(most of these are actual song titles from other artists)
Sep 20, 2019
Sep 19, 2019
When somebody says their favorite 'country' singer is Thomas Rhett
What's the best way to listen to an Old Dominion song?
Patiently listening to country radio to hear a country song
If you're a hick-hop fan expecting people to respect your taste
You don't like Charles Wesley Godwin?
When your office-mate is already playing Kane Brown when you get to work at 8
Highwomen had the #1 country album?
When my wife says they were playing bro-country in the store the whole time she was there and I laugh.
"Hell Right, Hell Right"
Cracker From Muskogee
The Tide Pod and the Damage Done
Chick-fil-a Took My Baby Away
(Okay, not a protest song, but it had to be here)
Hurt Me SoulCycle
Evviva Il Papa John’s
Talkin’ Colin Kaepernick Blues
I Was a Teenage Incel
Give Hashtags a Chance
Your Punisher Decal Won’t Get You Into Heaven
This Meme is Your Meme
Big Yellow Uber
Doxxing in the Name
Outrage of a Small Circle of Friends
De Keurig Man
Yasss Save the Queen!
White Claws for Peace
Would Jesus Wear a TAG Heuer?
Nike Punks F*** Off
Let’s Retweet the President
Hobby Lobby… the Punishment Due
Sep 18, 2019
Keith Urban = Dolph Ziggler
Stupid hair. Been around for a long time.
One of the most talented but always seems to let us down.
Dan + Shay = Glacier & Ernest Miller
Uh, there's two of them.
Good at something probably, but not their chosen field.
Kacey Musgraves = Becky Lynch
Badass. Stands up for women.
The diehards have always loved her, but she
just went big-time in 2018.
George Jones = Jeff Hardy
One of the greats. Known for showing up in bad shape or not at all.
Has had his photo taken in front of a wall at the police station several times.
(Thanks to Cherryll Batty for this idea!)
Morgan Wallen & Hardy = The Godwinns
Nobody can be this redneck in real life.
Zac Brown = Baron Corbin
Dresses stupid. Not much hair.
Pretty talented but so damn annoying that you honestly just want him to go away.
Kane Brown = The Gobbledy Gooker
Hyped heavily. Made a big splash at first, but once everybody found
out he was lame, nobody was interested any more.
Sep 17, 2019
Sep 16, 2019
Sep 13, 2019
*Considering the thousands of memes created and eleven years FTM has been around,
I've probably made this exact meme before somewhere along the way. Don't care.*
A viral video from a recent Morgan Wallen concert has tongues wagging and fans swooning. No, it’s not the clip of the cute little girl singing Wallen lyrics. It’s a 24 second video of the up-and-coming mullet-headed country singer reciting the Pledge of Allegiance, and the reactions have been perplexing.
On the video, Wallen appears, hand on chest before a waving flag on the back screen, saying those familiar words we all learned in grade school. His band softly plays “America the Beautiful” and the crowd is hushed as the solemn words fill the amphitheater. They erupt when he’s finished, and more than a few posted the moment to YouTube almost immediately.
In the 72 hours since its posting, the clearest of the videos has garnered 105,000 views and 150 comments. It has also spread on Facebook and Twitter over the past couple days. Many of the responders seem convinced that Wallen himself wrote the pledge, which was originally composed by Capt. George Thatcher Balch during the Civil War.
Lucy Griffiths of Waco, TX, said on Facebook: “This man makes me so proud to be an American. How has know one every written a love poem for the flag before? (Sic)” Her post had 10k views, 250 shares, and 56 comments, all fawning over the supposed Wallen-scribed pledge. This was one of hundreds of posts, most describing Wallen as the “ultimate patriot” or “more smarter than most dudes what wears sleeveless shirts.”
Twitter was also abuzz, featuring many tweets like the 2 above. Another, from ILucyWallen said “first he wrote the beautiful “Cover Me Up” (editor's note: actually written and recorded first by Jason Isbell) and now this!! Morgan is an artistic genius, full stop.” Patriotic party-poopers soon ratioed the Morgan Wallen fans into deleting the tweets or quitting Twitter.
At press time, Wallen’s camp had no comment on the viral video, and he was reportedly busy working a shift at his friend’s fireworks stand.
Sep 12, 2019
When he says he's going to Cody Jinks with his friends and not taking you
How long since you've heard a country song on country radio?
When Jack's been listening to Kane Brown
What's it like to listen to the new Jason Aldean song?
When your mother says new country is better because her era was all twangy and sad.
She's cranking up "Huntin', Fishin', and Lovin' Every Day" but
When Stapleton then Strait or Reba play in a row on the CMA Awards and you feel like the king of the world, but
there's a Florida-Georgia Line iceberg on the way
There's some kind of metaphor for country radio here