The Crud Report: November 2025

 

2025 Country Music Vocabulary

Gatekeeping: Making artists or fans of those artists feel bad for claiming the genre but not adhering to any of the genre’s basic elements

Evolution: Copying what was popular in hip-hop or pop music 1-5 years ago

Songwriting: Rearranging words from previous hits over a slightly different composition

Songwriter: Producer, actual writer, guy who bought a beat online, 13 dudes in a room trying to think of the most current slang term to use, DJ, the singer (who only added 2 words), etc.

Country music: Has no definition. If the radio/bookers/agent/record label/media lets you call whatever crap it is you’re performing country, do so

Americana: Country music

Hipster country: Americana with fashion sense and/or social messages

Country cosplay: Artist was not born in the rural south or Texas (OR) has not been a country artist since the moment they popped out of the womb

Sellout: Artist who selfishly got sober or clean

Hick lib: Country or Americana singer who is not MAGA

Live Nation: Entertainment/concert company requiring half a month’s income and your firstborn child to afford a ticket to one (1) of their events

Traditional country: (sounds like the 90s)

TikTok country: Offensive term demeaning the hard work of curly haired young dudes who developed a following due to their attractive appearance and ability to autotune themselves singing about being sad and problematic

Steel guitars & fiddles: Americana instruments

Bruh-Country: Music by and of the tatted, plain tee and chain wearing, mumble-rap-loving young American white dude, fr fr.

TikTok Americana: Offensive term demeaning the hard work of not-as-attractive dudes standing in a field singing about coal in a style not dissimilar to Tyler Childers or Zach Bryan

Billy Strings Covers Childers' "Bitin' List"

Country Singers as Halloween Treats

Wrasslin' Country Reaction Gifs #95

Zach Bryan explaining his positive qualities to a potential new romantic interest

Good time Charlie's got the blues

Every dude at a Gavin Adcock concert be like

When the people beside you at the beach are cranking Florida-Georgia Line on a bluetooth speaker

Listens to Tyler Childers once

Music row big wig when he sees another handsome 6'2" former community college wide receiver with a five o'clock shadow walk in for an audition

Well excuse me but I think you've got my chair

When somebody says Dolly is overrated

I don't think you're a bad person if you only listen to mainstream country; I just think

When you get a new job and all your coworkers are Morgan Wallen and Jason Aldean fans

If you're a young country singer you better learn to:

3 King of the Hill Country Memes

Stolen Memes: Tyler Childers, Alabama, George Jones

 

From Tyler Chill Dumps

From Music Shitty

I don't remember where I got this one but I love it.

Honest Radio Promo Ad: Tyler Childers

 Yeah, he's actually getting airplay... somewhere

Country Singer* Country Reaction Gifs

*or pop-country or Americana or southern pop or plain crap...whatever. Like I have room to put all that in the title*

The look you give people who think you've been doing cosplay for 10+ years

My wife: What are we doing Saturday? Can we go shopping?

Me:

Garth, did you really kill all those people like they say you did?

Name one thing that's country about Dan + Shay:

When people say you're the fastest fence climber they've ever seen

If you think Hank would've done it this way

When you spend $1600 on a guided high-fence hunt and only see an undersized doe and a 3 squirrels

When nobody talks to you because they only brought you on for ratings

What's better than listening to Jason Aldean?

Hey Farce, how do you know you wouldn't like a Luke Bryan concert if you've never been to one?

When another candidate for the biting list crosses your vision

Dominik Mysterio: "Hey Post Malone, you sure have gained a lot of weight!"

When you find out the release dates of new music from all your buddies and you just so happen to have 245 songs in the can

Country Twitter Fails: September '25

Authentic? With an AI picture?

Let people enjoy things.