Showing posts with label Alan Jackson. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Alan Jackson. Show all posts

Mar 12, 2020

Reba (The TV Show) Country Reaction Gifs

When Alan Jackson sings "I'll try to love only you"

Why FGL got into country music

"Hey Reba, while we're quarantined, you wanna just sit around and watch 90s country videos?"

When somebody asks if you've heard the phrase "Whatever country radio listeners enjoy is country music"

When you catch your brother watching a Dustin Lynch video

♫ ♬ "She thinks his name was John" ♫ ♬

When Loretta sang "It'll feel good after it quits hurtin'"

When you're in the mood to read some comments below a Kane Brown YouTube video

What is: the country music business?

Feb 7, 2020

Alan Jackson to Release Protest Album

Country legend Alan Jackson takes his time putting out new music these days, but he’s gearing up for a surprising new release. Due May 8th, Things That Bother Me, produced by Keith Stegall, will be a departure for the long, tall singer - a protest album - and we talked with him about this unique venture.

“The Long and Short of It,” the album’s opener tackles an issue near and dear to Jackson’s heart. “You don’t know how hard it is to find 38.5 inseam jeans without having to go on the computer,” frowned Jackson, “So this song’s about that.” The tune documents and dismisses the continued discrimination of the men’s clothing industry against men with very long legs. The anger in his voice is palpable as he sings: “I looked in the Target big & tall, but 36 is all they had.”

Jackson is twice as passionate on “As God Intended,” a gospel-tinged anthem about the proliferation of craft beers. “Why can’t people just enjoy a good Bud heavy like a normal American?” he puzzled, “They got IPAs, double IPAs, triplebocks, sours, and coffee stouts out the wazzoo. Makes it hard for me to just grab my sixer and go with all the granola boys hanging over the coolers looking at their phone apps for a beer rating or something.”

While never breeching the subjects of politics or social justice, Alan does get into a controversial subject on the album’s final cut, “Sissy Basketball.” While he only played church league ball as a younger man, Jackson still laments the evolution of the NBA from the grinding defensive struggles of the 80s and 90s to today’s high-scoring finesse game. “I miss the days of Bill Laimbeer and Charles Oakley literally assaulting somebody who thought they’d get an easy layup,” he laughed, “So this song’s about that.” 

When asked if he thinks the confrontational tone of the album will turn off long time fans, Mr. Jackson simply stated “I don’t reckon.”

Track listing for Things That Bother Me:
1. The Long and Short of It
2. Beyonce Didn’t Invent Country Music
3. Electric Cars
4. As God Intended
5. Paywalls
6. No Legroom
7. Things That Bother Me
8. I Don’t Love That About You
9. Zipper Merge
10. Sissy Basketball

Sep 5, 2019

Animal House Country Reaction Gifs

Hank Jr. pre-gaming for his own concert 

If those assholes say Alan Jackson created bro-country

A mainstream country songwriter trying to get song ideas

The Highwomen album comes out tomorrow

Who likes listening to iHeartradio country stations?

When a car drives by with the windows down and you accidentally hear 2 seconds of a Kane Brown song

When some dude at the party starts playing a Thomas Rhett song on his guitar

Hey, Dustin Lynch...

May 3, 2019

Alan Jackson Previews New Clarence Carter Covers Album

by Trailer - Originally posted on Country California, May 08, 2009 
Fresh off the platinum success of his largely self-written Good Time album, Alan Jackson took a night off his spring tour to preview some new tracks from his forthcoming album of Clarence Carter covers for a select group of internet media. 

"Well, I've always been partial to, you know, those ol' gritty sounding rhythm and blues songs and they don't get any grittier than Clarence," Jackson laughed genially as he started off the evening. 

I settled into my chair as Jackson began his opening selection - and incidentally also the upcoming album's lead single - the bawdy "Sixty Minute Man," which includes the line "fifteen minutes of something you've been missing." Sounding as confident as ever, Jackson put a little pelvic thrusting into the hook lines, drawing gasps and a little stifled laughter from the audience. 

Next, Jackson brought Alison Krauss, producer of the album (and his previous dip into R&B, Like Red on a Rose), onstage with him to do backing vocals on the randy "Take It Off Him, Put It On Me." They grinned like drunken college kids as they pulled off the number with peculiar aplomb. 

Alison exited as Alan continued his set with the classic "Patches" before returning to Carter's seedy side with "Back Door Santa," donning a Santa hat and doing an awkward "butt spank" dance move during the performance. After some muddled applause and whispering, someone in the crowd hollered out "Do Strokin'!" and the long tall Georgian complied. 

"I'd like to bring up a very special guest for my last song tonight," smiled Alan as he helped the elder soulman Carter onto the small stage. The two traded libidinous lyrics with huge smiles on their faces to the crowd's mix of embarrassment and excitement. The bizarreness of hearing Jackson sing "that's what I been doin'" while shaking his skinny hips cannot be adequately conveyed with any words in my vocabulary. 

Concerns over whether this was the long and dirty version of "Strokin'" were put to rest when Jackson changed the lyrics "you can stick it up my ***" to "you can take care of yourself." "We gotta keep things PG-13," he said with his famous aw-shucks drawl as the song faded. The crowd dispersed quickly after a short, confused semi-ovation. 

Jan 22, 2019

In Unnecessary Defense of Alan Jackson

J-man Burnett, a Farce the Music reader, has responded to the ever present Alan Jackson troll. While I'd love to just ignore this deluded person, not even ignoring them seems to end the madness. As far as I know, I can't block IP addresses on Blogger, and I'm not switching formats anytime soon because I'm lazy, so I'll just delete the comments when I remember to. Anyway, here's J-man's completely unnecessary defense of Alan Jackson.


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