Showing posts with label Top 10 Lists. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Top 10 Lists. Show all posts

May 17, 2019

Top 10 Signs You’re a Basic A** Country Girl

10. The bartender at a Nashville pedal tavern has cut you off before

9. You don’t remember what songs Kane Brown sang in concert, but he’s your favorite singer because he’s “sooo hot!”

8. You own more pairs of cut-offs than there are Presidents you can name

7. You missed work/class to cry and drink wine the day you found out Dustin Lynch has a girlfriend

6. The above concoction seems like the best thing ever

5. You’ve ever said “Y’all I’m literally dead”

4. There’s just something about a community college dropout in a lifted Raptor running a stoplight while cranking Florida-Georgia Line that makes you fall in love every time

3. You own 3 pair of boots with crosses on them and ain’t been to church in years

2. Your Jeep with a Yeti sticker and a deer decal has never left the pavement of Davidson county


1. You will gladly stand in line upwards of 3 hours to have your photo taken in front of some wings painted on a wall


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Inspired by this tweet from Country Hodge Podge:


Mar 27, 2019

Top 10 Biggest Jerks in Texas Country Music


Some people would imagine that the fan-friendly, honest Texas country music scene would not be as likely to contain divas and d-bags as pop music or Nashville. However, those people would be wrong. Here are some of the genre's most egregious offenders.

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10. Kevin Fowler
Reply All… every time
Somehow always around when the tour bus bathroom smells, but never did it

9. Bri Bagwell
Starts every sentence with “No offense, but…”
Talks on speaker phone at the gym

8. Casey Donahew
Stage banter consists entirely of discussing the show Entourage
All band members must refer to him as “sir”

7. Kyle Park
Waits till he gets up to the counter to look at the menu
Calls Koe Wetzel screaming for no reason every morning around 5 a.m.

6. Sarah Hobbs
Takes a smoke break during church and puffs Black & Milds right outside the sanctuary
“Gangnam Style” ringtone

5. Zane Williams
Wears shirts printed with recent tv show spoilers on stage
Threw out first pitch at a minor league game and purposely beaned the catcher between the pads
Replaces the toilet paper ‘roll under’

4. Lyle Lovett
Still does the duck face and peace sign in pics
Signs autographs as “Shyle Shovett”
Only speaks German in interviews since 2004

3. Kylie Rae Harris
Just shows up with Whataburger without asking anybody if they wanted some first
Her only jokes are stolen from Larry the Cable guy
Her encore at shows? “Baby Shark”

2. Dalton Domino
Breath always smells like pickle chips
Proud to prove he knows every word of “F the Police” every chance he gets
Signs up for fetish porn sites using bandmates’ email addresses

1. Cory Morrow
Never been to a  Buc-ees without asking to speak to the manager
Calls everybody “chief” or “pahdnah”
Leaves shopping carts behind car parked next to him
Brutal SBDs

Mar 1, 2019

Top 10 Signs You Might Be a Kane Brown Fan

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10. You're loudly yelling at your ex-husband on the phone outside a tanning salon

9. You're only getting the Aryan nation prison tattoo lasered off now that your son's dating a black woman

8. Your truck cost more than you and your neighbor's trailers put together

7. You're sporting a Kane Brown t-shirt …and an ankle bracelet

6. You got a DUI on the way to church

5. You recently asked your friend about hosting an essential oils party at her house because your apartment is being fumigated right now

4. You have said: "I'm not racist, I listen to Kane Brown!"

3. People can see a dolphin tattoo on your butt cheek because your pajama pants are sliding down in the express lane at Walmart where you have 27 items

2. You talk about country music evolving, but dropped out of school before biological evolution was taught


1. All your Facebook posts are either "if you come at my family, you come at me" or Kane Brown videos

May 25, 2018

Top 10 Kane Brown Songs That Really Aren't That Bad


Yeah, we've been a little hard on Kane Brown. His first music was amateurish at best, and his new songs are heavy on the pop and light on the country. He also tends to sing as if he's experiencing bowel discomfort. He also seems to have very thin skin toward "haters" and critics. All that said, we can find the good in every artist, right? Even the most disagreeable country acts have some songs that will surprise you. Here are the ten Kane Brown songs we think you should open your mind to and give a chance right now!



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Apr 6, 2018

Top 10 Biggest Country Singer/Songwriter Jerks


Some would imagine that relatively under-the-radar country singer/songwriters would not be as likely to be divas and d-bags as the ultra-hyped superstars. However, this is not to be. 
Here are some of the most egregious offenders.
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10. Brandy Clark
Keeps "Draw 4" up sleeve when playing Uno
Tour rider requires Koolaid pickles, a Creed prayer candle, and 5 bottles of Olde English


9. Ed Hill
Thinks Farce the Music is hilarious
Actual crisis actor


8. Mac McAnally
Thinks Soulja Boy is better than 2Pac
Donates to charities promoting homelessness


7. Josh Grider
Does not tell someone if they have a booger
Hobby: Martin Shkreli fan fiction


6. Gretchen Peters
Has been kicked off multiple flights for fighting and drunkenness
Personally puts tiny scratch on each vinyl album ordered through her website


5. Will Hoge
Wears awkwardly short shorts to co-writing sessions
Default font on all emails? comic sans


4. Lori McKenna
Performs thorough and morally judgmental background check on co-writers
2 can a day Copenhagen habit
Wears big hats to church and sits in front of short people


3. Travis Meadows
Spreads nasty rumors about Whiskey Jack's hygiene
Argues with cashiers over expired coupons
Changes Alan Jackson online set lists and Wikipedia page to say AJ covers Lil Wayne, Future


2. Mandy Barnett
Writes "Nice" on page 69 of every library book she checks out
Coughs on buffets
Still wears a bluetooth earpiece


1. Kendell Marvel
Refused shot, gave 73 people flu this year
Secretly writes bro-country songs under pen name Chris DeStefano
Doesn't refill the Keurig
Claims world's largest laserdisc porn collection


Mar 28, 2018

Top 10 Things Kane Brown Fans Say to Police Officers


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10. No sir, this is a chemistry set I bought off Ebay. 


9. Yeah, I know they're out. They're called break lights so I broke them.


8. I'm just taking care of these pills till grandaddy gets out of the hospital.


7. I'm the one who called. This man on Twitter doesn't like Kane Brown, so he's racist and that's a hate crime.


6. I'll give you a handy for $10. Oh shit, you're a cop.


5. Yes officer, this lady just stole my heroin.


4. Just because I picked this young man up from basketball practice don't mean he's underage.


3. Aunt Grandma put this crack in my backpack, not me. 


2. But the teacher said we could bring drinks in study hall. It's just beer.


1. It's not illegal for her to be 15 if we're married



Mar 1, 2018

Top 10 Things Brantley Gilbert Fans are Spending Their Tax Refunds on 2018


10. Converting the septic tank to an underground meth lab

9. The wedding

8. Adding on to the house

7. Getting a gun tattoo because Brantley did

6. Nothing, saving it

5. The entire Jay Hickman discography on vinyl

4. Getting a sexy photo shoot like Michael Hayes

3. Prison commissary credits for dad

2. Hospital bills

1. Anniversary gift for your side chick



Feb 20, 2018

Top 10 Biggest Jerks in Americana Music

Some would imagine that the fan-friendly, honest Americana music scene would not be as likely to contain divas and d-bags as the more mainstream genres of music. However, thanks to critic and hipster love for the buzzworthy genre, things have changed of late. This groundswell has slowly created a context wherein all manner of unlikely aspirants are more apt to let their jerk flag fly. Here are some of the genre's most egregious offenders.


10. Brent Cobb
"Forgets" to invite cousin Dave to family functions
Band members only allowed to speak to him by text message


9. Rhiannon Giddens
Borrows band members' phones and logs out of everything
Once put a fan who accidentally called her 'Rihanna' in a triangle choke submission hold


8. Amanda Shires
Wouldn't speak to husband, Jason, for a month when he opposed the name "Taco Lucinda" for their daughter
Performed an entire show of Rob Thomas covers when one crowd was smaller than anticipated


7. Rob Baird
Always eats the middle cinnamon roll out of the pan first
Spends hours a day leaving 1 star iTunes reviews on other Americana artists
Will only autograph thongs


6. Shooter Jennings
Puffs, doesn't pass
Got a secret tip and sold all his Bitcoin to Marilyn Manson just before Bitcoin crashed
Plans to do an all-EDM tour later this year


5. Ward Davis
Secretly bullies Cody Jinks
Still says "Dilly Dilly!"
Keeps telling everybody new music is coming "soon" but it never does


4. Holly Williams
First person to ingest a Tide Pod on video
Can only name 3 Hank Sr. songs
Drives 10 mph below speed limit in left lane


3. Drew Kennedy
Never cleans stations in the gym after using them
Doesn't wash out the sink after beard grooming
Tour rider includes "organic kale candy" and "fitted hemp Phillies cap"


2. Courtney Patton
Spreads rumors about Jamie Lin Wilson on Snapchat
Tells dirty jokes at funerals
Vapes dill pickle flavor at songwriting sessions


1. Paul Thorn
Does the old "replace the vodka with water" trick on his tour bus
Constantly reminds fans he used to be a boxer
Never plays his top 5 songs on Spotify in concert
Always has a few credit card skimmers on hand

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