Monday Morning Memes: Thomas Rhett, Keanu, Dwight Yoakam

Lonely Lonely Streets That I Call Home

YouTube Gems / Emmylou Harris & Dwight Yoakam / "Golden Ring"

Country TwitterWINs: April '19

Old Town Road is still more country than anything FGL or Sam Hunt has ever made

— Chase Kozak (@KozakChase) March 31, 2019

 

Do you ever sit and think about what kind of world we are leaving for Willie Nelson and Keith Richards?

— Jason Vance (@jasoncolevance) April 25, 2019

 

Don’t claim to be a George Strait fan, when you spell his last name wrong.

— Allison Brooke Smith (@abrooke27) March 31, 2019

 

Tyler Childers killed it last night. If you don’t like his music, with all due respect, your opinion is garbage and you should reevaluate your entire life.

— Hayden (@haydengaspard) April 12, 2019

 

For Easter at Luke Bryan’s house they color his teeth and hide the top buttons of his shirts

— Steve (@AnExocticBeach) April 19, 2019

 

People say I’m a dinosaur for wanting country music to sound country. Well rooooooaaarrrrr motherf***ers.

— Reginald Spears (@ReginaldSpears) April 23, 2019

 

Any of the new “country” boy singers lol Kane Brown or a multitude of others that I can’t quite name because I don’t pay attention to garbage. https://t.co/voYfYfob4Y

— Lady GlitterSparkles (@BlairSmiles) March 31, 2019

 

I was just at a local John Deere dealership, rapping with some local farmers, we had a beer, it was recorded. You just may see me on the modern country music charts soon.

— Goofbag (@punisher766) April 29, 2019

 

Country music challenge: listen to @DwightYoakam ‘s “Thousand Miles from Nowhere” then literally ANY modern radio country and not be offended by it.

— Neko Case (@NekoCase) April 23, 2019

 

Florida Georgia Line and Jason Aldean opening the show? This is why country music has turned trash. THIS ISN’T EVEN COUNTRY. This is a bunch of cats fighting in a bag full of nails. #ACMs

— Ryan Graney (@RyanEGraney) April 8, 2019

 

dalton, damn, man. trap is not the right word to go about getting someone to fall in love with you and marry your dumbass. maybe just try to develop a somewhat likable personality. https://t.co/srHDxpWbxE

— Ray Wylie Hubbard (@raywylie) April 29, 2019

 

The black hole announced by scientists today is located 55 million light years from Earth, has a mass 6.3 billions that of our sun, and sucks 1/20th as much as Florida Georgia Line.

— NotKennyRogers (@NotKennyRogers) April 11, 2019

 

I wouldn’t give a shit if the country chart was 15 black people, 15 white women, 3 Samoans, 6 Pakistanis, and 1 white dude, as long as they’re twanging, playing real instruments, and singing about heartbreak, drinking, work, and love.

— Reginald Spears (@ReginaldSpears) March 28, 2019

 

Mike & The Moonpies + Jamie Lin Wilson / "Guitars, Cadillacs"

Dwight Yoakam Speaks Out on Chafing

by Trailer - Originally posted on Country California, Friday, May 21, 2010 

Dwight Yoakam has taken on the yoke, so to speak, of bringing a seldom considered - but quite serious health matter to the forefront of the American consciousness. The twangy country singer/actor has signed on with NADDS (National Abrasion Detection & Deletion Society) to appear in their television and radio spots promoting the awareness of severe groin chafing. 

"This was a perfect fit for me, no pun intended," laughed Yoakam, who has been known to wear his boot cut jeans a bit on the tight side. "So I thought, hell, why not?" 

Lou Brickant, founder and head spokesperson for NADDS, told us: "Like ball and glove, this will be a close relationship; we'll be sponsoring D-Y's next tour and handing out pamphlets and comfort packets at each show. Lap wellness is a severely overlooked personal health issue in this nation and we intend to bring awareness to the fans' genital areas." 

Yoakam says he has taken steps in his life and career to prevent chafing which he thinks would benefit all his fans as well. "I've traded the painted-on jeans for merely wallpapered-on jeans and I've started liberally applying Blue Star ointments and powders to prevent rash and chafing. I've learned to pamper my package." 

Dwight has even written the hygiene issue into the first single from his forthcoming album. "It's called 'Blue Star Baby' and it's about a woman who hangs on waaay too tight," said Yoakam, fidgeting in his seat out of habit. 

The singer's 52-date "Saving the American Crotch" tour begins Friday, June 11 in Crested Butte, CO and continues through summer before wrapping up in Dicktown, NJ in September. 

Untrue Facts About Reba, Garth, Waylon, and Dwight

If (Classic Country Song) Was Bro-Country

Since bro-country seems to be making a slight return this summer, it seems like a good time to bring back this feature.

If (Classic Country Song) Was Bro-Country

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Patsy Cline - She's Got You

I've got your picture

That you Snapped to me

Screen-shot it with love

Showed it to my homies

Ain't nothing different

Since we've been through

I've got your picture

It's a nude

Waylon & Willie - Mammas Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Cowboys

Mammas don't let your babies grow up to soyboys

Don't let 'em dip pouches or vote for no cucks

Let 'em be hotties and frat boys and such

Mammas don't let your babies grow up to soyboys

'Cause they'll never lift, bro, and they'll never roll coal

They won't even drive a truck

Tammy Wynette - Stand By Your Man

Stand by your man,

In cut off shorts that cling to,

That shaker mama gave you 

Move that thing like a pony

Dwight Yoakam - Guitars, Cadillacs

Now it's roll bars, rifle racks, Lil Dicky music

Dusty gravel roads that I chill on

Yeah my roll bars, rifle racks, Lil Dicky music

Keep this party lit till the night is gone

Sunday Mornin' Music / Dwight Yoakam

Dwight Yoakam and Brothers Osborne Perform "Fast as You"

There's another guy on the performance as well, but I don't acknowledge his existence anymore (in a positive manner).

Roseanne Country Reaction Gifs

When you were about to leave, but you hear Cody Jinks playing

When the TV is stuck on CMT and you're too lazy to find the remote

In the bathroom at a Willie concert

When all the presents are mainstream country CD's

Trying to keep it cool when Mr. Yoakam calls

"Sam Hunt's not that bad"

When the hubby says Miranda Lambert is hot.

"Panic is way better than any Americana band"

Was that you who left all those vulgar comments on Luke Bryan's Facebook page?

Sarah Shook & The Disarmers / KEXP Live / "Dwight Yoakam"

I Saw Dwight Last Night

I saw Dwight Yoakam (for the first time) with The Steel Woods last night. It was fantastic. I'm too lazy to write a proper review, but trust me when I say he's every bit the performer you imagine - a legend still in prime shape vocally and as a performer. The Steel Woods were great too - playing 6-7 songs from their (top 10 of '17 for me) album Straw in the Wind and a cover of "Yesterday's Wine." Dwight was in a good mood for his set - pulling out a few songs he rarely plays these days (according to set lists I've seen) and a ton of covers. Our Governor, Phil Bryant, visited Dwight before the show and made a song request that surprised Yoakam, but he played it. "Buenos Noches From a Lonely Room," a spare and cold murder ballad, isn't what you'd expect a state head honcho to be into, but I'm glad he is. Anyway, here's the set list from the show.

You're Not a Real Country Singer!

You're Not a Real Country Singer If...

Your jeans are tight but your name ain't Dwight

You've ever suggested a trap beat to your album's producer

You've spent any amount of time trying to work 

the phrase "poop emoji" into a song @samgazdiak

All your fans need a ride from their parents to the concert... -Eddie Combs

You're more likely to be seen with a Sun Beach tan than a Miller can

You think Bobby Bare is the name of an exotic dancer -Justin Chambers

You haven't left a girl in West Virginia, up there where the green grass grows. 

Another girl in Cincinnati waiting where the Ohio River flows -Anthony Machado

They play your song on country radio @harrymorgan1937

You are certain Hank done it this way -Carl Wallace

Your jeans are tighter than your electronic drum beat @mkleiner2

You have tattoos but no scars -Seth Wilson

Your favorite Patty Loveless song is "Who is Patty Loveless?"

You are Kane Brown @amanda_darlene3

Your name rhymes with "mane crown" -Garrett Dressler

You can't get stoned with your band because it's all computers @Famous_Abell

You have a hype man

You think the Carter scratch is something your DJ does @JuliThanki

You don't say anything at all about mama, or trains, or trucks, 

or prison, or gettin' drunk. -Connor Smith

You sing about Dixie cups. (if you do, you're either a dentist or a toddler) @ryankentm

You can't name 3 George Jones songs but you remember every winner of The Bachelor

You use "how we roll" in a song and your protagonist in the song 

isn't a truck driver. -Michael Crabtree

You think American Aquarium is a nickname for Seaworld @SeanRKent

You'd rather be spayed or neutered than express any negative opinion whatsoever

At least one Backstreet Boy was involved in the 

creation of your latest album. @10lbhammerbp

You think Conway Twitty is just someone The Family Guy made up

Your truck tires are higher than your IQ @Senor_Fern

You think Jason Aldean is "old school".... -Chuck Dye

You can't recite the "third" verse to "Friends in Low Places" @swoletexan

You sing about bars and churches, but haven't been to either one in years

You have backup dancers -BamaDan Ferguson

You think a Telecaster is the guy who reads the news on TV - Seth Wilson

You think Moe Bandy is a rapper featured on Ariana Grande's next single

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Thanks to our Twitter and Facebook friends for the replies!

All others written by Trailer.

Shut the Hell Up, Bobby Bones

Spongebob: Country Reaction Gifs

Hey guys, I've got tickets to Dylan Scott and can't make it.

Anybody want 'em?

Cole Swindell back in Jr. High music class

When you find out you'll be out of town

the night Dwight Yoakam is playing

Every dad who had to take their daughter

to the Luke Bryan concert

Hello Mr. Country Radio Programmer,

do you actually like country music?

Dude said you'll go to hell if you don't like

FGL/Backstreet Boys' "God, Your Mama, and Me"

Waiting for a country song on country radio...

Dwight Yoakam Performs "Gone" on Colbert

WWE Country Reaction Gifs 17

Oh, you think "Are You Ready For Some Football" 

is Hank Jr.'s best song??

 Did I actually just hear Chris Stapleton's 

"Parachute" on the radio?

Insane Clown Posse cover band goes country

When your debate over Ryan Adams' 

best song gets a little out of hand

Nashville "country" songwriting session: 

"This songs needs a little something... I know!"

Me, about Easton Corbin

 How you should look at someone 

who asks "Who's Charley Pride?"

When your two best friends find out you have 

one extra ticket to Dwight Yoakam

Dwight Yoakam, Chris & Morgane Stapleton - Seven Spanish Angels (CMA Awards)

This video keeps getting removed from YouTube for copyright reasons (not my recording). I'll try to keep it live... perhaps if the CMA would post the damn thing officially, they wouldn't have this issue...

Country Graphic Design Nerd Humor

@TheJackalopeTX sent me this. 

So of course I had to make a bunch of my own typeface/country song mashups. 

Random and nerdy, but what else would you expect from us?