The Perfect Gift

 

Really Dumb Country Reviews: May '23

(Real Apple Music Reviews)

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Warren Zeiders - 717 Tapes

Tyler Hubbard - s/t

Diplo - Thomas Wesley Chapter 2

*Diplo is an alleged abuser and r*pist

Luke Combs - Gettin' Old

HARDY - The Mockingbird & The Crow

*Wrong, country and metal have been fused many times before*

Morgan Wallen - One Thing at a Time

*This one's so dumb I've used it twice

The Mandalorian Country Reaction Gifs

When somebody riding with me complains about the constant sad country songs

When somebody drives by listening to Kane Brown

When somebody pesters Shooter Jennings while he's producing

When your buddy has to take his kids to see Thomas Rhett

When you walk in the club in a vintage 1991 Alan Jackson tee and tight-rolled acid wash jeans

When the only concerts coming to town are Sam Hunt and Luke Bryan

Sturgill has a song with Diplo??

Waiting on that new Nicholas Jamerson album

Some of y'all think Wallen, who writes and sings mediocre songs, is better than Strait, who sings classics but that's none... 

Least Anticipated Albums of 2023

Really Dumb Country Reviews: July 2020

Really reviews from a popular music service.

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Florida-Georgia Line - 6 Pack

Diplo - Snake Oil



Margo Price - That's How Rumors Get Started


Luke Bryan - Born Here Live Here Die Here

(It's not out yet, dummy)

The Chicks - Gaslighter

 

 

Morgan Wallen - If I Know Me

Eric Church - "Stick That In Your Country Song"

This Guy Rants About Cody Jinks Playing the Opry

LMOA! Who! When I heard last year that my boy Dustin Lynch was joining the Grand Old Opera I was happy as hell! For all he’s done for country music, it was about damn time! He makes music that makes chicks want to ride in my truck with me and that means he a legend! 

Now comes word that somebody name Cody Jinks is playing at the opery tonight. Cody Jinks, who’s she? LOL. Now I’m not a hater but shouldn’t people that plays the hollow hall of country music be somebody me and my bros have listen to? I mean, back in the olden days, they let people play who only did sad songs played with old timey instruments like guitars and fiddles, but in more recent years, they’s let my homie Hootie join and Dustin and folks like that. Party ass music, you know what I’m sayin?

I asked all are friend’s group if they’d heard of Cody Jinks and here was the results: Chad said “Who tf is that?” (Yes he really said “tf” out loud). Brad said “Is that the guy who used to date Brelynn?” Matt said “No.” Dylan said “I don’t listen to anybody who doesn’t have DJ in front of there name.” Only Carter said he’s heard of Cody, but Carter runs a blog or something and he’s pretty weird. 

There’s a thousand country singers who deserve to be on the Opary before Cody Junks. Like Mitchell Tenpenny. That dude slaps. Diplo! F**k yeah, he’s done two or three country songs everybody I know loves. Marshmello. He did that song with Kane Brown and he’s legit. I could go on for pair of graphs, but you get the point. 

I listened to a Cody Jinks song and I couldn’t even get threw thirty seconds before I wanted to attach a garden hose to my F-150 exhaust in the garage. Why dose anyone want to hear such sad songs and songs about grown ass adult stuff? That’s so boring. Give me real country dudes singing about stuff I knows about like hooking up in bars and hooking up in bars. 

Anyway, I’m probably never going to the Grand Old Oprery anyway because theirs some guy who plays there all the time named Ricky Skanks, and I’d just laugh the hole time.

Tell 'Em, Dale

Monday Morning Memes: John Wick, Kane Brown, Morgan Wallen