Nov 15, 2019
If you buy Jason Aldean's new album on CD, make sure you shine it up real good
What does anyone see in Mitchell Tenpenny?
♫ ♬ You say you were wrong to ever leave me alone
Now you're sorry, you're lonesome and scared... ♫ ♬
If somebody plays Florida-Georgia Line on the bar jukebox
Sam Hunt has a new song
After listening to Thomas Rhett for .02 seconds
Trying to figure out how Dan + Shay is country
When somebody says black people are part of the history of country music*
Nov 14, 2019
Nov 13, 2019
Brad Paisley won’t be co-hosting the CMA Awards for the first time in a while tonight. While it’s possible he may make an appearance to joke about his own absence or something, here are a few guesses as to what he might be doing otherwise.
10. Plotting another comeback that stalls at 17 on the country chart
9. Playing Guitar Hero and killing White Claws
8. Writing jokes for his next mildly amusing comedy special
7. Eating bon bons and watching Disney+
6. Writing a new comedic song about Tik Tok, or Crocs, or how women are always shopping or some shit
5. Sticking pins in a Carrie Underwood voodoo doll
4. Staring proudly at his NAACP award for ending racism with LL Cool J’s help
3. Tweeting from a burner account about how bad the show is without Brad Paisley co-hosting
2. Wiping his tears with a wad of crisp hundred dollar bills
1. Changing his contact information so Peyton Manning will leave him the f*** alone
Nov 12, 2019
Nov 11, 2019
Nov 8, 2019
by Trailer - Originally posted on Country California, December 02, 2010
John Rich, of Big & Rich and songwriting and solo fame, is slated to perform at and do the flip-switching honors for the Mt. Richmore Christmas Tree Lighting. The December 5th ceremony will commence with a mini-concert from Cowboy Troy, Gretchen Wilson and Kid Rock w/ Sebastian Bach.
After igniting the resplendent purple and white LED beacons on the 20-foot Vermont balsam fir in the Mt. Richmore courtyard, superstar country singer John Rich will take the stage for a one-hour set of classic and contemporary country hits.
Food will be available for purchase in the right atrium of the courtyard, with special guest cook Cowboy Troy grilling steaks and lobsters for guests' enjoyment. And, of course, there will be several outlets for attendees to "get their drank on." In addition to a main bar in the left atrium of the courtyard, there will also be a mini bar at the food concession and three rolling liquor carts to serve guests as they enjoy the holiday festivities. For VIP guests, there will also be drinks available in the elevator and bathrooms.
"It's a huge honor to be at the head of the table, so to speak, for this great Christmas celebration!" beamed Rich at the press conference announcing the lighting. "Hopefully this will be an annual event... and I'd be happy to help out when I can, since it's for such a good cause."
All profits from the concert will go to the Middle Tennessee RJRB (Replenish John Rich's Bar) Foundation and guests will receive an autographed 8x10 glossy of the country megastar wearing a Santa suit. Tickets will not be available for purchase, but Rich himself will visit local high school and community college campuses to hand out entry vouchers to "talented" students and co-eds.
Wrapping up the press conference with a sales pitch, Rich smiled: "Come on out and celebrate Christ's holy birth, girls… uh, folks. Johnny Cash would be there if he was still alive."
Nov 7, 2019
When you stop and take a piss at the Florida-Georgia Line
When she says "You can come with me to the Luke Bryan concert, or you can GTFO."
♫ ♬ With the blood from my body, I could start my own still ♫ ♬
♫ ♬ There's a stranger in my house
Somebody here that I can't see ♫ ♬
When Burt says he'd rather listen to ABBA than the George Jones you've got on
After you shake hands with a hick-hop fans, it's best to inoculate yourself
♫ ♬ If he asks me to blow