Showing posts with label Satire. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Satire. Show all posts

May 7, 2021

Seeing Luke Bryan Clearly


Gemini


 

The Band Perry Reveals Last 6 Years Have Been Elaborate Hoax

“Ha ha! Got ya!” laughed Kimberly Perry, lead vocalist of pop-country trio The Band Perry. “Y’all thought we’d lost our minds, huh?” Perry, clad in blue jeans, a Merle Haggard t-shirt, and a dark plaid tied around her waste, explained the long con in a short interview with us this week. 

“We’re back so y’all can play us again,” she smiled, jokingly elbowing the air as if dropping a big hint to country radio programmers. “This was all a prank Reid thought of.” Kimberly’s brother apparently came up with the idea in 2014, but only planned on the elaborate joke lasting for a year or so. 7 years later, the group is playing clubs and living off Covid stimulus checks. 


The Band Perry, on the strength of smash hits like “If I Die Young,” “Better Dig Two,” and “You Lie,” was quickly racing toward A-list status in the mainstream country realm. Suddenly, as if bored with success and money, things took a weird detour. In 2015, the trio suddenly took a hard turn toward pop music, cycling through various and increasingly strange and less country iterations and fashions over the next half decade, leaving fans and critics alike dumbfounded. 


“That tan era was my idea,” admitted Perry. “Looking back, it looked sorta incestuous; that was honestly pretty creepy …even for a hoax, which it really really seriously was.” “I’m not kidding now. We’re a country band. Can't believe y'all fell for it.” she followed.


Perry told us they truly did not intend to commit so fully to the practical joke. “I don’t even like electronic music, and I could puke looking at the photos from the ‘yellow’ era… we just kept daring each other to keep it going and keep it going… then the money started running out, so here we are.” explained Perry. “But it’s not about the money at all, I mean it; we just screwed up.”


While not currently signed to a major label, the group hopes the big reveal of the definitely authentic hoax will have the big companies back at their doorstep. “We want to open shows for boyfriend country singers, we wanna do radio tours, we wanna put out syrupy catchy murder songs again!” smiled Perry. “Please believe me that this was just a silly ruse.”


At press time, The Band Perry was planning to sell the prank as a non-fungible token, whatever that means.

May 6, 2021

Stylin' and Profilin'


Jerry Reed Gets a Bad Deal


Deliverance Country Reaction Gifs

*1 violent scene but not the one you think*

Radio station exec meeting with a new female country singer

When he says "listen to my Kane Brown record collection or die" and you have to consider it

I'm drowning in a whiskey river

Anyway, here's "Wonderwall"

So rock me mama like a wagon wheel

Ned is country radio. The hillbillies are bro-country.
(you know what's next)

Follow your arrow wherever it leads


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