Showing posts with label Hardy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Hardy. Show all posts

Sep 26, 2019

The Good Place Country Reaction Gifs

How do you feel after hearing Zac Brown Band's "OMW?"

Why do people like Kane Brown? 

What'll happen if FGL covers a Hank Sr. song?

Whiskey Myers, Michaela Anne, Dori Freeman, Sturgill Simpson, and Jon Pardi have new albums Friday??

Do you want to rethink your position on the new Zac Brown Band album? 

When you're in a store and all they play is bro-country

"Hey, I just heard the best Mitchell Tenpenny song!"

You claim to love country, but all you listen to is Luke Bryan, Morgan Wallen, and Hardy?

Sep 18, 2019

Pro Wrestler / Country Singer Equivalents 2019

Keith Urban = Dolph Ziggler
Stupid hair. Been around for a long time.
One of the most talented but always seems to let us down.


Dan + Shay = Glacier & Ernest Miller
Uh, there's two of them.
Good at something probably, but not their chosen field.


Kacey Musgraves = Becky Lynch
 Badass. Stands up for women.
The diehards have always loved her, but she
just went big-time in 2018.


George Jones = Jeff Hardy
One of the greats. Known for showing up in bad shape or not at all.
Has had his photo taken in front of a wall at the police station several times.
(Thanks to Cherryll Batty for this idea!)


Morgan Wallen & Hardy = The Godwinns
Nobody can be this redneck in real life.


Zac Brown = Baron Corbin
Dresses stupid. Not much hair.
Pretty talented but so damn annoying that you honestly just want him to go away.


Kane Brown = The Gobbledy Gooker
Hyped heavily. Made a big splash at first, but once everybody found
out he was lame, nobody was interested any more.


Jul 29, 2019

Carl Outlaw, Real Country Fan, Reviews Hardy’s “Rednecker”



First of all, I'm pretty pissed at Trailer for this one. He told me this song was by some new underground country singer, so when I herd it i actually conected to a lot of it. I mean, I really do piss where I want too! [editor’s note: I did not say that]

And then I saw the dudes face and saw he was like Bobby Bonehead's cousin or something. Probably siamese qu... never mind, Trailer told me to take that part out. Anyway, I questioned Trailer about it and he told me this Hardy dude was actually on a major label! Screw you Trailer for making me listen to Mr. Hard On. 



But now that I know this is a hit on pop country radio I dont like it no more, even if it does speak to a lot of american values. If youre on the same station as Puke Bryan, you're not country. Hell, Luke bryan? Never heard of her! That gets me everytime. 



It makes me maddern a ole wet whore to, because this dudes got a good mullet that goes to waist on this trying to be popular and success full. Why would you be a good artist and want more then 4 or 5 people who know bout you?

Listen to reel country like Joe Gussie and the Dirt Pickers and stay away from this crap. Actually, stay away from Joe, otherwise he might sell out if too many people know about him. I'm rednecker than this Handy guy, and that's because i only like real country and don't have a personal stylist.



-Written by the “real” Carl Outlaw

Feb 22, 2019

Chris Knight vs Hardy


Way More Countrier



A response to the return of "look how country I am" songs, particularly Hardy's "Rednecker" (which I realize may be satire, but still...)

Way More Countrier
©2019 FTM Satire

I see the pissing contest's back
Country this and country that
Well let me tell you something Jack
I'm countrier than y'all
I live where GPS can't track
My daughter's bike has a gun rack
It ain't no rumor, it's a fact...

I'm way more countrier than y'all
So many deer heads you can't see my wall
I own five robes that Ric Flair wore
Drive a truck with a truck painted on the door
Say your neck is red and your jowls are fat
Well I'm way more countrier than that

Everything I kill, I fry it
Hit a possum, yeah I'll try it
You're rednecker? I don't buy it
I'm countrier than y'all
My wife's on a cornbread diet
Named my son after Bray Wyatt
Take a look, you won't deny it

I'm way more countrier than y'all
Can't find my trailer, the weeds are so tall
I sneak a six pack into church
Got a whole room full of Hee Haw merch
You're from the backwoods? I'm further back
Yeah, I'm way more countrier than that

Bridge
You caught a big bass
Well kiss my ass
I've got a tattoo of Jesus
drinking a Pabst

I'm way more countrier than y'all
So many deer heads you can't see my wall
I own five robes that Ric Flair wore
Drive a truck with a truck painted on the door
Say your neck is red and your jowls are fat
Well I'm way more countrier than that


Calvin and Hardy


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