Showing posts with label Commentary. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Commentary. Show all posts

Feb 2, 2023

3 Up, 3 Down

3 Up

Zach Bryan - Something in the Orange

I don’t have much to say about this one honestly. It’s a really good song, and it’s awesome to see this actually getting mainstream airplay. It doesn’t fit, and feels like it could be the beginning of a change… or at least the continuation of the “mildly improving country radio” trend. 


Bailey Zimmerman - Rock and a Hard Place

I don’t have much to say about this one either. It’s pretty good. I just think people would be surprised I like it, so I put it here. 


Carley Pearce - What He Didn’t Do

Carly continues her winning streak with this (rightly) vindictive lament of a broken relationship. It’s a country song for adults and old souls, with real emotion, well-crafted lines, an exceptional delivery, and freakin’ dobro and resonator. Damn, that’s nice. I’m a big fan. 


3 Down

Tyler Hubbard - Dancin’ in the Country

Insipid, for one word. Bro lite, for two. This f***ing sucks, for three. Basically, take a Florida-Georgia Line party in a pasture song, add an atmosphere of romance, and dial back the guitars and you have “Dancin’ In the Country.” You already know the storyline from 10000 songs before this, but guy and girl start out in club, guy and girl drive to the country and do cliches. There are Silverado and Luccese name drops, there’s watermelon as an adjective, there’s red dirt. And he even has the temerity to mention Alabama and Alan Jackson. Please stop, I’m tired.


Parmalee - Girl in Mine

One second in and I’m sighing and mad. Straight garbage. These dudes are like if Dan + Shay were on their first cycle of testosterone therapy. Just wimpy ass pop rock not even bothering with any ties to any particular era of actual country music. Recycled melodies, listless vocals, pointless vibe; this song has it all! If you don’t know what people mean when they say “boyfriend country,” this is what they mean. Soft, inoffensive, unmemorable, non-threatening (not that a country song should necessarily threaten you unless Chris Knight is singing it). The lyrics take this one over the top to being possibly the sappiest shit you’ve ever heard. This is the peak (or nadir) of boyfriend country, I hope. 


Kane & Katelyn Brown - Thank God

Look, this ain’t a bad song. It’s a perfectly serviceable pop love song. I have the radio on the pop station when I take my daughter to school in the mornings, and if this came on there, I wouldn’t change the station. Nothing groundbreaking or memorable exactly, but this is a decent tune. Here comes the ‘but’ and if you’ve been around here for a while, I bet you know what it is. (In an extremely cringe boomer voice) “It ain’t country.” We can argue the parameters of that genre forever and nobody would change their mind, so I’m just gonna state my facts. There is no story. There is no country drawl. There is no fiddle. There is no steel guitar. I still think you can have a “country song” without those 4 things, but you also have to pass the sniff test. “Thank God” does not. There is not the tiniest thread in this song tying it to any definition or intuitive knowledge of COUNTRY MUSIC. Is it closer than some mainstream 'country' songs? Sure, it’s mostly acoustic. That’s about it. Ed Sheehan is mostly acoustic and he’s not “up next on MISS 103 where we play only the greatest country.” 

C+ for song     F for genre placement

Jan 18, 2023

15 Cringiest Luke Bryan Lyrics

By Trailer, with help from Bobby Peacock

Your little iPod's loaded down with Hoobastank

“Country Man”

Entire song but if I must pick one:

Shake it for the birds, shake it for the bees

Shake it for the catfish swimming down deep in the creek

"Country Girl (Shake It For Me)"

Girl you make my speakers go boom boom

"Drunk on You"

Most of the song, but to pick one:

Put in my country ride hip-hop mixtape

Little Conway, a little T-Pain, might just make it rain

"That's My Kind of Night"

You got the beautiful, I got the cooler full

"Beer in the Headlights"

Tryin' to pour a little sugar in her Dixie cup

"Play It Again"

Kick the dust up

Back it on up

Fill your cup cup

Let's tear it up up

"Kick the Dust Up"

So put your drink down, throw your camera up

Flip it around and snap a payback picture

I'll send it to my ex, and send them both a text...

"Home Alone Tonight"

Move like you do

All sexy and smooth

Like you love to

Oh girl look at you

Legs and your hips


It's like the music stopped playing when I saw your body

Did you come here with someone or come here to party (tonight)

"Out of Nowhere Girl"

She's dancing like every guy in here ain't watching her

Do her thang, make it rain, God amighty

"She's a Hot One"

That dress needs to slip off

That hair needs to come down

Friday nights need to do

What Friday nights need to do

That's the truth

"Knockin' Boots"


"Build Me a Daddy"

One more barefoot round, one more last chance to say

"Hey SeƱorita, don't you think we need

A salt and a Chesney song?"

One margarita, two margarita, three margarita

We'll be gone

"One Margarita"

Hey cowboy, keep slingin' that rope

Eatin' that dirt, wearing that gold

Break a leg rodeo, but just don't break no bones

"Country On"

Dishonorable Mentions:

Whiskey makes my baby, a little bit frisky

"Rain is a Good Thing"

Do I turn you on at all when I kiss you baby

"Do I"

When it's tapping on the roof, ain't nothing like you

Doing what you do to me

When the lightning hits, I'll be kissing on your lips

"Bad Lovers"

If you love her like you say you do

Then why don't you love her like you say you do

'Cause I wanna love her like you say you do

"Like You Say You Do"

Maybe wreck some sheets, crash your lips into mine

"Too Drunk to Drive"


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