Showing posts with label Top 10 Lists. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Top 10 Lists. Show all posts

Oct 30, 2020

Top 10 Things More Likely Than Sam Hunt Releasing a Real Country Song


Remember that time Sam Hunt was gonna release a country song, but then he just released his usual kind of song with a sample of a real country song mixed in? Here are ten things more likely than Sam Hunt releasing a song we all agree is really country.



10. Your aunt actually wins that RV she keeps reposting about on Facebook.


9. Justin Moore takes a leak without standing on a potty stool.


8. A Nigerian prince sends you 3.2 million dollars.



7. The Simpsons stop predicting things correctly.


6. Ifs and buts become candy and nuts.


5. Gary Levox, hardcore porn star. 


4. Donald Trump releases his tax returns. Joe Biden admits he’s uncertain which city he’s in.


3. Kane Brown successfully completes a corn maze.

2. Hank Sr stops rolling in his grave.


1. New York Jets: Super Bowl LV champs.


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By Trailer & Jeremy Harris

Oct 6, 2020

The Kentucky Headhunters: Top 10 Songs


By Bobby “Ten Pound Hammer” Peacock

The first album I ever owned was Pickin' on Nashville by the Kentucky Headhunters. After a long time having forgotten about them outside that album, a chance encounter with "Louisianna CoCo" on the radio in 2000 inspired me to go back and buy all of their other albums to that point. Through this, I found that they had made lots of mostly good music in that time frame. Then I kept finding new albums of theirs at Walmart, and was thrilled to find that they were still making good music. I keep up with their music to this day, and have even had some correspondence with them (they even helped me improve their Wikipedia article!). In short, if you want to know anything about a fine Southern rock band that most people only know for one song, then I'm your man. By far the hardest part was narrowing this list down to ten!

10. Lonely Nights
One of the true tests of a rock group is their ability to carry a ballad. And the Headhunters prove more than able on this one. Lyrics like "Lord have mercy on this broken heart / And forgive her for tearing me apart" may seem direct on paper, but Doug Phelps sings them with absolute conviction. And the instrumentation -- including not only the powerful rhythm section provided by Fred Young and Anthony Kenney, but also the horns and Hammond organ prominent on the corresponding album -- just enhance the mood even more.

9. My Daddy Was a Milkman
I think I'm partial to this song because it was the endcap to Pickin' on Nashville and always gave me that sense of finality. But it's also a damn fine song in its own right. A mostly straightforward guitar groove underlines a story you've probably heard before -- the husband is off to war, so the wife cheats on him with the milkman. But then two more details twist the story even further: the husband stayed in Vietnam with a woman he dated there, while the narrator, the sole heir to his dad's milk company, is now fabulously wealthy. It's a testament to their unconventional and humorous storytelling.

8. Chug-a-Lug
I've been a longtime fan of Roger Miller, and apparently so have they. Their take keeps all of the goofy charm of his tales of underage drinking -- even the scatting! -- and adds to it their distinct country-rock energy. They also have the advantage of actually being old enough to convey the story credibly, but still feisty enough to keep you interested and entertained. The Heads were no strangers to cover songs, and this song -- itself the centerpiece of a covers album -- is a testament to their ear for covers that are distinct and enjoyable.

7. Louisianna CoCo
As I mentioned in the intro, I heard this song once on the radio late at night and couldn't believe what I had just heard -- the Kentucky Headhunters? With a new song? I was immediately so taken by the novelty that I rushed to buy the album at Kmart, and I'm glad I did. Though unknown to me at the time, this was rhythm guitarist Richard Young's first turn on lead vocals, and he makes an exceptional first impression. His low growl and Doug's high howl combine with a maddeningly catchy guitar riff and a few unusual references (it's not often that you hear marijuana called "left-handed cigarettes") to make this far, far more than just your average "rock song about a hot girl."

6. Dry-Land Fish
As part of my "Louisianna CoCo"-driven reintroduction, I found this gem on the very same album. The only song to feature drummer Dale Gribble... I mean, Fred Young on lead vocals, it matches his goofy delivery perfectly to its laid-back, pseudo-psychedelic tales of incense, Led Zeppelin albums, and magic mushrooms. No, not those kind. The kind sung about in this song are morels, a perfectly edible strain and a childhood favorite. And this song is every bit as rootsy and tasty as the mushroom in question. 

5. Diane
Yet another off-kilter story. You'd think it'd end when he reveals that Diane's dumped him for another man, but instead, the story continues with the narrator being robbed (which fails because Diane took everything he had), and goes even further with him contemplating suicide in his living room. The dark, moody groove, especially the ringing end chords and even a gong, are just further proof of their ability to find something different and run with it. This is probably one of their furthest ventures away from country-rock, but they more than have the chops to pull it off.

4. Everyday People
The opening track on the aforementioned Soul finds the Headhunters with their only featured vocalist to date (outside two full-on collab albums with Chuck Berry pianist Johnnie Johnson); namely, Louisville-based R&B singer Robbie Bartlett. Open-ended but timely observations like "The workin' man just can't win / No one's on his side" are sung by Doug with unbridled passion and sincerity, and Bartlett matches her own soulful, gritty tone flawlessly to the content. Some fine drumming and a layer of Hammond organ certainly don't hurt in elevating this fine working-man anthem.

3. Dumas Walker
Even if you don't know who the eponymous Dumas Walker was (for the record, a marbles champion who owned a convenience store that the Headhunters frequented in their youth), it's that distinct detail that adds to the often-used country trope of just having a good time with your friends. And it's probably for that reason that this one is such a cornerstone of '90s country playlists in spite of its low chart peak -- it's just a damn good country party song with an infectious energy that still holds up 30+ years later. Also, I've actually had Ski (a local brand of citrus-flavored pop), and just like the Headhunters themselves, it's a local favorite that I want more to discover.

2. Crazy Jim
Another in the ever-increasing number of songs sung by Richard, this one tells of an eccentric man who was not loved by the community, but still "was from a land where they never learned to hate". One of his eccentricities was handing out rocks to people as a reminder of being rich in spirit, not in money. The portrayal of this unusual yet angelic character is touching enough on its own, but when you realize that "Crazy Jim" was Richard and Fred Young's own father, who died shortly before the album's release, that's when the absolute emotion in Richard's grainy voice really hits you.

1. Great Acoustics
I always cap these lists off with odd picks, don't I? But there's just something about this song that seems to hit all of the band's strengths at once. A gentle memorable melody with a soaring chorus. Martin's impeccably sharp, bluesy guitar tone. The warmer, yet no less gritty soft end of Doug's vocal range. Subtle flourishes of mandolin and Hammond organ that slot seamlessly into the punchy Southern rock surroundings. But best of all is the revelation that the narrator's woman is cheating on him with another woman, and it's treated no differently than if it were just another man. It's just that one little extra touch that turns this song from merely great to outstanding, and makes this the kind of song that I would love to see find a wider audience.

Honorable mentions: Dixie Lullaby, Jukebox Full of Blues, Big Mexican Dinner, Skip a Rope, Jessico, Take These Chains from My Heart, Only Daddy That'll Walk the Line... I could go on

Aug 26, 2020

Top 10 Fashion Tips for Brantley Gilbert Fans

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10. Research the business you’re applying with first, but confederate flag t-shirts are generally frowned upon for job interviews.

9. If you don’t look good in prison orange, you can accessorize with handmade hair necklaces or a sticker from the commissary.

8. Sagging pants aren’t really in fashion right now, but since you don’t care, just make sure you wear full coverage underpants.

7. Duct tape will hold the chain in your back pocket while you save for the wallet.

6. Camouflage is actually fairly fashionable right now, but make sure the camo you wear in public is free of briars and blood from sneaking through the woods to tend your still.

5. Collared shirts are essential work apparel for those of you… well, most of you… with neck tattoos.

4. When purchasing shorty shorts with words across the butt, make sure the wording isn’t something inappropriate that would get you fired from the snow-cone stand.

3. If you don’t have skinny genes, you might wanna skip the skinny jeans.

2. Wife beaters are a shirt style, not a lifestyle.

1. An oversized baseball hat can cover meth scars all the way to the eyebrows and you’ll look super cool.

By Jeremy Harris and Trailer

Jun 17, 2020

Top 10 Biggest Jerks in 2000s Country


Some would imagine that the fan-friendly, upbeat country music scene of 2000-2009 would not be as likely to contain divas and d-bags as the more recent country music diaspora. Some would be very, very wrong. Here are some of the genre's most egregious offenders.

10. Jo Dee Messina
Brings a Coke can into church so she has somewhere to spit her dip. Constantly brags about her Peloton.

9. Billy Currington
Once fought with an old guy about a boat wake or something. [edit: being told this actually happened]
Considers his duet with Shania Twain the highpoint of her career.

8. Sara Evans
At concerts, will only perform her biggest hits as spoken word. Made Trick Pony use a utility closet as a dressing room when they opened for her. 

7. Brad Paisley
Working with legal team to get “dad jokes” copyrighted so he can sue everybody who uses the term. When people join his group text promotion, he sells their numbers to escort services.

6. Dierks Bentley
Publicly and profanely humiliates anyone who misspells his name. Eats Taco Bell on his bus. Uses the bathroom on his band’s bus.

5. Phil Vassar
Plays “Bobbi with an I” as his encore at concerts. Avoids eye contact with anyone shorter than him. Has an album of Drake covers coming out soon.

4. Cyndi Thomson
Bogarts the joint. “I Crossfit” is her entire Facebook bio. Won’t use the zipper merge in traffic.

3. Steve Holy
Cheats at foosball. Won’t flush a floater. Performs Tekashi 6ix9ine songs on Tik Tok. 

2. Mark Wills
Covers a Wheeler Walker Jr. song when he sees there are lots of kids at his concert. Still does the “flaming bag of shit” prank on neighbors despite being in his 40s. Has long conversations in front of what you need at Walmart.

1. John Rich
Wait, who authorized putting an actual jerk on here?

Apr 8, 2020

Top 10 Worst Country Quarantine House Guests


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10. Garth Brooks
Just cries in the corner the whole time.

9. Kacey Musgraves
Smokes up all your weed. 

8. Gary LeVox
In this temporarily ‘nicer’ era of Farce the Music, I will leave this one alone, but you know why he’s here.

7. Martina McBride
High stakes poker games with toilet paper for money. Constantly setting up booby traps and cleaning her AK for when “shit goes down.”

6. Cody Jinks
Won’t stop reminding everyone that The Rock is a big fan. Unfortunately, Ward Davis had to come along too - it’s a package deal.

5. Justin Moore
Constantly needs help reaching stuff in the cabinet and climbing up on the toilet.

4. Mitchell Tenpenny
Your wife won’t come out of the bedroom because “his staring is getting really creepy.” Refuses to wash his hands.

3. Thomas Rhett
Brings over all his kids and their friends, negating the whole social distancing thing. Wants to have Ed Sheeran karaoke contests 24/7.

2. Sam Hunt
Expects you to keep his hair cut and styled for him. Water bill extremely high from washing all his jogger pants. Wants you to be the snap track for him when he’s writing songs. 

1. Shooter Jennings
Eats all your Funyuns. His ‘essential’ luggage is 5 crates of He-Man lunch boxes.
Eats up all the wifi bandwidth playing video games constantly. Conspiracy theories out the wazoo.

Apr 1, 2020

Top 11 Country-Related Ways to Be Helpful During the Pandemic



11. Teach a Kane Brown fan to read by FaceTime

10. Send a letter to your congressman informing them that your favorite bands can still perform live and stay under the 10 person recommendation

9. Remind hick-hop fans that not only should they wash their hands frequently, but that they should also wash their bodies from time to time

8. Paint an inspirational message on the local water tower in John Deere green

7. Tell the Dollar General manager that times are stressful enough without them playing bro-country in the store and kindly request they turn it off

6. Go to your favorite bartender's house and blare George Jones from their yard to cheer them up

5. Whatever Dolly Parton is doing, do that

4. Send a friendly postcard to a Brantley Gilbert fan in prison

3. Avoid political arguments unless one a’ them stinkin’ liberal pinko commie America-hatin’ Dixie Chicks fans starts it first

2. Use two pairs of Luke Bryan’s old pants to make one face mask for the local hospital 

1. Buy albums and merchandise from the independent musicians you enjoy (or tip them during their live shows on Instagram, Facebook, etc)

~By Trailer and Jeremy Harris

Mar 27, 2020

What Country Fanbases Are Doing During Coronavirus Lockdown


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Brantley Gilbert fans: 
The usual - morning bell, inmate count, breakfast, work detail, inmate count…

Luke Bryan fans: 
young - Tik Tok dance videos; older - drinking wine, also doing Tik Tok videos

Florida-Georgia Line fans: 
going to the beach, going to parties, having sex with people they just met

Kane Brown: 
doing chores, homework, texting other kids their age

Mitchell Tenpenny: 
maintaining their regimen of ceftriaxone and azithromycin, stalking exes

Tyler Childers: 
morel hunting, drinking themselves blind

Kelsea Ballerini: 
journaling, skin care, skin care journaling

Sturgill Simpson: 
N/A - he has run off all his fans

Charlie Daniels Band: 
sharing factually incorrect memes, going to church, sleeping with Fox News on

Upchurch: 
hoarding, cooking

Feb 13, 2020

Top 10 Eddy Raven Songs



By Bobby “Ten Pound Hammer” Peacock

A while back, I mentioned a few Eddy Raven songs on Twitter, and Trailer admitted unfamiliarity with most of his catalog. Having just done enough research on Eddy Raven to have gotten his Wikipedia article ranked as a "Good Article" (thanks to his wife, Sheila, for her help!), I put together this top ten list.

10. "I Got Mexico"

If you know an Eddy Raven song at all, it's probably this one. It seems to be the one I hear most on classic-country formats. And for good reason: its carefree, "get away from it all" theme about escaping your broken heart with a trip to Mexico is quite hard to resist. It's a perfect fit for Raven's Caribbean-Cajun sound and gently rolling delivery, and it's hard not to see why this was his first #1 hit.

9. "Operator, Operator"

A cover song twice over. Co-writer Larry Willoughby (Rodney Crowell's cousin) and the Oak Ridge Boys both cut in 1983: the former as the lead single for a little-known Atlantic album, and the latter as the B-side of "Love Song." While Larry's version has a similarly laid-back vibe, Raven escalates the song with a Caribbean-influenced production that somehow manages not to clash with the theme of trying to call her up and apologize. I especially like the end, where the chorus continues underneath him as he shouts at the operator.

8. "Right Hand Man"

Although Raven didn't write this one, it still shows his attraction to exceptional lyrics. The connection between being a woman's "right-hand man" and then getting dumped for someone who puts a ring on the left hand -- sure, it may have been done before, but it's just such a natural transition into the line "don't let your right hand know what your left hand's doing." The jangly, acoustic guitar-driven production really adds to the simple but effective story of getting dumped for another guy.

7. "Joe Knows How to Live"

All of Joe's coworkers are jealous of his trip to Mexico, which Joe himself sums up in a laid-back carpe diem observation: "Women are made to love / Money is made to spend / Life is something, buddy / You will never live again". Raven's spoken-word ad-libs at the end help further the tone ("Think Joe's wife knows about that yet?"), and his laid-back delivery fits the song far better than the original Nitty Gritty Dirt Band version. I wonder if this was intended to be a perspective-flip of sorts to "I Got Mexico?"

6. "I'm Gonna Get You"

The obligatory Dennis Linde pick. I'm a sucker for a good accordion song, and a song about playfully stalking your lover (a common theme for many Linde songs -- remember "What'll You Do About Me?"). Yet another song originally cut by another artist -- Billy Swan, whose version just sounds like "I Can Help" with an accordion -- this one feels like a natural fit for Raven, who brings more energy and flavor to the proceedings without stripping the lightheartedness away.

5. "Dealin' with the Devil"

Yes, a lot of country music songs have done this exact same trope: finding the right woman has finally saved a wayward man from his cheatin' ways. But this one shines with its alliterations ("dancin' with those demons," "dealin' with the devil") and its delightful Merle Haggard-esque vibe (to the point that Merle himself actually cut the song a few years later), it was clear even before his major-label days that Raven had a knack for songcraft.

4. "I Could Use Another You"

Maybe it's those jaunty "no no no’s,” but there's just something I really like about this song from a melodic and production standpoint. It really lends an upbeat, maybe even optimistic air to the song's central theme. He's broken up because she left, and wants to reclaim those same good feelings from the past. Simple on paper, but just like so many of his songs, the individual elements -- sharp lyrics like "now that we're through, I could use another you," the catchy melody, and Raven's voice -- really elevate the material.

3. "Island"

Raven's last top-40 hit before the "Class of '89" flattened him and his peers, and a great song to go out on. The underlying sailing metaphor is extremely well-done ("I might sail forever and never find that island again"), leading to some creative references such as the Southern Cross. The moody production and Raven's emotive voice are given plenty of room here, allowing for a very distinct song. It kind of reminds me of an even better take on the already exceptional "Second Wind" by Darryl Worley.

2. "Who Do You Know in California"

Even at this early point in his career, Raven showed an unusual way with lyrics. Uncommon phrases like "hiding behind the morning paper" and "trying to find a real good answer, one that wasn't too absurd" set the tone for a man who's been outed in an affair after the mistress calls. (Raven said that this song was inspired by a story he had heard from a fan.) Even more interestingly, the song never resolves the scenario, a move that certainly helps the replay value: does he ever answer her question? How does she react?

1. "Sooner or Later"

A bit of an oddball pick, I'm sure. But last year, I heard this song on Prime Country for the first time probably since I was 3, and I could immediately remember everything. Nostalgia aside, I just love everything about this song: that incredibly catchy synth riff, quite possibly the only country song to use an orchestra hit (outside the dance mix of "Boot Scootin' Boogie"), and more "playfully stalking" lyrics courtesy of the ever-underrated Bill LaBounty ("Either way, honey, you're gonna be mine / If it's got to be later, then how about later tonight?"). This song just has so many ingredients that make me feel happy every time I listen.

Honorable mentions: "Bayou Boys," "You're Never Too Old for Young Love," "Peace of Mind"

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