Showing posts with label politics. Show all posts
Showing posts with label politics. Show all posts

Oct 15, 2021

Aldean Welcomes Thousands of New Fans Who Think He Sucks

Country superstar Jason Aldean is used to the adoration of throngs of pop-country fans across the country who dig his brand of rocked-up twangy bravado, but in recent weeks he’s experiencing something new altogether: new fans who can’t stand his music.

“I’ve never even considered listening to Jason Allen [sic] before I heard he had expressed beliefs publicly that aligned with my own,” said Tara McAllen of Gore Springs, MS. “Now I’m thinking about giving him a shot.” She went on to say that despite being a fan of traditional country and Americana, she was open to seeing the error of her ways. 

Many people across social media shared similar thoughts throughout the week. When country satire site Farce the Music shared a non-political but negative meme about Aldean, dozens of previous non-Aldean-fans expressed their disdain. “I always new you was a damn liberal…unfollowed!” replied Instagram user effyoubrandon, despite the meme having not even a whiff of partisanship. “Effyoubrandon” also added a photo of himself proudly wearing some of Aldean’s “Anti Biden Social Club” gear. 

The trend of music fans putting ideology over art isn’t a recent one (think Dixie Chicks), but has grown as Americans split into camps over issues such as vaccines, gender, and Machine Gun Kelly. It seems many would rather listen to an artist devoid of any depth, talent, or uniqueness simply to “own the libs/repubs.” 

When reminded that he’d frequently told outspoken artists Jason Isbell and BJ Barham to “shut up and sing” in the past, Brad Harbor of Panama City, FL retorted “Yeah, but they hate America. Jason Aldean may be a philandering, bloated, mediocre, angry meathead, but at least he knows the damned election was stolen! I can’t wait to go to one of his shows and get drunk enough to tolerate him!” 


At press time, Luke Bryan was attempting to formulate a mildly controversial opinion.


Oct 8, 2021

Woke Mob Destroys Jason Aldean Albums in Protest

A mob of unruly woke folks staged a protest in front of country singer Jason Aldean’s record company yesterday. They were clearly upset that Aldean had recently been using his 1st amendment rights to criticize President Joe Biden, speak out against mask mandates, and generally promote all sorts of dangerous freedom.

The blue haired and heavily masked troupe staged their protest on Grand Avenue beside the building that houses the office of Broken Bow Music Group, snarling the already terrible traffic near the intersection with Music Square West. 


“We’re here to demand Aldean’s immediate dismissal from the label, and to show our disdain for his very existence.” said Rachel Portnoy, a community developer from Hackensack. 


On cue, a short convoy of Nissan Leafs, Toyota Priuses, and Chevy Volts proceeded down Grand in Portnoy’s direction. She and an assistant, Pierre Effete, stepped off the curb carrying large boxes of Jason Aldean CDs. They dumped the albums directly into the path of the environmentally responsible parade and stood back as the cars crushed them into a pile of acrylic, polycarbonate, metallic film, and torn album liners. One Leaf became stuck in the pile and had to be pushed out by protestors some workers from across the street.


Formerly quiet on the subject of politics, superstar Aldean has recently been more outspoken, cheering on audiences for flouting mask mandates, allowing his children to be photographed in “Hidin’ from Biden” t-shirts, and defending his wife’s sale of said shirts (among other more forcefully worded shirts). “We’re just fed up with his inflammatory speech; while we support responsible free speech, people who disagree with our particular viewpoints clearly cannot handle the freedom.” said Effete, a barista from Belle Meade.


When told that the protest might be bringing previously unknown awareness of Aldean’s politics to a segment of people who’d likely become fans because of those beliefs, Portnoy seemed dismissive. “If this does nothing besides trend on Twitter for 2 hours and improve our cred inside our bubble of influence, then we’ve done our job,” she smirked.


Over on the sidewalk, Pierre attempted to snap an Aldean CD in half with his bare hands, but was unable to break the disc and simply threw it to the concrete before picking it up and placing the pieces in the recycling bin.

Aug 9, 2021

Unsanctioned Memes: Hank Jr., Luke Combs, Outlaw Country

These three memes have been in the "should I post them or should I not?" bin for a couple weeks. They are either really dark or touch on political stuff that'll probably get me yelled at, so here... I'm posting them all in one spot so you can complain.





Jul 30, 2021

Anti-Capitalist Country Singer Dismayed by Lack of Airplay

YouTube country sensation Dexter Youngblood keeps hitting a glass ceiling. According to the singer of “My Big Ol’ Truck,” country radio refuses to play the song, which has amassed 1.3 million plays on the video site. “I know it seems hypocritical to seek fortune for my hard work, but capitalism is compulsory at this point in history in America, so why not attempt to spread my message?” asked the Oregon native. 

The song, a modern sounding pop-country anthem complete with snap beats and talk-singing, promotes a community based enjoyment of his ’22 Ford F-150 Lightning for partying, trips to ‘parades,’ and helping out ‘people like us.’ While innocent on the surface, there are mentions of the color red, stars, and hammers that let you know Youngblood is adept at symbolism.


“Frankly, it’s a non-starter.” said industry insider Jova Marks. “While the song is innocuous enough and it bangs and slaps and whatnot, mainstream country now is as much based on image and personality, so a little digging by country fans who are predominantly conservative, would end Youngblood’s career before it gets off the ground.”


A press release sent to Farce the Music from Youngblood’s PR stated that his debut album For the Common Good is set for release in November. It will include songs with such titles as “We Can End It, Girl,” “Can I Smash (Capitalism),” “Burn Down My Hometown,” and a cover of Drive-by Truckers’ “Ramon Casiano.” 


The album will not be free, despite Youngblood’s close-held belief system. “My parents cut off my allowance because of a little drug issue I had, and I don’t want to lose my second house, so yeah, I’m participating in capitalism …but it’s a necessary evil for now,” he said, brushing a white powder off the sleeve of his Che Guevara t-shirt. 


At press time, Youngblood told us “I really don’t know why radio won’t play my music, but I bet its because I’m asexual.”

Apr 29, 2021

Riqqy Sqaggs Parody Album Covers

Besides doing a bit of satire on the more ridiculous aspects of politics, Farce the Music doesn't generally make fun of peoples' beliefs on either side of the aisle. However, conspiracy theory BS is fair game. 





Jan 22, 2021

Americana Bands Suddenly Back Singing About Farm Implements and Black Lung

Almost as quickly as they’d flipped the ideological switches 4 years ago, Americana artists this week returned to familiar pastures, turning their attentions from Donald Trump to subjects more native to the genre. Just like that, well-meaning but sometimes overwrought protest anthems were replaced by the sweet sounds of murder ballads and odes to ghost cowboys.

Some 35 new singles showed up in this writer’s Spotify Release Radar this morning from roots and folk artists, nary a one of them mentioning a “Cheeto” or border walls. Almost as if some dark cloud lifted from their minds, the lyrics of their songs suddenly saw tractors plowing the earth, drunks lamenting their lost loves, and coal miners praying for salvation on their death beds. 


Jason Isbell began work on his promised album of Georgia artist cover songs, even finding himself jovial enough to cover Charlie Daniels’ “A Few More Rednecks.”  BJ Barham of American Aquarium announced that his band was working on a new EP completely themed around North Carolina State’s signature wins in football (may have to be reduced to a single IMO). Even Will Hoge cracked a smile, vowing to release an album of songs about old pickup trucks and moonshining this March.


For his part, country and Americana legend Steve Earle was way ahead of the curve. “Oh I knew the emperor’s end was coming and it was time to get back to what we do best - and that’s singing about things from the 1950s as if they’re still relevant.” Indeed, Earle’s last 4 albums have been either covers or songs about trains, mining, and medicine show barkers.


At press time, producer Dave Cobb was booked from now until Labor Day 2023. Americana is healing. 

Jan 15, 2021

FGL Once Again Unites Divided America in Hatred of Their New Song

Against all odds, hit country duo Florida-Georgia Line has once again brought together a frayed United States of America. Despite differences of opinion on subjects that hold together the very fabric of democracy, citizens of this great country put aside their differences, if only for the amount of time they could stomach the song, to announce their unbridled hatred of the act’s latest release entitled “New Truck.”

Across social media, shared disgust and cries for decency rang out as the insipid hip-hop flavored pop-country turd filtered through the populace. Neither Donald Trump, nor Joe Biden, nor an actual Constitutional crisis could divide a thoroughly repulsed nation as they uniformly decried Brian Kelley and Tyler Hubbard’s two-and-a-half minute journey through hell.

“We’re better than this,” said Biden-voter Verna Jackson. “I know things are tough right now and some people are trying to ignore the people’s will, but I will join hands with Republicans to cleanse America of this threat to our sanity and sense of decorum.”

“They should be censored!” shouted anti-censorship activist Carl Wilberson. “While I’m okay with all sorts of ‘deviant’ and ‘dangerous’ art and speech being allowed in the public forum, this goes beyond the limits of human decency. They should be put on house arrest for life.”

“It's injurious to the republic,” said Republican Ginnie Marks. “I’ve become more open-minded to differing viewpoints and I understand that people have their own opinions and lifestyles, but this is just sickening.” She went on to say that she’d turn in a gun or two if the song could be banned and purged from existence. 

For a moment, all Americans stood upon a shining hill, arm in arm, neither ethnicity nor gender nor religion separating us in our shared sense of aversion. 

At press time, a Florida-Georgia Line fan who told Americans to “just not listen to it” had been taken into custody by the FBI.

Oct 9, 2020

Americana Singer Actually Should Shut Up and Sing

Roots rock singer/songwriter Alessa Torrance is facing a problem not new to artists of her ilk. Fans and casual listeners alike are constantly telling her to “shut up and sing.” In most cases, that phrase is used to express discomfort with the political opinions a singer is putting forth on social media or between songs at concerts. However, in Alessa’s case, it seems like a good idea.

“She’s always talking about her toenail fungus.” said Jerry Lucas, a fan of Torrance since 2008. “It’s really disgusting and I’d rather hear her misguided opinions about the border wall than foot hygiene.”


Another concert-goer told us Alessa was obsessing about a mole on her back during the show he attended. “She even stopped mid-song one time to pull her shirt up and show it to an RN in the audience.” said Bill Phillips of Des Moines, “She was convinced it was skin cancer, but I just wanted her to entertain me.”


Many country and Americana singers are met with disapproval for sharing their thoughts on Donald Trump, Joe Biden, Covid-19, the economy, and other topics in these divided times. Artists such as Tyler Childers and Chris Stapleton have faced backlash for their songs and comments regarding racial tensions. Perhaps Ms. Torrance is the proper focus of this ire. 


“My snot is green… is that normal????” read a concerned tweet from Torrance this past Tuesday. She has also had recent rants and worry sessions about: periods, migraines, pimples, a bout of diarrhea, ingrown hairs, toilet paper, scabs, nausea, and many other personal matters.


“I’d rather have her call me an inbred idiot for supporting Trump than listen to her talk about ear wax on stage.” said Marcy Peterson of Tallahassee, “Her hypochondria is very tiresome; she may need some counseling.”


At press time, Torrance was considering Instagramming a rash to see if anybody thought it was scabies. 


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