Sep 17, 2020
Sep 9, 2020
Aug 27, 2020
I don't know who made these, unless noted otherwise.
|Think I'll Just Stay Here and Meme|
|We Hate Pop Country|
Jul 24, 2020
Jun 23, 2020
Jun 15, 2020
Jun 4, 2020
May 7, 2020
Apr 21, 2020
Apr 16, 2020
♫ ♬ It didn't take me long to learn
that I was born to boogie ♫ ♬
♫ ♬ Well I asked my pappy why he called his brew
White light'nin' 'stead of mountain dew ♫ ♬
When somebody says Sam Hunt is the best country singer
How do you like that new Jesse Daniel album?
When somebody insults the honor of Jesco White
If you think Mitchell Tenpenny is country, you must be
How to know when you're in hick-hop country
It's okay for me to pick at hillbillies because I'm the southern version.
Apr 1, 2020
11. Teach a Kane Brown fan to read by FaceTime
10. Send a letter to your congressman informing them that your favorite bands can still perform live and stay under the 10 person recommendation
9. Remind hick-hop fans that not only should they wash their hands frequently, but that they should also wash their bodies from time to time
8. Paint an inspirational message on the local water tower in John Deere green
7. Tell the Dollar General manager that times are stressful enough without them playing bro-country in the store and kindly request they turn it off
6. Go to your favorite bartender's house and blare George Jones from their yard to cheer them up
5. Whatever Dolly Parton is doing, do that
4. Send a friendly postcard to a Brantley Gilbert fan in prison
3. Avoid political arguments unless one a’ them stinkin’ liberal pinko commie America-hatin’ Dixie Chicks fans starts it first
2. Use two pairs of Luke Bryan’s old pants to make one face mask for the local hospital
1. Buy albums and merchandise from the independent musicians you enjoy (or tip them during their live shows on Instagram, Facebook, etc)
~By Trailer and Jeremy Harris
Mar 10, 2020
Mar 7, 2020
Feb 28, 2020
Larry Jack Pullen of West Memphis, Arkansas, who may be in possession of a device that can transport humans through time, is very upset with the Academy of Country Music awards nominations that were announced yesterday. He took to Facebook to announce his displeasure, saying “No George Jones, Johnny Cash or Ray Price. They are getting awards for ruining Country Music.” The comment was in response to a Facebook post that listed the likes of Thomas Rhett and Luke Combs as 2020 nominees.
When reached by Messenger for comment (I didn't tell him the artists he listed were no longer alive because I assumed he knew), Pullen went on a long rant about the fabric of America, smart phones, and something about “the Chinamen,” before finally getting back around to country music.
“Riley Green, who’s she? If Johnny Paycheck isn’t up for best male artist, then what the hell is even going on? Nobody respects are elders any more and that’s why Jimmy Carter got elected.”
I asked Larry Jack if he could share the secret of time travel with me, but he said I must be on the reefer to ask something like that. “Your one of them what’s trying to make country music liberal and gay, aren’t you?” he asked. “IF YOU PEOPLE BY GOD RUIN WHAT GLEN CAMPBELL AND CONWAY TWITTY WORK EVERY DAY TO KEEP STRONG I WILL FIND WHERE YOU LIVE and you will regret it!”
I tried to calm the conversation, but it was no use. “It’s a g***amn shame what their doing.” said Pullen, “I bet Tammy Wynette won’t even be preforming on the show, will she?” When I let him know that Wynette had sadly passed on, he told me to send condolences to her family and let him know where to send flowers.
*this is based on a real Facebook comment (just the first one) - only the name was changed*