Showing posts with label Satire. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Satire. Show all posts

Dec 23, 2025

Thoughts and Prayers


 

What Your Favorite Album of 2025 Says About You 2

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Tyler Childers - Snipe Hunt
You have a weird ass sense of humor but keep it under wraps at work. You’ve longingly stared out a rain streaked window while listening to this and considered calling your dad, but decided against it. When discussing this album online, you insist to detractors that there’s nothing political about it, but code switch around your liberal friends and mention Snipe Hunt’s “clearly anti-Capitalist” bent. You’re “Appalachia sober” (only drink moonshine when you’re around your old high school friends).

Parker McCollum - Self-Titled
You’re not exactly a country poser - you can put up a deer stand and your boots have been worked in - but you still reside on a cul-de-sac and drive a truck far too big and expensive for your needs. This is Parker’s first album in a while that you weren’t embarrassed to defend. Your girlfriend would drop you for him in a millisecond.

Chase Matthew - Chase
You fit the description of a bro-country fan circa 2014, but with a Malibu’s Most Wanted flair. Your parents are legitimately ashamed of you for multiple reasons, including the time you showed up to church in a white tee, gold chain, and sagging pants. Your girlfriend has been ‘about to turn 18’ for a couple years now. You don’t listen to Morgan Wallen, because he’s “too country.”

Jason Isbell - Foxes in the Snow
You sound like an NPR host in person, but every host of The View at once when you post on Threads or Bluesky. You’re torn between loyalty to Jason and your feminist obligation to believe Amanda on their whole divorce situation, so you just avoid the topic altogether. You’ve maintained friendships with MAGA folks, but have restarted your smoking habit so you can go outside when politics comes up at parties. You occasionally mix in some pop-country to lighten your mind, but only on YouTube so it doesn’t show up in your Apple Music history.

Jessie Murph - Sex Hysteria
You are the female version of a Chase Matthew fan. For some reason, you still drive your ex-boyfriend’s low rider. Your parents want you to put on a swimsuit with more bottom coverage when you lay out at the trailer park’s pool. You have a confederate flag tattoo above a Juicy tattoo on your thigh. You have been in more fights than the Paul brothers combined.



Dec 18, 2025

You Can't See Me in Luckenbach


 

Stranger Things Country Reaction Gifs

About to enter the function when you hear Bailey Zimmerman music playing

Surveying the scene after a Gavin Adcock show lets out

My version of gatekeeping country music

When you let your passenger DJ and they’ve got Jessie Murph on their playlist 

When mom’s making you go to a Thomas Rhett concert with her 

When you take the whole gummy somebody handed you at the Billy Strings show

When Reba needs a hit of corn dogs but her dealer says the price of business has gone up 

When you’ve mastered the bandanna and wispy hair part of your Willie cosplay 

Me looking at the country radio charts every week 

When you hear your attractive neighbors cranking Turnpike

Zac Brown??

When your girlfriend mentions Kane Brown tickets for Christmas 

Will never should’ve told the fellas he was a Dan + Shay fan, because they roasted him the entire trip

Dec 17, 2025

Oh Joy


 

What Your Favorite Album of 2025 Says About You



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Bailey Zimmerman - Different Night Same Rodeo
The only thing country about you is your accent and your area code. Any dents and dings on your vehicle are from being unable to properly parallel park in front of your favorite boutique. Your greatest stress in life is making sure you aren’t wearing the same outfit to the Tri-Delt party as one of your sorority sisters this Friday night. You’re sad Lane Kiffin left, but only because you thought he was kinda hot.

Turnpike Troubadours - The Price of Admission
You are a well-adjusted, thoughtful, upstanding citizen. You either have a loving family, or a happy single life with a great group of friends. You vote and take part in democracy and your community, and you don’t add to political divisions online. You put your shopping cart in the corral and help turtles across the road. You don’t care for 99% of pop-country but aren’t an asshole about it like Farce the Music.

Morgan Wallen - I’m the Problem
This is the only album released in the country category that you listened to this year, but you’ve somehow made it your personality. You think of yourself as emotionally vulnerable because you cried a little when Oklahoma beat Bama. Your parents consider you the responsible son because you have the least DUIs. Your girlfriend is pissed because you spent more on a neon kit for your truck than you did on her Christmas present.

Beyoncé - Cowboy Carter
You don’t care that this album came out in 2024 because you’re one of those people.*
*people who don’t know or care about actual country music

Blake Shelton - For Recreational Use Only
You stopped watching The Voice when Blake quit the show and you made such a big fuss, they banned you from the Facebook page. You worry more over your grandkids grades than they and their parents do. “Miranda Lambert” is the longest four-letter-word you know. Your recliner smells like potpourri and Virginia Slims.

Gavin Adcock - Own Worst Enemy
You say you listen to lots of old country music and also Gavin, but never showed anyone your Spotify Wrapped because that’s a lie. You’ve rarely voted but you have some strong opinions you need everybody to know about and hopefully disagree with so you can argue online just to feel something. You’re 27 but still hang out at Sonic with high school kids sometimes. Your mama wonders why you never go to church with her lately and you’re not about to tell her it’s because the music minister saw you selling what appeared to be a load of hot copper last June.

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