Showing posts with label Donald Trump. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Donald Trump. Show all posts

Sep 5, 2024

Presidential Country Reaction Gifs

*and Vice-Presidential and just Candiditial, if that's a word

When somebody lectures me about an inaccuracy in a Jason Aldean meme like I'm Wikipedia or something

Tell the truth Jimmy. You hit one with Willie too I bet.

Is Post Malone's new album somehow better than most mainstream country yet disappointing at the same time?

If there's ever a Billy Strings concert in The Sphere

Sam Hunt, how would you describe your vocal style?

Them: You've only listened to the new Zach Bryan album once? You can't be serious.

Me:

When your friends get so drunk at the state fair, they're considering going to see the free Warren Zeiders show

Dick, what do you think of them putting strings in country songs and not calling it pop?

Morgan Wallen fans at the spelling bee


Aug 23, 2024

New Americana Band Trying Too Hard to Appeal to Hick-Libs

In a music industry increasingly entwined with the political landscape, the latest five-member Americana band, The Brambles, is making headlines—not for their tunes, but for their strained attempts to connect with a hip ‘new’ liberal audience. Despite their clear intent to stick to their roots in storytelling and traditional melodies, the band finds itself navigating a minefield of political expectations that they seem ill-equipped to handle.

Formed just two years ago in the Florida panhandle, The Brambles consists of lead vocalist and guitarist Jake E. Thompson, rhythm guitarist Scruffy Hanks, bassist Burton Longfellow, drummer Louis Perkins, and multi-instrumentalist Barry Weed. With influences ranging from Johnny Cash to The Avetts, their sound is rich with heartfelt lyrics and a nostalgic Americana vibe. 


However, as the political discourse continues to intensify across the nation during campaign season, the band's management is pushing them to find a core fanbase. In a recent interview, Thompson candidly admitted, "We’re not really a political band. We just want to make music about whiskey and beards and square body pickup trucks. But we’re never going to be on the radio, so our manager says we need to cultivate an influential/perpetually-online audience of rural liberals who own guns and drink pour-over coffee.”


In what some might call a series of goofy missteps, the band has worn Che Guevara shirts, donned stupid looking hipster hats, and ghermed the hell out of Jason Isbell in attempts to find the good graces of “hick libs.” From awkwardly phrased tweets about social justice (“Stop the violence in the middle west!” - a tweet which was never deleted) to clumsy attempts at engaging with trending political issues (shoehorning “Walz” in to their song about waltzes), their efforts have routinely missed the mark, leaving fans scratching their heads. 


In a recent concert in Austin, Texas, the band attempted to rally the crowd with an AI written speech about climate change before launching into their upbeat single, “Hurricane Party.” The audience's response was mixed, with some cheering enthusiastically while others exchanged puzzled looks. “They’re good musicians, but I left the show very confused.” said fan Ida Contigo, “The drummer was eating Chick-fil-a while wearing a homemade “F*** Donald Trump” shirt before the show.”


Despite the backlash, The Brambles remain optimistic. “Barry’s been wearing that camo Harris/Walz cap and we put an old pomade logo on the drum kit - I think our fans are getting an idea of the demographic we covet,” Longfellow said. “Not that any of us have ever voted before or know what intersectionality is.” Despite wishing to let their music speak for itself, they continue to test styles and messages in order to find a steady flow of income. As the band continues to tour and cultivate their fanbase, it remains to be seen whether they will find a way to authentically connect with their audience or just become a Farce the Music meme. For now, their plight serves as a reminder of the challenges faced by artists trying to navigate the often contentious intersection of music and politics in today's world.


At press time, Barry was attempting to bait Kid Rock into an online argument despite owning 6 of his albums.


Jul 1, 2022

Pop-Country Singer Praying Interviewer Won’t Ask Any Political Questions

A sweat bead forms at the widow’s peak of a famous pop-country singer as he fidgets in his chair. It’s the first in-person interview with someone who isn’t Bobby Bones he’s done in a while. The crooner’s handler politely asked the host to avoid a few potential land mines in the discussion, but the singer sees some shiftiness in the questioner’s eyes. 

He says a quick prayer in his head that there won’t be any questions about abortion, guns, the infield shift, Donald Trump, Morbius, LGBT rights, or any other hot button topics. Amen. 


After a brief warm greeting and small talk, the interview begins. Deep breath. 


“What do you think about the trans…” (OH GOD) “…ition from the party hearty days of bro-country to the more muted sound of your music these days?” he asks. (WHEW!) 


He’s got this one. He can flash those pearly whites and rest his fingers on his scruffy chin and knock that answer out with vague aplomb and goofy charm. No worries so far.


“You once toured with Morgan Wallen as your opener. Care to discuss when he said…” (OH SHIT) “that he considers you a role model and kind of a mentor?” is the follow up question.


The sweat bead has now split the singer’s eyes and rolled to the tip of his nose. He wipes it off with the sleeve of his $95 plain white t-shirt. Softball question, thank God. Media training prepared him for this, how to be humble and full of praise. Oh, and mention how much Morgan Wallen has grown since the incide…. NOOOOOOOO. Don’t even think about opening that door! Just keep it short and graceful.


“Now let’s get a little personal” says the interviewer. “Do you think a woman should have the right to choose…” (OH SHIT OH DAMN OH F@4% HELP ME MARY AND JOSEPH!) “what restaurant you’re going to on a date?” he asks.


There’s an audible massive exhale, like an NFL lineman stood on one of those camping mattresses with the valve open or something. He looks at his watch. 14 minutes and 35 seconds of the allotted 15 have expired. He’s made it. No controversies, no cancellations, no major missteps. He feels his heart rate settle.


“One last question: boxers or briefs….”


May 20, 2022

Why 1992 Was Better Than 2022

Dallas 1992

Dallas 2022

Duo featuring a "Dan" 1992

Duo featuring a "Dan" 2022

Inarticulate Joe 1992

Inarticulate Joe 2022

Crazy Don: 2022 / 1992

Walker 1992

Walker 2022

Gas Prices 1992

Gas Prices 2022

Rappers 1992

Rappers 2022



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