Showing posts with label Christmas. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Christmas. Show all posts

Dec 23, 2021

Untrue Christmas Facts: Kane Brown, Jason Aldean

West Memphis Family Says “Merry Christmas From the Family” Based on Them

The Caulder family of West Memphis, Arkansas is taking songwriter Robert Earl Keen to task and possibly to court over a popular holiday anthem. They say Keen’s “Merry Christmas From the Family” is based entirely upon them and their kooky holiday exploits. 

“I ain’t never heard the song till about a month ago when my nephew’s half-brother was playing it at the Thanksgiving get-together,” said Nick Caulder, patriarch of the family. “And I said to myself, that’s about us, what the wood-paneled f*** is going on here?” When Caulder learned the name of the artist, he ‘Googled up that thievin’ sumbitch’ to see what he looked like.

Sure enough, the singer and writer of the song, Robert Earl Keen was exactly who he thought it was. “I met that fella up to the dog track in about 1993; he was cleaner cut back then but that’s him,” growled Caulder. “I was tore up on about a case of Schlitz and we made buddies real quick watching the 1:15 race.” Caulder went on to explain that he told the presumed Robert Earl Keen all about his dysfunctional but love-filled family Christmas that previous year.

“The fake snow, the Diet Rite, it’s all there,” continued Caulder. “He even left some stuff out to make it more family friendly… he ain’t mention the baby pooping in the Christmas tree water or Fred and Rita getting it on in the coat closet.” 

Caulder, now married to Ken’s first wife Lynn, says he expects a public apology from Keen or else he’ll pursue legal action. “I ain’t worried about the money, unless he don’t be a man and make this right with me and my people; I trusted him with my personal business and he made a big joke out of it.” frowned Caulder. “But he was kinda an odd feller, kept bragging about a 5 pound bass, hell I can catch a 5 pounder out of the sewage ditch over yonder.”

At press time, the Caulder family was filling up the above ground pool for Christmas, which is forecast to be in the upper 70s this year.

Dec 22, 2021

Untrue Christmas Facts: George, Tammy, Waylon, Jessi, Shooter

Wrasslin' Country Reaction Gifs: Christmas Edition

When Santa comes through with a vintage Travis Tritt muscle shirt

When your friend starts playing "Hard Candy Christmas" at the Christmas party

When the neighbor kid's rolling coal and cranking FGL in his Christmas present

When you keep asking Santa for that Hank Sr. box set that's out of print

Billy Strings fans on Christmas Eve

When somebody tweets that they're sad Walker Hayes' new album isn't out yet so they can get it for Christmas

If there was a Christmas remix of "Honky Tonk Badonkadonk"

Well excuse me but I think you've got my chair

My present to people who call me a liberal for making fun of Jason Aldean 

Dec 16, 2021

Jingle All the Way Country Reaction Gifs

Turnpike announced a second Red Rocks show but you probably won’t be able to get those tickets either

When you’re usually a gentle soul, but your kids are singing “Fancy Like”

When Booster keeps singing Dan + Shay Christmas songs

I don’t know why you gotta be angry all the time

When your friend scored Turnpike tickets for him, his girlfriend, and her friend

Why is hick hop still a thing?

When a Kane Brown fan is trying to communicate through spoken word but it just sounds like gibberish and slang

When you put on the country Spotify playlist at the Sunday school class Christmas party but you forgot to take off the Wheeler Walker Jr.


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