Showing posts with label Dustin Lynch. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Dustin Lynch. Show all posts

Feb 8, 2024

The Longest Yard Country Reaction Gifs

Still better than listening to a Kane Brown song

Bro-country videos be like

"Yeah, I'll admit I'm coming around on Jason Aldean; he's such a great singer and seems like a nice fella.

Tyler Childers when he's about to play "Follow You to Virgie"

When you ask an Upchurch fan the last book they read

When you're over 40 trying to power through a late night concert and that 7th beer kicks in

When an elder country singer tries to hit a high note these days

I keep waiting for you to forgive me
And you keep saying you can't even start

So when those three little words come so easy to you
I hope you know what I mean when I say...

Dustin Lynch attempting to make a country song

When your dumbest friend suggests you all go see a Morgan Wallen concert

Watches Childers' "In Your Love" video one (1) time


Jan 19, 2024

Daring New Country Singer Blends Varied Influences Into His Shitty Music


Daring new country singer Skip Malone is on deck for stardom, and he’s here to put Nashville on notice. The dashing 21-year-old out of West Memphis, AR, wants everyone to know that he won’t put out a note of music that wasn’t influenced by music he actually listens to, everything he listens to.

His debut single “Night Like What” blends the stylings of Green Day, Drake, and Kenny Chesney into an unbearable mess of soulless slop. And that’s what he’s counting on. Not on it being an unbearable mess of soulless slop, he’s counting on over-30 country fans to think it’s an unbearable mess of soulless slop. 


“No shade, but I hope they hate it!” laughed Malone. “The more the ops can’t stand it, the more streams we’ll do. You and Saving Country Music and all those blue hairs on Twitter will probably put more cash in my Venmo than the quality of my music.” 


Newly signed to DBAG69, a subsidiary of Mercury Nashville, Malone is already scheduled to open for Dustin Lynch at some shows before his godawful song has even been released to radio. He says the company has promised their full support behind him, already purchasing a tour bus from an ailing legend, and plastering Malone’s ultra-punchable face all over it. 


“TikTok is where we’re really taking off,” said Malone. “Got videos of college girls dancing to “night like what what what” all over the place. It’s humbling fr fr.” (Editor’s note: He actually said “fr fr” out loud)


The song itself, about (you guessed it) meeting a girl in a bar and driving out to the country in his suburban assault truck, sounds like someone having a mild stroke during a Florida-Georgia Line karaoke performance. There’s snap beats, metal riffs, a hint of banjo, an EDM breakdown, a rapped bridge, and autotune galore. It’s as if every channel on Sirius XM was played on top of one another at once, but with a singular programmed beat. 


Currently dating one of Morgan Wallen’s leftovers, Skip Malone looks to have a massive year and he’s excited. “It’s gone be bussin going on tour with Dustin Lynch and dropping this fire later this year.” he smiled. 


At press time, Skip Malone was putting the finishing touches on his second single, “No Simp No Cap.”


Dec 14, 2023

The Santa Clause Country Reaction Gifs

Me when somebody says they 
grew up on Tyler Childers' music

Boogity! Boogity!

You'll always be a fire I can't put out

New mainstream country songwriters trying to think of truck models and beer brands to put in their song

Well I woke up Sunday morning
With no way to hold my head that didn't hurt

When your stepmom is really into Kane Brown music

When there's one dude in the Americana band who doesn't look the part

When the first song they play at the office Christmas party is "The Christmas Shoes"

"Is Dustin Lynch a country singer?"

Jason Aldean's vocal style can best be described as:

Nov 1, 2023

Top 10 Ways to Know a Country Album Sucks Without Listening to It

10. It’s a solo album from either Florida or Georgia Line

9. The producer has as many songwriter credits as the singer

8. It comes in a box set you have to buy from Bass Pro Shop
(Kidding, it may be good but I’ll never know)

7. The deluxe version came out a month after the regular version

6. Dudes who say “facts” and “bruh” a lot enjoy it

5. The artist’s surname is Lynch, and their first name is Dustin

4. The promotional content mentioned them “experimenting with electro-pop and EDM”

3. If the artist is Shania Twain, and the year of release is post 2000

2. (Featuring Diplo)

1. There are enough songwriters listed to field a Division II college football team

Sep 29, 2023

Eric Won't Name Names But I Will



Left to right, top to bottom: Russell Dickerson, Jordan Davis, Dustin Lynch, Jake Owen, Dylan Scott, Parmalee

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