Showing posts with label Lainey Wilson. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Lainey Wilson. Show all posts

Oct 25, 2023

Country Twitter Fails: October '23

*there are a couple of really gross ones*

 Sure, white people came to America in complete silence until we learned of the glorious invention of music by all the other cultures

Oct 3, 2023

Brutally Honest Country Top 20

By Bobby Peacock. 

(you can tell it's not me because I wouldn't admit a Dan + Shay song was good even if I liked it)

Here's the real thing for reference.

Aug 8, 2023

The Current Poop of Mainstream Country Radio: August '23

 A poop emoji is negative, a strike thru is positive, an asterisk denotes a song  where the good attributes and the bad are dead even.

The current Poop Rating of the Mediabase Top 20 is (-10) overall which is a 4 point drop from May (the previous time we did this chart). The best song (by a hair over Hailey Whiters) is Luke Combs’ monster hit cover of Tracy Chapman’s “Fast Car.” The worst is Parmalee's "Girl in Mine" for the second time in a row, narrowly beating out Luke Bryan’s insipid “But I Got a Beer in My Hand.” I don’t really see any particular trends besides it being summer, always a celebration of cliches on country radio. 

Chart info from Mediabase/Country Aircheck.

Apr 21, 2023

Man Feigns Obliviousness as Wife Compliments Lainey Wilson’s Backside

While lounging on the couch after work with his wife Thursday, Jacob Boothe was presented with a difficult challenge. Samantha, Jacob’s wife, was watching Entertainment Tonight as they waited on lasagna in the oven when she suddenly made some statements that would test his resolve and ability to avoid a night on the couch. 

“Look at that thing!” exclaimed Mrs. Booth. “That is impressive.” Samantha was referring to the derriere of country star Lainey Wilson, as ET reporters discussed Wilson’s submission of an original song for Emmy consideration. 

Jacob, an experienced and wary husband, did not even consider averting his eyes from his phone, where he was setting the lineup for his fantasy baseball team. He knew better. 

“I wonder if that’s genetics,” Samantha continued. “Or lots of cornbread and squats at the gym…” 

Again, Jacob was silent, keeping his full attention on his pitching choices for the evening. “Should I start Sandoval or Senga?” he pondered, fully aware that the slightest diversion of his attentiveness could lead to a very tricky situation. 

“But this is silly,” he thought. “We are grown adults who’ve been married for over a decade; if we can’t discuss this sort of thing in a mature fashion, we’re just a cliche Rodney Dangerfield joke about marriage.”

“Is that the country singer with that truck song?” he asked tentatively.

“Yeah, I think so,” answered Samantha. “Dat ass though…” she said as she pulled up some photos on her phone and pushed it in front of Jacob’s 3-2 baseball lineup. 

“Uh huh,” deferred Jacob, his eyes quickly darting over to their cat pawing at a curtain. 

Samantha rolled her eyes, having caught onto Jacob’s game. “Mmm Hmm,” she said accusingly. 

He’d over-played his hand, leaned too hard into aloofness. “Fine, she’s a very attractive woman,” he admitted, opening a door he hadn’t wanted to. “Are you satisfied?”

At press time, the lasagna had burned, and the Boothes were ordering pizza.

Mar 15, 2023

The Current Poop of Mainstream Country Radio: March 2023

 A poop emoji is negative, a strike thru is positive, an asterisk is mediocre (or the negatives outweigh the positives). I needed a new grading option - there’s more meh these days than flat-out bad. Total score below the chart.

The current Poop Rating of the Mediabase Top 20 is (+3) overall which is a 19 point improvement (!!) from November (the previous time we did this chart). The best song is Carly Pearce’s “What He Didn’t Do.” The worst is Tyler Hubbard’s “Dancin’ in the Country,” which is only a hair’s width worse that Dan + Shay’s drivel. Anyway, nice upgrade, country radio! The credibility scare is back in progress. 

Chart info from Mediabase/Country Aircheck.

Feb 14, 2023

Elderly Country Songs: Luke Bryan, Blake Shelton, Lainey Wilson, Whiskey Myers, Keith Urban

Luke Bryan
Octogenarian Shake It For Me
Say It Again
Gruntin’, Bitchin’, and Lovin’ Every Day
Crash My Walker
All My Friends Passed Away

Keith Urban
You Look Good in My Sweater Vest
John Lennon, John Deere, John 3:16

Lainey Wilson
Heart Like a Yugo
Smell Like Icy-Hot
Watermelon Smoothie

Blake Shelton
No Booty

Whiskey Myers

Facility We Call Home


Early Buffet and a Shuffleboard Crowd

For the Grandkids


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