Mar 8, 2021
Mar 5, 2021
Mar 1, 2021
Feb 25, 2021
When you say you’ll send your friend some new Cole Chaney music and you send them Cole Swindell instead as a joke
Morgan Wallen still has the #1 album. Can you believe it?
When your son finally graduates from pop-country to the real shit
Do you wanna go to the Old Dominion drive-in concert with me?
Morgan Wade’s debut album comes out in just a few weeks
White girls after a Kane Brown concert
Why not to ask your ex-girlfriend if you can come pick up your George Jones records you left at her place
When the sports talk show you love has new Luke Bryan bumper music
When you’ve been to one too many country shows at the amphitheater next to the toxic waste dump
Feb 12, 2021
“We’re proud to show off our newest money-maker, errr, artist, Mr. Wally Cole Morgan!” said England. “I know times are weird, especially for us, but we think Wally is going to more than make up for our recent losses.” England was referring to the suspension of cash-cow Morgan Wallen after video surfaced of Wallen using the “n-word” after a drunken night with friends.
Morgan bears a strong resemblance to Wallen - uncanny in fact - but Stacy Blythe, vice-president of promotion, assured us that any similarities were borne of our own narrow mindedness. “Morgan comes to us a fully formed original, and he’s ready to record and tour and rake in the dough, uh… I mean, rake in the fans!” she smiled. “In fact, he’s already got a record in the can.”
The album, entitled Also Dangerous, is due March 19th with a single “11 Summers” being released next Friday. Big Loud played us some snippets of the songs, and again, Wally sounded a great deal like Morgan Wallen. One might even suspect these songs were the outtakes from Wallen’s Dangerous double album.
Blyth reiterated that our own biases were shining through and that Morgan’s music was entirely unique and in no way just tracks that were deemed too weak for Wallen’s album. “Sure Wally has a mullet - who doesn’t?” she laughed. “But you’ll see that he has green eyes and a mustache! Clearly not the same guy.”
At press time, Big Loud had just sent out an email blast saying that Morgan Wallen was still suspended and taking some time “walking in someone else’s shoes.”
Feb 11, 2021
I’m a liberal because I don’t think country singers should say the n-word?