Farce the Music: David Allan Coe

Jul 26, 2024

Tragic Accident Strikes as Woman is Released from Prison

West Memphis, AR- A heart-wrenching incident unfolded yesterday when a woman was tragically killed just moments after being granted her freedom from prison.

Eyewitnesses report a scene filled with anticipation that quickly turned to horror and sorrow as the woman, identified as 62-year-old Lindy Cole, was struck by a train while heading to meet her son. According to local authorities, Lindy was set to reunite with her son, Allan, who had arrived at the station to pick her up after years of incarceration for arson and tax fraud.

In an unfortunate turn of events, while Allan was on his way to the station in his pickup truck, Lindy attempted to cross nearby train tracks and was hit by a southbound Canadian National. "It was pouring rain, and she probably didn't even see it," stated bystander Steven Good, who witnessed the tragic accident. "I heard the train horn but it was too late. It's like some sad a** country song; it was all that I could do to keep from crying."

As the news broke, emotions ran high in the community, with many expressing their condolences for the family. Allan, who stumbled out of his step-side F-250 at the scene seemingly intoxicated, was devastated after learning of the loss. Friends say he had long awaited this moment, and the tragedy has left him bereft. "Dave - it's a nickname - we don't call him by his real name..." said friend Jon Pine. "He's utterly ruined and I hope we can get him to hang around town a while and maybe consider therapy."

Emergency services responded promptly, but Lindy was pronounced dead at the scene. Investigations into the incident are ongoing, with authorities looking into factors such as "it raining as hard as a cow pissing on a flat rock" (according to eyewitnesses) and crossing barriers that were "nearly useless to remain."

At press time, funeral arrangements for Lindy Cole are pending, with family and friends devastated by the ironic and dark turn of events.