The Crud Report: November '23

Top 10 Ways to Know a Country Album Sucks Without Listening to It

10. It’s a solo album from either Florida or Georgia Line

9. The producer has as many songwriter credits as the singer

8. It comes in a box set you have to buy from Bass Pro Shop

(Kidding, it may be good but I’ll never know)

7. The deluxe version came out a month after the regular version

6. Dudes who say “facts” and “bruh” a lot enjoy it

5. The artist’s surname is Lynch, and their first name is Dustin

4. The promotional content mentioned them “experimenting with electro-pop and EDM”

3. If the artist is Shania Twain, and the year of release is post 2000

2. (Featuring Diplo)

1. There are enough songwriters listed to field a Division II college football team

Monday Morning Memes: Zach Bryan, Eddy Arnold, Dustin Lynch

The Crud Report: October '23

Sheep

Eric Won't Name Names But I Will

Left to right, top to bottom: Russell Dickerson, Jordan Davis, Dustin Lynch, Jake Owen, Dylan Scott, Parmalee

Monday Morning Memes: Zach Bryan, Maren Morris, Dustin Lynch, Waylon Jennings

 

Bill Hader Country Reaction Gifs

When George Jones sings:

Well, I caught my wife with another man
And it cost me ninety-nine

When you try to keep up with Willie

"Sam Hunt isn't pop"

Neighbor: You're playing sad country songs way too loud

Me after a bad day at work: 

When you remember Dustin Lynch's clothing line is called Stay Country

When somebody starts talking about Jelly Roll

When somebody says Morgan Wallen is the G.O.A.T.

When somebody comes at George Strait

I'm sadder than Ruston Kelly wearing a Lori McKenna shirt while listening to Gary Stewart

If fans had to be able to recite the ABC's to get into a Kane Brown concert

More Monday Memes: Jason Boland, Dustin Lynch, Dan + Shay

Trucks to Infinity and Beyond

Worst Country Songs of 2022

The Current Poop of Mainstream Country Radio: November 2022

 A poop emoji is negative, a strike thru is positive. Total score below the chart.

The current Poop Rating of the Mediabase Top 20 is (-22) overall which is an 11 point drop (!!) from July (the previous time we did this chart). The best song is Jelly Roll's "Son of a Sinner." (If I had a time machine and went back and told myself about this one in 2015, I'd think future me was on crack.) The worst is Russell Dickerson and Jake Scott's "She Likes It" followed closely by Dustin Lynch's "Party Mode." I thought we were supposedly in the midst of another great credibility scare...

Chart info from Mediabase/Country Aircheck.

Every Artist Has That One Album: Dustin Lynch Edition

Only Murders in the Building Country Reaction Gifs

When given choice of a country song that slaps or a country song that whines

Clint Black?

When you're involved in vertical affection and he says he's gonna put on some Dustin Lynch for mood music

When the SEC has Kane Brown as bumper music despite your requests against it on Twitter

When he's taking you to Applebee's on the first date

When you're touring Garth's house and accidentally end up in the murder basement

Miranda Lambert?

A polite discussion of George Strait's greatness on Twitter

Just listen to 30 seconds of this new Parmalee song and tell me what you think

When you get Garth Brooks' cell #

The Current Poop of Mainstream Country Radio: July '22

A poop emoji is negative, a strike thru is positive. Total score below the chart.

The current Poop Rating of the Mediabase Top 20 is (-11) overall which is a 3 point drop from April (the previous time we did this chart). The best song is Ernest/Morgan Wallen’s “Flower Shops.” The worst is Dustin Lynch’s “Party Mode.” There are less women and more trucks… the typical summer regression.

Chart info from Mediabase/Country Aircheck.

6 New Country Parody Album Covers