When They're Smolderin' Hot

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John Rich Sets Self on Fire in Protest of Beyonce’s Grammy Country Win

John Rich, occasional country singer/songwriter and esteemed political genius, is in serious but stable condition after setting himself on fire this past Wednesday, according to a source only we know about. Doctors we definitely talked to say Rich is expected to recover, but will require multiple skin grafts and a lengthy hospital stay.

Rich left a note nearby written on official Redneck Riviera Whiskey stationery explaining the reason for the fiery display, saying it was in protest of Beyoncé winning Best Country Album at the recent Grammy Awards, per this sentence we just typed. The note went on to say that “Country music is losing its authenticity with every person like her we allow in - you know, Democrats. Her boom-booming music and slang-filled lyrics are not welcome in our great genre, which boasts such legends as Morgan Wallen and Jason Aldean. Why were they not selected for this award? Oh I know. DEI! They’re ruining America already and I’m not gonna let them ruin the music I hold in such high regards that I wrote its greatest song “Save a Horse (Ride a Cowboy).” I hope my action will lead the Grammys to reconsider. Signing off, JR.”

The letter, which really does exist, is now framed and hanging in the office of President Donald Trump. 

Though John’s protest is the most extreme thus far, other country singers have also put their foot down about the injustice, as told about in many reliable Facebook posts. The King of Country Music, Mr. George Strait said “Handing Beyoncé a Grammy for best country album is an insult to real country music,” and Reba McEntire said it was quote “a slap in the face.”

And yesterday we learned that Chris Stapleton has filed an official objection to Beyonce’s Grammy win, stating that “We need to ensure that the awards reflect the true essence of the genre…” (Source: @Facebook.com/countrymusicmaga) With such stalwarts of the all-American genre standing up for justice, surely you will share this story with your entire political bubble and follow our page! Do not believe Snopes if they attempt to fact-check any of this, because they are part of the deep state.

We wish John Rich well in his recovery, and GOD BLESS AMERICA AND COUNTRY MUSIC!

*This is fake news, as is 99% of what you read on Facebook. This is also satire, which you won't find much of on Facebook.

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