Showing posts with label Tammy Wynette. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Tammy Wynette. Show all posts

Jun 27, 2018

If (Classic Country Song) Was Bro-Country


Since bro-country seems to be making a slight return this summer, it seems like a good time to bring back this feature.

If (Classic Country Song) Was Bro-Country
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Patsy Cline - She's Got You

I've got your picture
That you Snapped to me
Screen-shot it with love
Showed it to my homies
Ain't nothing different
Since we've been through
I've got your picture
It's a nude




Waylon & Willie - Mammas Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Cowboys

Mammas don't let your babies grow up to soyboys
Don't let 'em dip pouches or vote for no cucks
Let 'em be hotties and frat boys and such
Mammas don't let your babies grow up to soyboys
'Cause they'll never lift, bro, and they'll never roll coal
They won't even drive a truck




Tammy Wynette - Stand By Your Man

Stand by your man,
In cut off shorts that cling to,
That shaker mama gave you 
Move that thing like a pony




Dwight Yoakam - Guitars, Cadillacs

Now it's roll bars, rifle racks, Lil Dicky music
Dusty gravel roads that I chill on
Yeah my roll bars, rifle racks, Lil Dicky music
Keep this party lit till the night is gone


Jun 15, 2018

Keith Urban Vandalizes Country Music Hall of Fame


Country music superstar Keith Urban was arrested Thursday for causing nearly two million dollars worth of damage at Nashville's Country Music Hall of Fame. Urban, 50,  was booked on charges of felony vandalism, trespassing, and destruction of property. He was released after posting $250,000 bail. A court hearing is scheduled for June 20.

Witnesses say they were surprised to see Urban strolling through the facility alone. That wasn't the strangest thing they'd see. "A few people immediately recognized him and were crowding around for autographs," said museum guest Carl Jenkins. "I thought it was weird he was out in public without security… and he was wearing this big whop-sided backpack with box-cutters and stuff falling out of it."

Carl said Urban took a ball-peen hammer from his pack and asked the surrounding crowd to please excuse him. "He climbed over the barrier and smashed the shit out of Hank Williams Sr's guitar," said Jenkins. "It was crazy, there wasn't nothing left but wire and sawdust when he was through."

Urban then defaced at least 15 of the bas relief Hall of Fame member plaques, including Fred Rose, Tammy Wynette, and Don Schlitz, spray painting such things as phalluses and the word "fart" across them. He also sprayed deer scent all over the iconic "Will the Circle Be Unbroken" inscription with a Super Soaker water gun. 

Before leaving the Hall, Urban also hurled DeFord Bailey's harmonica down a hallway, poured a kale smoothie on several Nudie suits, and cut all the fringe off one of Patsy Cline's outfits. 

Museum staff and security never intervened during Urban's rampage because they thought he was just 'pushing the boundaries of his art or filming a prank show or something.' When all was said and done, however, the Kiwi country guitar slinger had caused real and lasting damage on country's hallowed halls. Urban was taken into custody without incident at his home later that evening. 

While neither Urban nor his wife Nicole Kidman could be reached for comment, Keith's manager told us he doesn't expect Keith's reputation or career to take a hit over the situation because he's very handsome and such a good guitar player.


Apr 2, 2018

Monday Memes: Let's Get Obvious!

First off all, I think these popular country memes are stupid. I didn't start them and I won't retweet them or post them on our Facebook page.


That kind of stuff's way too obvious for me. I like satire and weird, twisted humor. That's why we'll never have millions of followers too, but that's a story for another day. Anyway, here are my own versions of the currently viral "Obvious Country Music Lyric Memes."









Sep 16, 2016

Country Graphic Design Nerd Humor


@TheJackalopeTX sent me this. 

So of course I had to make a bunch of my own typeface/country song mashups. 
Random and nerdy, but what else would you expect from us?








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