Farce the Music: Rich O'Toole

Nov 10, 2022

Top 12 Signs a Texas Country Singer Isn’t Really From Texas

~ Trailer, with big help from Rich O’Toole

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12. When he covers “Screw You, We’re From Texas,” he just lets the crowd sing the word ‘Texas'

11. Thinks you’re talking about Lebron James when you mention the king

10. Actually enjoys Lone Star Beer

9. Dad owns a financial firm in Little Rock

8. Makes up a lie that it’s how they did it in (makes up Texas small town) when somebody calls them out for putting beans in chili

7. Follows Rich O’Toole on Twitter

6. Just nods along when band talks about kolaches because he thinks that’s a wooden dancing shoe that the Swedish wear or some shit

5. Still thinks Pat Green is famous

4. Wears a straw hat in winter

3. Books a Friday show in Houston and a Saturday show in El Paso because “it’s the same state, how far can it be?”

2. Rhymes ‘Bexar’ with Lexar in a song

1. Calls Jerry Jeff Walker …Jerry Jeff Walker

Jul 9, 2021

Texas Country Singer Dies After Accidentally Eating Chili with Beans

Up and coming Texas country singer-songwriter Kodee Westmoreland passed away on Monday, July 5. Westmoreland was visiting friend Lawrence Allen in Louisiana for the long Independence Day weekend when he suddenly became violently ill after a meal. Allen rushed him to the emergency room, but Westmoreland was declared dead upon arrival.

The cause of death is still pending investigation, but Westmoreland’s parents believe they know what happened. “They fed him chili with …beans put in it.” cried Lori Westmoreland, Kodee’s mother. “I think he just died from the shock of such a travesty.”

Allen, for his part, admits serving the heretofore mentioned bespoiled chili. “That’s silly,” said Allen. “I’m trying to mourn my friend and they’re throwing accusations at me. Was he allergic to beans? No. Did he choke? No. Case closed.”

Still, Allen’s account of the incident to police adds credence to the Westmorelands’ theory. According to the report, Westmoreland took a large bite of chili directly from the pot Allen was cooking in. He then told Allen “That has good flavor, but something isn’t right.” Allen asked if maybe some more cumin might help. “Hell no,” said Westmoreland. “But… oh God.” Westmoreland then immediately bent over clutching his stomach. “There’s. Beans.” were reportedly the last words he ever uttered.

The Westmoreland family has retained legal counsel and plans to pursue a civil suit against Lawrence Allen. “We’re still formulating an argument at this point, but clearly the act of cooking ‘chili bean stew’ and calling it chili, leading to Kodee’s consumption of the mislabeled dish, caused such trauma to his system and sense of Texas pride that his heart simply stopped.” said family attorney Howard Kaufmann.

“I just miss my friend,” said Allen. “I don’t think he was so hard-headed that he died because I broke the Texas Ten Commandments or something.”

It will be interesting to see how the situation plays out. RIP in peace, Kodee!

Rich O’Toole was unavailable for comment at press time.