Jul 9, 2021
The cause of death is still pending investigation, but Westmoreland’s parents believe they know what happened. “They fed him chili with …beans put in it.” cried Lori Westmoreland, Kodee’s mother. “I think he just died from the shock of such a travesty.”
Allen, for his part, admits serving the heretofore mentioned bespoiled chili. “That’s silly,” said Allen. “I’m trying to mourn my friend and they’re throwing accusations at me. Was he allergic to beans? No. Did he choke? No. Case closed.”
Still, Allen’s account of the incident to police adds credence to the Westmorelands’ theory. According to the report, Westmoreland took a large bite of chili directly from the pot Allen was cooking in. He then told Allen “That has good flavor, but something isn’t right.” Allen asked if maybe some more cumin might help. “Hell no,” said Westmoreland. “But… oh God.” Westmoreland then immediately bent over clutching his stomach. “There’s. Beans.” were reportedly the last words he ever uttered.
The Westmoreland family has retained legal counsel and plans to pursue a civil suit against Lawrence Allen. “We’re still formulating an argument at this point, but clearly the act of cooking ‘chili bean stew’ and calling it chili, leading to Kodee’s consumption of the mislabeled dish, caused such trauma to his system and sense of Texas pride that his heart simply stopped.” said family attorney Howard Kaufmann.
“I just miss my friend,” said Allen. “I don’t think he was so hard-headed that he died because I broke the Texas Ten Commandments or something.”
It will be interesting to see how the situation plays out. RIP in peace, Kodee!
Rich O’Toole was unavailable for comment at press time.
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What could make the new Sam Hunt song tolerable?
Nashville drummers about drum machines:
If you think Mitchell Tenpenny is a country singer, much less a good one...
"Hey you heard that FGL song with Justin Bieber??"
Rich O'Toole be like...
When a Kane Brown fan speaks
What are country radio executives terrified by?
Me, making more memes about mainstream country
Feb 14, 2018
If for some reason you haven't seen the video that the screaming sky cowboy
(Scottish/Australian rock singer Jimmy Barnes) is from, enjoy:
Nov 15, 2017
Chris Young = Sami Zayn
Talented, likable, turned bad when doing things the right way didn't make him popular.
Sam Hunt = Karl Malone
Tall. Athletic. Not actually a country singer/wrestler, but happy to (poorly) pretend to be for money. Never won a pro sports championship.
Old Dominion = The Spirit Squad
There may be some talent in there, but it's hard to tell. Stupid looking. Creepy as shit.
Rich O'Toole = Zack Ryder
A bro, but a likable one. Self hype-man. Annoying to some,
but appreciated when he does good work.
Charlie Daniels = Zeb Colter
Old, bearded, southern. Republican. Says crazy shit.
Dan + Shay = Billy and Chuck
Duo. Somewhat talented, but purists don't like them.
Are thought by some to be fabulous; not that there's anything wrong with that.