Showing posts with label Tammy Wynette. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Tammy Wynette. Show all posts

Oct 10, 2023

Overly Politically Correct Country Songs: Zach Bryan, George Jones, Tammy Wynette, etc.

The One I Loved Back Then (The Prius Song) - George Jones

I Always Get Consent From You - Merle Haggard

Try That in a Commune - Jason Aldean

Your Repressed CIS Woman’s Gonna Throw Off the Reins of Patriarchy - Tammy Wynette

Xir Name Is - George Jones

Life Ain’t Fair and Capitalism is Evil - Sturgill Simpson

Sold (The Grundy County Sex Trafficking Incident) - John Michael Montgomery

I Bear a Lot of Shame in What I Am - Merle Haggard

Ahab the Man of Middle Eastern Decent - Ray Stevens

Rolex® on a Rural White Southerner - Brantley Gilbert

Young CIS Males of Misplaced Belief - Zach Bryan

Free and Privileged (Down the Road I Go) - Dierks Bentley

Paint Me a Portland - Tracy Lawrence

Ruby I Understand You Have Needs I Can No Longer Fulfill - Kenny Rogers

The Happiest Colonizer - Donna Fargo

Which One O’ You Nice LGBTQ Members Cares to Give Me Fellatio? - Wheeler Walker Jr.

Voluntarily Unattached Caucasian CIS Woman - Chely Wright

Tofu Night at the Prairie Rose - Mike & The Moonpies

Impossible Burger in Paradise - Jimmy Buffett

My Fellow Wrongly Incarcerated Roommate Has Expressed Interest in a Relationship - Cledus T. Judd

Aug 12, 2022

Man Who Makes Sure You Know He’s Too Good for Country Music Adores Theory of a Deadman

Mr. Burns' "Best Songs Ever" playlist
Jesse Burns, 39, of Lowell, MA, has unparalleled taste in music and wants you to know so. “All country music sucks, so who cares? Only slack jawed Trumpers listen to that crap.” commented the divorced dad of two on a Farce the Music Facebook meme about country music. His comment received one thumbs up, 2 laughing faces, and 8 angry faces. 

The meme showed up in his timeline due to a former high school friend Jesse forgot to unfollow sharing it. Incensed that he should be reminded of the mere existence of country music, Mr. Burns made sure to make his high falutin opinion known to all. He has far too refined sensibilities for even one person on earth to think he could listen to the addle brained yawping of sister sexing hillbillies. 

“That shit blows ass,” said Burns when we sent him a PM asking politely for some explanation. “LOOOL, you need to get a life, f**king redneck.” Since we couldn’t get Burns to engage in a civil conversation about his disdain of country music, we decided to analyze his supposed stellar taste.

His Facebook profile page was partially public and a recent post bragged excitedly of getting tickets for the upcoming Louder Than Life festival in Kentucky. He specifically mentioned his excitement about seeing those paragons of music, Theory of a Deadman, for the 9th time. He was also hyped about Chevelle, Ghostemane, Sevendust, Pop Evil, Papa Roach, Shaman’s Harvest, and whoever Yungblud is. 

Clearly a man of unquestionable artistic preferences, Jesse Burns is far too intelligent and cultured for the inbred idiocy of Kris Kristofferson, or the uneducated foolishness of Merle Haggard, or the bland white trash stylings of Tammy Wynette. 

We also found Jesse’s public Spotify playlist entitled “Best Songs Ever.” Prominently featured are the aforementioned Theory of a Deadman who are definitely not a subpar Nickelback cover band. It also includes the stylings of Hinder, Saving Abel, and whatever a Crossfade is. Obviously this man is far too sophisticated for the moonshine swilling moronicness of Guy Clark, or the trailer park platitudes of Dolly Parton, or the barely literate ponderings of Tyler Childers. 

At press time, Jesse Burns was cursing at his ex-wife on the phone with a Sam Adams in hand, while Buckcherry blared in the background. But at least he doesn’t like country.

Apr 6, 2022

Overly Politically Correct Country Songs

No serious commentary from either side of the aisle, please. Just having fun with language. 


Birthing Person, My Partner is Mentally Ill - The Judds

Wichita Lineperson - Glen Campbell

C-O-N-S-C-I-O-U-S U-N-C-O-U-P-L-I-N-G - Tammy Wynette

Quing of the Road - Roger Miller

Good Hearted Adult - Waylon Jennings

Caucasian Tonkin’ - Hank Williams

Xe Stopped Loving Xir Today - George Jones

Seven Latinx Angels - Willie Nelson, Ray Charles

Parent Tried - Merle Haggard

Native American Person Impacted by the Justice System - Tim McGraw

If the Afterlife Isn’t a Lot Like the Southeastern United States - Hank Jr.

I Am a Person of Constant Sorrow - The Soggy Bottom Boys

Folically Blessed Rural Resident - David Allan Coe

You Ain’t Womxn Enough - Loretta Lynn

Gestational Parents, Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Cowpersons - Waylon & Willie

Dec 3, 2021

Had a Mullet / Should've Had a Mullet 3

 Part 1                 Part 2

Had a mullet

Had a mullet

Should've had a mullet

Had a mullet

Had a mullet

Should've had a mullet

Had a mullet

Should've had a mullet

Should've had a mullet

Definitely had a mullet


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