Jan 18, 2021
Sep 22, 2020
Jul 7, 2020
|BJ Barham (American Aquarium)|
|Merle Haggard. Forgive me, Merle.|
Apr 28, 2020
Apr 22, 2020
Apr 16, 2020
♫ ♬ It didn't take me long to learn
that I was born to boogie ♫ ♬
♫ ♬ Well I asked my pappy why he called his brew
White light'nin' 'stead of mountain dew ♫ ♬
When somebody says Sam Hunt is the best country singer
How do you like that new Jesse Daniel album?
When somebody insults the honor of Jesco White
If you think Mitchell Tenpenny is country, you must be
How to know when you're in hick-hop country
It's okay for me to pick at hillbillies because I'm the southern version.
Apr 9, 2020
Apr 8, 2020
10. Garth Brooks
Just cries in the corner the whole time.
9. Kacey Musgraves
Smokes up all your weed.
8. Gary LeVox
In this temporarily ‘nicer’ era of Farce the Music, I will leave this one alone, but you know why he’s here.
7. Martina McBride
High stakes poker games with toilet paper for money. Constantly setting up booby traps and cleaning her AK for when “shit goes down.”
6. Cody Jinks
Won’t stop reminding everyone that The Rock is a big fan. Unfortunately, Ward Davis had to come along too - it’s a package deal.
5. Justin Moore
Constantly needs help reaching stuff in the cabinet and climbing up on the toilet.
4. Mitchell Tenpenny
Your wife won’t come out of the bedroom because “his staring is getting really creepy.” Refuses to wash his hands.
3. Thomas Rhett
Brings over all his kids and their friends, negating the whole social distancing thing. Wants to have Ed Sheeran karaoke contests 24/7.
2. Sam Hunt
Expects you to keep his hair cut and styled for him. Water bill extremely high from washing all his jogger pants. Wants you to be the snap track for him when he’s writing songs.
1. Shooter Jennings
Eats all your Funyuns. His ‘essential’ luggage is 5 crates of He-Man lunch boxes.
Eats up all the wifi bandwidth playing video games constantly. Conspiracy theories out the wazoo.
Mar 27, 2020
Brantley Gilbert fans:
The usual - morning bell, inmate count, breakfast, work detail, inmate count…
Luke Bryan fans:
young - Tik Tok dance videos; older - drinking wine, also doing Tik Tok videos
Florida-Georgia Line fans:
going to the beach, going to parties, having sex with people they just met
doing chores, homework, texting other kids their age
maintaining their regimen of ceftriaxone and azithromycin, stalking exes
morel hunting, drinking themselves blind
journaling, skin care, skin care journaling
N/A - he has run off all his fans
Charlie Daniels Band:
sharing factually incorrect memes, going to church, sleeping with Fox News on