*Non-made-up statistics that are at least close to accurate*
Showing posts with label Commentary. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Commentary. Show all posts
Jan 16, 2020
Tim McGraw's 15 Cringiest Lyrics
I know he didn't write these, but he picked all of the songs to record,
so there must be an issue with his discernment.
They all gather 'round my teepee
Late at night tryin' to catch a peek at me
In nothin' but my buffalo briefs
I got 'em standin' in line
“Indian Outlaw”
Farmer Johnson's daughters just pulled up in a Jeep
Man he knows how to grow 'em if ya know what I mean
"Down on the Farm"
Then you
Flipped the switch on my dumaflache
Played my piano like Liberace
"You Turn Me On"
She sits quietly there
Like water in a jar
"She's My Kind of Rain"
Back when a hoe was a hoe
Coke was a coke
And crack's what you were doing
When you were cracking jokes
Back when a screw was a screw
The wind was all that blew
And when you said I'm down with that
Well it meant you had the flu
"Back When"
I hope you both choke on a pickle
Man that would tickle me to death
"Do You Want Fries With That?"
Everybody say "Ha Ha Ha, Ha Ha Ha"
My friends are always giving me
Watches, hats, and wine
"Last Dollar (Fly Away)"
I spent fifteen hundred dollars on your damn dog's collar
Put new spinners on your Escalade
"It's a Business Doing Pleasure With You"
She ordered us a drink
It was a purple kind of pink
She said it’s got a shot of a little bit of everything
Mellow yellow umbrella for a fella like me
"Felt Good on My Lips"
Chillin' in the back room
Hangin' with my whole crew
Sippin' on a cold brew, hey now!
"Truck Yeah"
Truck Yeah
Wanna get it jacked up yeah
Let's crank it on up yeah
"Truck Yeah"
I'm in a mexicoma
My my my my my my mexicoma
"Mexicoma"
That girl, she's a party all-nighter,
A little "Funky Cold Medina," little "Strawberry Wine"-er,
That girl, she's a love gunslinger, neon jägerbomb country-okie singer
"Lookin' For That Girl"
That girl she's a sugar sweet drive-by
Hold my dreams in her blue jeans, oh my
"Lookin' For That Girl"
I'm talkin' way outside with the crickets and the dogs and the ye'haws, and the grandmas
Come on, y'all know what I'm talking about
Put your mouth to the spout where the gospel comes out
Way down, way down, way down, way down, way down, way down, way down
"Way Down"
Oct 16, 2019
Aug 2, 2019
Jun 19, 2019
Really Dumb Country Music Reviews: Thomas Rhett Edition
(Real reviews from a major music seller/streamer - mostly reviews of Center Point Road)
Jun 5, 2019
I'm Sorry... This Exists: June 2019
Weird, bad, or interesting country/music merchandise and other stuff.
These are not Photoshopped.
 |
| Colt Ford Onesie |
 |
| George Jones High Tech Redneck pocket knife |
 |
| This crazy dude is still at it... |
 |
| Gross. I'm guessing this isn't approved by the estate. |
 |
| Kane Brown kids' jersey. |
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| Kane Brown tumbler |
 |
| We've joked about Kelsea Ballerini being a Barbie doll for so long that we willed it into reality. |
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| Old Dominion fidget spinner |
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| Upchurch tattoo. Stands for Raise Hell Eat Cornbread. Yeehaw. |
A metal cover of Luke Bryan’s “Kick the Dust Up”
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| Now, that's on brand! |
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