never see those people again, but that’s no reason to display the grayish stain spreading across the back middle seam of my St. John’s Bay khaki cargos to them.” he explained. 


Other concert goers reported similar issues as their pants, shorts, skirts, and jeans showed the clear signs of what happens when buttocks are in contact with seats in sweltering conditions. Many made the same trip to the merch booth as Jerry, but other less self conscious folks just let their moist freak flags fly. “It’s swamp ass for days,” laughed fellow show enjoyer Leslie Proctor. “Who cares? I’m druuuunnnnk.” 


At press time, Potenza was experiencing another unfortunate heat-related issue as his man parts refused to unstick from his leg. 


Jul 22, 2021

Sturgill Simpson's New Album Cover Revealed


or maybe it was...


Sanford & Son Country Reaction Gifs 2

One of the few trucks that doesn't have a bro-country song about it

When she says she's leaving you if you don't stop making fun of her for being a Kane Brown fan

When you get filled with the gospel of Paul Cauthen

Luke Combs on his deathbed

 A bad liver and a broken heart 

Boy turn that channel off CMT before I put these across yo lips

When there's Upchurch fans in the neighborhood

Drew Kennedy after he sold out and started writing for mainstream country*

Describe the first time you heard a Florida-Georgia Line song


*I kid. You know I love ya DK.

Jul 20, 2021

Ranking Country Duos with Steak


More Elderly Country Songs

Cody Jinks

Same Kind of Senile as Me


Dolly Parton

Shawl of Many Colors


Alan Jackson

(I Don’t) Remember When


Sam Hunt

Hottie With a Back Bowed


Gary Allan 

Nothing on But Some Bengay


Toby Keith

A Little Less Talk and a Lot More Nappin’


Trace Adkins

Nursing Home Badonkadonk

5 New Random Country Parody Album Covers

 *foul language warning*







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