Showing posts with label Christmas. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Christmas. Show all posts

Dec 24, 2019

Tyler Childers, Rodney Elkins, etc. Perform "Blue Christmas"

It's a Wonderful Life Country Reaction Gifs 2


Luke Combs' accountant

My face when I hear some Jason Aldean playing in public

Me, talking to the FCC about the local mainstream country station

Dear God, please give Florida-Georgia Line a permanent case of laryngitis

Is Willie's "Pretty Paper" the best Christmas song?

Some of the Americana is just as boring and vapid as mainstream country but y'all not ready for that conversation

Hear ye! Hear ye! Kane Brown sucks!

 When you make it the entire season without hearing "The Christmas Shoes"

Dec 20, 2019

Little Known Facts: Christmas 2019 Edition



Sitting on Charlie Daniels’ lap and telling him what 
you want for Christmas really pisses him off. 

According to Santa’s Naughty and Nice List, Jason “Rowdy” Cope 
of The Steel Woods isn’t rowdy at all.

Shooter Jennings announced a spring tour and is looking forward to hitting the 
road to unwind after another winter of making toys for good boys and girls.

Blind Item: 30-50 feral hogs stole a popular Americana band’s van 
and gear trailer in certain southeastern Texas city.

Freezing temps across the country have caused Luke Bryan’s pants to fit better, 
but he is now battling chapped lips.

Mitchell Tenpenny is the first artist in a new country sub-genre: Incel Country.

With 2019 coming to an end I decided to check in with Colt Ford and 
his resolution to no longer suck. Failing for 50 weeks and counting.

The real issue is that there isn’t a war on “The Christmas Shoes.”

Kane Brown is beter then you’re favorite country sinjer. 
~this fact guest-written by a Kane Brown fan.

Florida Georgia Line’s FGL House features a reverse toy drive where employees 
go to hospitals and orphanages in Nashville and take take toys from the children.

Thomas Rhett cheerful story blah blah good news happy blah.

Starbucks compensated Jason Isbell for not changing his twitter name to IsBELLS this year by sending him a free nonfat, vanilla, soy latte with espresso shot once a week until March. (<—This fact requires too much referential minutia for the average person to get it, but I left it in so you can make fun of Jeremy for writing it. ~Trailer)

I went to see Luke Combs the other day. He said I needed wipers and a cabin air filter.

Gary Levox had a recent trip to the dentist because he confused 
the coal in his stocking for chocolate covered cherries.

Taylor Swift researched her role for Cats by being an actual crazy cat lady.

-----
Most of these by Jeremy Harris - a few by Trailer

The Christmas Shoes Debate


Dec 18, 2019

Santa or Zac Brown?


The Office Christmas Country Reaction Gifs

If there was a Whiskey Myers Christmas song
 
A Bobby Bones impression

♫ ♬ ...dancin' over here or fightin' over there
I'm makin' the rounds, looking for a party crowd ♫ ♬

When a Kane Brown fan asks you if impeachment is something about cobbler

♫ ♬ Come on and tell me what you told my friends
If you think you're brave enough
 ♫ ♬


 When you're enjoying a country playlist and a Sam Hunt song pops up

♫ ♬ You know I don't remember a thing
But they say I sure was raising some cane
 ♫ ♬

When you remember Dwight called Willie Nelson an elderly burnout

Willie, Snoop, and Tyler Childers Christmas Cards



Dec 13, 2019

Mitchell Tenpenny is on Jesus' Naughty List


Santa Requests Voice Messages in Lieu of Letters from Kane Brown Fans


Kris Kringle, aka Santa Claus, usually stays out of the public eye, rarely granting interviews or making public statements. Sure, his legion of helpers is out in force this time of year, taking Christmas requests in mall courtyards and smiling with crying kids on their laps, but the man himself is busy and reclusive. Therefore, his press release this year came as quite a surprise. 

We won’t post the release, but the gist of it was Santa asking Kane Brown fans to leave a voice mail of their Christmas desires rather than send letters this year. His message was direct but polite, never giving the specific reasoning behind his request, only that “these old eyes have a little trouble reading your writing.”

However, we’ve received word from an inside source that Santa’s missive was related to the undecipherable nature of the letters he received from members of the fanbase in recent years. “They looked like they were written by cavemen,” said an anonymous North Pole worker who asked us to refer to him as Toony. “Santa was all understanding and diplomatic like some fat Mr. Rogers, but I’m just gonna say those people are stupid as hell.”

Toony sent a jpeg of one letter that started “Deer Satan” written in hunting face-paint on a paper towel. Though the rest of the note was difficult to translate, it appeared the young man wanted either the game Modern Warfare or something to do with ‘model whores.’ Either request seems just as likely.

“Last year we just gave them all non-gender specific clothing and gift cards to save time because 90% of them were just scribbles and gibberish,” said Toony. “And a surprising amount of them came from prisons, or maybe not that surprising now that I’m thinking about it.”

Toony told us the voice messaging option was going fairly well so far, mostly thanks to technology. An AI listening system has been installed to take the calls and is doing an impressive job translating the yawps and grunts of the Kane Brown fans into gift requests, but he says the letters are still a running joke at Santa’s toy shop, passed around frequently by the elves. 

“One of them was clearly written in sidewalk chalk on the inside of a Playboy magazine cover,” laughed Toony. “It was obviously smeared beyond readability, but I did make out something about ‘booty shorts’…ho ho ho indeed.”


Dec 12, 2019

A (Sad) Christmas Story




*yeah, I know he liked Jason Isbell in another old meme - the Farce the Music Cinematic Universe has no continuity*

The Grinch Country Reaction Gifs

When I listen to Hank 3

When I find out a DJ is opening the country concert

Do you want to listen to Mitchell Tenpenny's Christmas songs?

"Hey, I've got an extra ticket to the Thomas Rhett sho..."

When I first heard Chris Stapleton

Mainstream country radio be like...

Looking at the country chart... FGL, Rhett, Kane Brown...

♪ Merry Christmas from the family 

If Dustin Lynch Released a Christmas Album (w/track listing)



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